New Here.. Divorce In Near Future - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 04-13-2014, 06:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi everyone! I joined this site because it seems pretty active with single moms and I think I'll need the support soon.

 

I'm 25 with a 3 year old daughter. My husband and I have been married for five years. It's been rough for the past four. We have officially agreed that divorce needs to happen because I am so unhappy with him. Long story short, I fell out of love a while ago with him not treating me like he should and never got those feelings back.

 

Anyways, I look forward to getting to know the members of this board!

 

-Lynn

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#2 of 6 Old 04-14-2014, 07:08 AM
 
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Unfortunately, he's not the one who controls where you live. The court may decide that you can't move, because it would make his relationship with your daughter very difficult. You'll have to have an excellent plan in place to allow him some long vacations with her to make up for the inability to do an every other weekend visitation schedule. 

 

I understand your desire to get away from where you are, but it might not be an option for you, so if I were you, I would start working on some alternate plans for staying where you are. Maybe you could move out of the city of Detroit and into a smaller suburb area? 

 

Another option: Does he have the option to move as well? If you could persuade him to move south as well, that would help. One thing to keep in mind, however, is that if you don't divorce in MI before you move, you would have to wait either 6 months or a year (can't remember which it is right now; I live in FL) before you'd meet the residency requirement to divorce in FL. 

 

Otherwise, you may be stuck. If the father adamantly opposes the move, most judges aren't going to approve it. 

 

Good luck!

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#3 of 6 Old 04-14-2014, 07:23 AM
 
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The courts are likely to side with the parent who is staying, especially if both parents have been an active part of the child's life. In my case, I was able to move away with the consent of my ex, but only by giving up pretty much all non-school time (i.e. All vacations) with my oldest two boys. The last time I spent Christmas Day with my oldest two was in 2005 greensad.gif. That said, your best bet is to consult with an attorney who specializes in move away agreements. That person will advise you on what is customary in your area, and how to proceed if you cannot convince your ex to allow you to move with your DD. Best of luck!
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Tabitha ~ devoted wife to my best friend Stephen ribbonyellow.gif and gentle Christian mom to six DSs: notes.gif E - 2/09/00REPlaySkateboard04HL.gifA - 3/05/03superhero.gifA- 6/05/06 guitar.gif H- 2/07/08 jog.gif J - 11/14/10 bouncy.gif T - 8/23/12 + stork-suprise.gif due 9/20/14!  brokenheart.gif DD Janae 10/19/09 angel2.gif
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#4 of 6 Old 04-18-2014, 09:07 AM
 
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I'm sorry, OP.  That sucks to have a marriage/hopes/dreams ending, and dealing with a controlling partner.  I agree it's unlikely a court would allow you to move without good reason....so I second the advice to consult a lawyer who specializes in mobility cases and who can give you a realistic idea of what to expect.  Be prepared that if he is controlling now, it almost always escalates during divorce proceedings (e.g. a previously uninvolved parent will go after 50/50 or full custody as a way to maintain some power over you).  I hope it isn't like that for you, but it's best to hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst.

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#5 of 6 Old 04-18-2014, 09:09 AM
 
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I would also guard your privacy too if entering legal proceedings - he could see your posts online, so I wouldn't use your real name or a photo.  This forum can be googled and viewed by the general public.

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#6 of 6 Old 04-20-2014, 07:35 PM
 
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What Alpenglow said here is very true. This is exactly what happened in my case. The courts did not at all care that my ex had been a completely uninvolved father (and we had a summer sitter willing to testify to that), the custody evaluator gave 50/50 parenting time since he wanted it and had convinced (i.e. brainwashed) the kids into saying it was fair. The custody evaluator that my ex required even admitted in his report that our sons had been pressured by their father. shake.gif My ex in fact went for 100% legal custody  and 80% parenting time despite not even knowing their birthdays.  I did get legal custody.

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