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Going through a divorce!!

645 views 2 replies 3 participants last post by  sillysapling 
#1 ·
I'm in the process of going through a divorce. My little girl is 19 months old and is showing signs of distress. Her and I have moved into a new home and she won't let me out of her site. She cries if I walk out of room and constantly want to be picked up. She has had an upset tummy for weeks and I don't know if this is due to stress (she's going to the paeditrician on Thursday) . On top of that I've moved her from a cot into a bed as a sleep trainer said it was unnecessary to buy another cot at this stage. She won't go to bed unless I lie with her until she falls asleep and she wakes up frequently in the night. I feel like such a failure as a mom because I don't know what to do to help her and my ex's family are being so judgemental on everything I am doing wrong. Has anyone else been through this? Any advice?
 
#3 ·
Agreed, that sounds very normal, especially for a little kid going through such big changes. She's just had a lot of stability uprooted- now she needs reassurance that she won't lose you. Do your best to give her that reassurance. I know how frustrating it can be, especially when you have things you need to do that can't be done with a small child clinging to you, but the more reassurance you can give her the sooner she'll feel better. Is bed-sharing an option? Or would it be possible to move her bed into your room if it isn't already there? It may help her feel more secure and cut down on the night wakings. It's not a bad idea to see the pediatrician just in case, but I imagine that it'll just turn out to be stress. Are you comfortable giving her chamomile tea (you'll probably want to water it down)? It can calm her nerves and settle her stomach. If you're nursing, you could also drink the tea and the calming effects will get to her- and you get the benefits of it as well.

Try to find ways to take care of yourself and reduce your own stress, I'm sure she's picking up on any stress you're feeling as well as dealing with her own worries. You're going through a very difficult time and ti sounds like you're getting some really bad messages. You aren't a bad mother. You aren't a failure. Ignore your ex's family if they only care about tearing you down. Can you get any support from your own family? What about any friends nearby?
 
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