Hi everyone! I joined this site because it seems pretty active with single moms and I think I'll need the support soon.
I'm 25 with a 3 year old daughter. My husband and I have been married for five years. It's been rough for the past four. We have officially agreed that divorce needs to happen because I am so unhappy with him. Long story short, I fell out of love a while ago with him not treating me like he should and never got those feelings back.
Anyways, I look forward to getting to know the members of this board!
Unfortunately, he's not the one who controls where you live. The court may decide that you can't move, because it would make his relationship with your daughter very difficult. You'll have to have an excellent plan in place to allow him some long vacations with her to make up for the inability to do an every other weekend visitation schedule.
I understand your desire to get away from where you are, but it might not be an option for you, so if I were you, I would start working on some alternate plans for staying where you are. Maybe you could move out of the city of Detroit and into a smaller suburb area?
Another option: Does he have the option to move as well? If you could persuade him to move south as well, that would help. One thing to keep in mind, however, is that if you don't divorce in MI before you move, you would have to wait either 6 months or a year (can't remember which it is right now; I live in FL) before you'd meet the residency requirement to divorce in FL.
Otherwise, you may be stuck. If the father adamantly opposes the move, most judges aren't going to approve it.
I'm sorry, OP. That sucks to have a marriage/hopes/dreams ending, and dealing with a controlling partner. I agree it's unlikely a court would allow you to move without good reason....so I second the advice to consult a lawyer who specializes in mobility cases and who can give you a realistic idea of what to expect. Be prepared that if he is controlling now, it almost always escalates during divorce proceedings (e.g. a previously uninvolved parent will go after 50/50 or full custody as a way to maintain some power over you). I hope it isn't like that for you, but it's best to hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst.
I would also guard your privacy too if entering legal proceedings - he could see your posts online, so I wouldn't use your real name or a photo. This forum can be googled and viewed by the general public.
What Alpenglow said here is very true. This is exactly what happened in my case. The courts did not at all care that my ex had been a completely uninvolved father (and we had a summer sitter willing to testify to that), the custody evaluator gave 50/50 parenting time since he wanted it and had convinced (i.e. brainwashed) the kids into saying it was fair. The custody evaluator that my ex required even admitted in his report that our sons had been pressured by their father. My ex in fact went for 100% legal custody and 80% parenting time despite not even knowing their birthdays. I did get legal custody.