Can someone convince me to get my child support modified? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 01-28-2014, 07:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
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So I have been divorced for almost 15 months. Just before the divorce xdh started a new job, a managers position. So his child support is based on his old income of 98K. Last year he made 180K and this year he said he has made 225K. I have known about the increase but been hesitant to try for a modification for many reasons, such as pride and the fact that he is consistently paying me every month and I am afraid to poke the bear. He was occasionally physically abusive and mostly emotionally abusive so I hate still depending on him and I can pay all my basic bills but my debt has doubled due to college classes. I am also not able to comfortably afford childcare when I need it for things like interviews, tests for college courses which is not often and when xdh goes on vacations and I need a babysitter for a 'break because he doesn't have them on his parenting time'. So can someone give me a reason to go forward with this? I tried the all law calculator and it doesn't even calculate for such a massive income he is making. The most I saw was a 10K a month=120K a year income and it has him as paying 1365$ a month, right now he is paying 1125$ a month. He has helped me in the past with things like bday parties and buying school clothes but since I am dating someone now I feel like he is not giving me that extra money we had agreed on rather than going back to court. My state has a very specific formula for child support so I doubt if I can just ask for 800$ extra, if the formula says he needs to give me more or less (more likely it would be 1300$ or more) that is what is decided. 

 

I am also unsure on how to go about going back for a modificaiton. I see the papers online, but I cannot get his w-2's so is that something the court will petition him for? 


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#2 of 4 Old 01-28-2014, 05:23 PM
 
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If you need to be convinced I can give you an argument: the child support is to make sure your child has a standard of living that is equitable to any future children you or your XH might have. It is unconscionable that a child's father is basically in the top one percent of the country income-wise, yet the child is living in a household that has increasing debt and can barely afford childcare. 

 

If your XH was emotionally abusive it is probably very hard to think of asking him for something. That's one of the effects of emotional abuse, to have a hard time considering one's own needs important.

 

Check your state laws about revisiting child support. In my state, child support can be redetermined every three years, or whenever there is a significant change in circumstances, and the division of social services has a child support department that deals with support issues and enforcement.

 

Do it.  

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#3 of 4 Old 01-30-2014, 04:15 AM
 
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Yes, please do it. If you were still together your child would be benefiting from his increased salary and legally your child is entitled to increased support now that dad is earning more money. It isn't you asking for greater support for yourself, it is you asking for appropriate increased support to care for your child. I understand how hard it can be to ask for it, especially with someone who was in any way abusive, but you can do this. Those amounts also sound very low for such a high income. I would check with a lawyer to confirm the amount your children are entitled to.

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#4 of 4 Old 01-30-2014, 04:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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There is some type of formula they used in my state to figure the child support I had a lawyer at the time all the support was figured. I am not working so there are no childcare expenses(which makes it lower) and I get alimony as well. I have found all the papers and am a little confused how to do it, but it is probably my head cold. I am going to call the child support enforcement tomorrow or monday and ask a few questions and get the papers filled out and a hearing date set up. Pretty sure I am looking at double, doing the math, my state will consider after 10% increase and 225K is over 100% so yeah it is definitely needed they also automatically review after 3 years, but that will be another 1.5 years away so I don't want to risk waiting and suffering financially in the mean time. But alas, I am super stressed about it because it feels like the divorce again...Hopefully come august i will have a teaching job and with that and the increase in child support I will be doing just fine financially and be able to care for the kids and let them do the activities more that they want to do.

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