Notifying court of new phone # - post custody, no contact with dad - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 01-23-2014, 06:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi Ladies, 

 

My divorce was finalized almost 2 years ago and we've had no contact with the children's father since then (he showed up at court asking for 50/50 then didn't show up for supervised visits, never heard from him again) I had the same number for years and years, recently I changed it because I was getting calls constantly from blocked numbers and I could hear people in the background speaking my ex's native language. I got scared when I heard that and changed my number. I have NO contact information for him. 

 

I went to the court to try to submit a notice that I changed my number- in case they needed to contact me? I don't know, I just thought I would need to keep the court updated on my address and phone number forever. The lady said they cannot accept it unless I had served ex by mail or processor with the same notice. I tried to explain that we don't have an on-going case but she kept saying she can't give legal advice. 

 

I just don't want to get in trouble if he someday contacts the court to start visitations (he hasn't seen children in almost 4 years, so unlikely.. didn't even visit them when he drove half way across country for court)

 

There is nothing in the divorce or custody decree stating that I need to update info with court so I don't know if it's required or not. Any ideas?

 

Thanks

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#2 of 5 Old 01-23-2014, 08:29 PM
 
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Do you still have the same email address or anything?  I would think that as long as you leave some way for your ex to contact the children without him having to search too hard, you are probably fine, but I don't know the legal ramifications of that.  Does your ex have any custody at all technically?  Shared legal?

 

I can't imagine that he could come crying that you kept him from the kids because you changed your phone number after he hadn't seen then voluntarily for 4 years, and it doesn't sound like his likely to anyway. 

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#3 of 5 Old 01-23-2014, 08:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, I still have the same email address that I've had since 2004 or so. In fact he has sent occasional child support payments via paypal to my email address. True that it is doubtful he will try to contact kids but I don't want to be in trouble if we're "uncontactable".. 

I have full legal and physical custody- court said 3 months of weekly supervised visitations and then we would meet again to adjust visits.. but he didn't attend a single visit with kids. The state I'm located in, he never lived in.. and it is entirely possible that he's left the country by now. 

It's been almost two years and unfortunately I can't afford a lawyer at this time to see if I can remove the option of supervised visits. 

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#4 of 5 Old 01-24-2014, 10:24 AM
 
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I would review your divorce/custody orders to see if there's any guidance there. My DH's custody order states that each parent is required to notify the other parent and the court of any change of address or phone number within a relatively short timeline (something like 10 or 15 days). If there's something similar in your order, it may be worth making a documentable effort to notify him of the change just in case he tries to use contempt of court claims against you someday. I agree, if he hasn't tried to reach out in four years it doesn't seem like likely he's suddenly show up to rock the boat but at least you'd have your bases covered.

 

You might also check with your regional child support enforcement unit to see if you can keep your address/phone number updated with THEM. I don't think they would have any requirements of only recording things that Ex was also served with. In my state, DH updating his address on the drivers license, voting, car registration, and with the district court (per the court order) didn't get shared with the support enforcement unit and they sent mail to the wrong address for years (except he didn't know because mail forwarding had stopped). Point being, it would be another breadcrumb you could leave to make it easier to contact you if he decides to take interest.

 

Perhaps you could contact the law school in Boulder to see if they have any legal services or guidance for no charge just to get an idea of your options are and the associated risks, if any.


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#5 of 5 Old 01-24-2014, 10:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for your replies. Child support was ordered by court but never set up with the registery- so that's out. It is hard because he is not a safe person for us to be around..so I don't want to contact him via email to inform him of the change.. I do feel like he was behind the weird calls I was getting. I will contact legal aid and see
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