Passports? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 12 Old 01-25-2014, 08:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
thatgirliknew's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Louisville, KY
Posts: 522
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I'm aware that to get a US Passport for your child, you must have both parent's consent. DD's father has made no effort to contact/visit her since April. (We have a restraining order, but he's supposed to be still allowed visitation IF he brings it in front of the judge, which he was told at our last court date in April, but never did) How does a passport work when you have no idea where the other parents is and they've made no contact?


Single mama to DS8 and DD4. Feminist. Queer. Atheist. Poly. Full-time poli sci and econ student.
thatgirliknew is online now  
#2 of 12 Old 01-25-2014, 09:02 AM
 
One_Girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 4,735
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 35 Post(s)
Do you have legal and physical custody? If so you don't need his permission to get a passport. If not I'd pursue changing it so you do, it won't change visitation but will give you freedom to get a passport.
One_Girl is offline  
#3 of 12 Old 01-26-2014, 07:30 AM
 
greenemami's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: PA
Posts: 1,770
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 9 Post(s)

I have heard that you can sometimes get a waiver for his signature--the lack of contact + the restraining order may be enough reason, but I really don't know.  Maybe visit the courthouse or wherever you do the paperwork and see if they can help you.

 

I agree, though, that changing custody so you have sole legal is a good idea for the future if he is not going to be around anyway.  good luck!

sillysapling likes this.

Single mama namaste.gif to dd dust.gifand ds fencing.gif, loving my dsd always reading.gif .
greenemami is online now  
#4 of 12 Old 01-28-2014, 01:53 PM
 
VocalMinority's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: surrounded by testosterone
Posts: 1,306
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by One_Girl View Post

Do you have legal and physical custody? If so you don't need his permission to get a passport. If not I'd pursue changing it so you do, it won't change visitation but will give you freedom to get a passport.

To be very clear, you may only get a passport for your child without the consent/participation of the other parent, if you have sole legal and physical custody - i.e., the other parent has NO parental rights.

 

It's a fine line:

 

- Mom could have sole custody - Dad could have "no parental rights" - even though he has visitation rights.  For example, grandparents might get orders for visitation, without having parental rights (like being able to seek medical care for the child, without parental consent).

 

On the other hand...

 

- Mom could have primary legal and physical custody (i.e., the child "lives" with Mom and "visits" Dad; and Mom has the final say in any decisions, when the parents can't agree), but Dad could still share "legal and physical custody":  

 

*** Even if Mom has more parenting time (thus, a larger share of custody), the court may look at Dad's parenting time as his/her portion of custody, not merely "visitation" like a grandparent might receive.

 

*** Mom might be able to effectively make unilateral decisions (if the parents never seem able to agree, then her preferences might win by default); yet the court may still expect her to at least inform Dad about and involve him in decisions... i.e., legal parental rights.  Such rights would still entitle him to veto his child being able to leave the country.

 

Be careful about how your custody orders are worded.  You don't want to accidentally represent to a federal agency that you have sole custody, if you only have primary custody (or whatever your local courts call it).

 

But the poster I quote is right:  If - technically - parents have joint legal custody, but the "non-residential" parent's failure to communicate blocks the "residential" parent from being able to parent (ex.:  Dad hasn't said no to a passport, but the child can't get one because he won't bother to say yes, either...), that would be a strong, practical argument for switching to sole legal custody.


One woman in a house full of men:  my soul mate:    or... twin sons:(HS seniors) ... step-son:  (a sophomore) ... our little man:   (a first grader) ... and there is another female in the house, after all:  our
VocalMinority is online now  
#5 of 12 Old 01-30-2014, 07:36 AM
 
Kate&Joey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 396
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 7 Post(s)
Like VM said, you don't need permission if you have SOLE legal custody. That's what I have and simply brought my divorce decree when I got DS' passport. Easy peasy.

Mom to DD heartbeat.gif (04.21.13)   DS blahblah.gif (8 years old) and DSD energy.gif(10 years old) and 2 dog2.gif and 2cat.gif
Kate&Joey is online now  
#6 of 12 Old 01-30-2014, 07:39 AM
 
Kate&Joey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 396
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 7 Post(s)
Also,both parents don't have to appear in person. Your EX could sign a form and have it notarized that he grants permission. Do you have an email address for him?

I know how hard it is to initiate contact though when the other parent disappears. I haven't heard from DS' bio dad in over 2 years.

Mom to DD heartbeat.gif (04.21.13)   DS blahblah.gif (8 years old) and DSD energy.gif(10 years old) and 2 dog2.gif and 2cat.gif
Kate&Joey is online now  
#7 of 12 Old 01-30-2014, 10:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
thatgirliknew's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Louisville, KY
Posts: 522
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I have residential/physical custody; we share legal custody. I can't afford to get it changed at this point. Technically he still has the right to visitation every other weekend. However, when I got the restraining order, he was told by the judge that HE needed to initiate a court date so that the judge in KY (we did the restraining order in IN, but I now live in KY again) could decide first off if he should still have visitation rights and secondly to determine how those visitation rights would be exercised since there is a no contact order in place and we have no family to facilitate the exchange. Ex-H was told this in April, it's Feb now and he hasn't initiated the case yet.


Single mama to DS8 and DD4. Feminist. Queer. Atheist. Poly. Full-time poli sci and econ student.
thatgirliknew is online now  
#8 of 12 Old 01-30-2014, 06:30 PM
 
VocalMinority's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: surrounded by testosterone
Posts: 1,306
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by thatgirliknew View Post
 

I have residential/physical custody; we share legal custody. I can't afford to get it changed at this point. Technically he still has the right to visitation every other weekend. However, when I got the restraining order, he was told by the judge that HE needed to initiate a court date so that the judge in KY (we did the restraining order in IN, but I now live in KY again) could decide first off if he should still have visitation rights and secondly to determine how those visitation rights would be exercised since there is a no contact order in place and we have no family to facilitate the exchange. Ex-H was told this in April, it's Feb now and he hasn't initiated the case yet.

I have never been involved with family court in KY, only IN.  Here, I'd avise that if you're not currently represented by an atty, that you file a pro se petition - either for the court's permission to get a passport for your child since your ex won't respond about it; or to get sole legal custody because his failure to exercise his legal rights is impeding you from getting a passport (and more importantly, it could cause dire problems if your child needed a major medical procedure and you couldn't reach the father, for his consent).  You might qualify for a filing fee waiver, if your income is low enough.  You could request that, if you follow the proper procedures to serve notice to your ex (sending a copy of your pleading by certified mail to his last known address and taking out a classified ad in the newspaper of the last known city where he resided) - and he fails to file a response with the court in 30 days - that the judge issue a written ruling without a hearing.  You would then attach to your pleading a pre-written ruling with the result you would like, which the judge could sign if he saw fit.  Your circumstances are one of the exact scenarios where courts find it reasonable to assign sole legal custody to the primary custodian.

 

Oh, oh - allow me to clarify:  I am not an attorney, thus you are not getting sound legal advice from an attorney.  I am a parent who has handled family law matters for myself without an attorney and I'm married to a man who has done the same, for himself.  My advice is based on our personal experiences, nothing more.


One woman in a house full of men:  my soul mate:    or... twin sons:(HS seniors) ... step-son:  (a sophomore) ... our little man:   (a first grader) ... and there is another female in the house, after all:  our
VocalMinority is online now  
#9 of 12 Old 01-30-2014, 07:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
thatgirliknew's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Louisville, KY
Posts: 522
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I will definitely look into what you have suggested! Thank you very much!


Single mama to DS8 and DD4. Feminist. Queer. Atheist. Poly. Full-time poli sci and econ student.
thatgirliknew is online now  
#10 of 12 Old 02-05-2014, 02:11 PM
 
thecoolmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 17
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm new here but I have a question about this as well. If I wasn't married to my son's father and he isn't on the birth certificate and has never seen the child, doesn't that automatically give me sole custody? Would I be able to get my son a passport without his consent?
thecoolmom is offline  
#11 of 12 Old 02-05-2014, 07:11 PM
 
greenemami's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: PA
Posts: 1,770
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 9 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by KLarkin View Post

I'm new here but I have a question about this as well. If I wasn't married to my son's father and he isn't on the birth certificate and has never seen the child, doesn't that automatically give me sole custody? Would I be able to get my son a passport without his consent?

I'm pretty sure that yes, since you are the only one on the bc, you are the only legal parent and have sole custody so you don't need his consent. 


Single mama namaste.gif to dd dust.gifand ds fencing.gif, loving my dsd always reading.gif .
greenemami is online now  
#12 of 12 Old 02-05-2014, 07:36 PM
 
VocalMinority's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: surrounded by testosterone
Posts: 1,306
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by greenemami View Post
 

I'm pretty sure that yes, since you are the only one on the bc, you are the only legal parent and have sole custody so you don't need his consent. 

I, too, am nearly certain this is true.  He would have to file a paternity suit, to establish parental rights.


One woman in a house full of men:  my soul mate:    or... twin sons:(HS seniors) ... step-son:  (a sophomore) ... our little man:   (a first grader) ... and there is another female in the house, after all:  our
VocalMinority is online now  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off