When did you get divorced? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 16 Old 04-11-2014, 10:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Assuming you were married, and are now officially divorced, how long did you wait (or your ex)?  Was there any reason for the time frame?  How long did it take from the time you (or they) filed, until it was official?  


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#2 of 16 Old 04-12-2014, 07:30 AM
 
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We separated in May '13, filed in August '13 and finalized March '14. That's just how long it took to get it done, I did all the paperwork pro se by myself and had to go to court 3 times to get the paperwork checked.


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#3 of 16 Old 04-12-2014, 09:51 AM
 
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He moved out in July '07 but we didn't file until Feb '11. The process takes at least 6 mo here (6 mo waiting period from time of filing). We waited to legally divorce because were mostly amicable and he was paying me pretty close to the correct child & spousal support and I could stay on his health insurance. He didn't even ask about it until he started dating someone.


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#4 of 16 Old 04-12-2014, 03:05 PM
 
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I got divorced in 2003, when my youngest was 21 days old. I was pregnant when we split. I threw him out in June, and filed in August. I only waited that long because I was so pregnant that taking my older child anywhere was a huge hassle, so I would combine several trips into one. I waited until I had a doctor's appointment near the courthouse and dropped the paperwork off then. 

 

From the day I filed to the day it was final was two and a half months. But he was in jail, so it made everything super easy.

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#5 of 16 Old 04-14-2014, 01:28 PM
 
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I filed for divorce in late February / early March.  XH officially moved out about a week later (he did some stupid things that delayed his leaving...I was extremely annoyed by his antics) and left the state where we lived.  We were officially divorced almost exactly a year later.  He refused to acknowledge any of the legal proceedings.  I had to have him served.  Then I had to schedule a court date since he wouldn't respond to my attorney's draft divorce agreements.  I was granted full custody of DS, child support, and a lump sum payment since he didn't attend the hearing.  


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#6 of 16 Old 04-14-2014, 01:32 PM
 
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That is crazy. Did you ever hear from him again?
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#7 of 16 Old 04-14-2014, 01:37 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Springshowers View Post

That is crazy. Did you ever hear from him again?

 

@Springshowers  - do you mean me?


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#8 of 16 Old 04-14-2014, 01:48 PM
 
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Yes sorry it wasn't clear.
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#9 of 16 Old 04-14-2014, 02:09 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Springshowers View Post

That is crazy. Did you ever hear from him again?

 

Yes, it is crazy.  We divorced three years ago and he has seen DS twice since it was official.  He paid CS for a while, but was always behind and now hasn't paid in going on three years.  He hasn't spoken to DS (or responded to my texts or emails) in over two years.  

 

It is all quite bizarre.  He was a stay-at-home dad for over a year after DS was born.  It is really disheartening that he abandoned his only child and thinks he can "opt out" of parenting.


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#10 of 16 Old 04-14-2014, 02:59 PM
 
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I can hardly imagine someone choosing to do that. That is so terrible. So hard to imagine why he would do that.

It had been a year for me since separation and we still don't have an agreed written plan. I can't get divorced until that happens. He is very involved though and I think he will remain so.
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#11 of 16 Old 04-15-2014, 11:58 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Springshowers View Post

I can hardly imagine someone choosing to do that. That is so terrible. So hard to imagine why he would do that.

It had been a year for me since separation and we still don't have an agreed written plan. I can't get divorced until that happens. He is very involved though and I think he will remain so.

 

No one can imagine it. His family is disgusted by him.  I'm trying to gain 'good karma' points and I facilitate a relationship between DS and his bio-dad's family.  He spends some holidays and summer time with them.  I have made it very clear that his bio-dad is not to be present though.

 

@Springshowers  - Why can't you guys agree?  Won't the judge decide if the two of you can't agree?  You can't stay like that forever?!


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#12 of 16 Old 04-15-2014, 08:59 PM
 
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I booted ex out on the evening of 3rd July 2009 and filed for divorce the following week. The divorce was finalized on April 10th 2012 I think. Ex was a real ass, we were in and out of court frequently, and he would miss court dates, even called the Judge one day to cancel the appearance! He missed about 3 mediation dates, and his 4th attorney has requested to be released from representing him. It was a total nightmare! We are still in court as he still ignores court orders, refusing to pay medical costs.
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#13 of 16 Old 04-18-2014, 03:29 AM
 
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We started discussing divorce in Aug 2013. XH was planning to leave the country this February regardless of whether or not we stayed married, so I wanted everything done before then. I filed for divorce in the first week of December, and the court hearing was 3 weeks later. The divorce was finalized this January. It all happened so quickly. I consulted a lawyer to ensure there wouldn't be any delays. 


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#14 of 16 Old 04-18-2014, 04:40 AM
 
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I told him I wanted a separation in feb 07. He refused to leave so we were separated and living in the same house until September. We filed in August and it was final right after Christmas.


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#15 of 16 Old 04-18-2014, 09:03 AM
 
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When did I get divorced?.....as quickly as possible!  It took over a year to get things finalized, more or less.  I like to finish what I start, lol.

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#16 of 16 Old 04-18-2014, 11:51 AM
 
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I filed in October 2013. We continued living together for four months because XH didn't see the need to leave, and since I was only working part time because I did most of the child care (DS isn't in school full time yet) I didn't have the money to leave.

 

The mediator recognized this situation was untenable so she pushed everything through quickly in January. The kids and I moved out at the end of that month, divorce decree, parenting plan, and child support in hand.

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