It's normal. You had an idea for the kind of family you wanted, and now that's changed and it wasn't your idea to change it. It's normal to mourn the loss of that, and to resent your ex for being the one who forced it on you.
I homeschool as well. I wonder if there's a way you could still homeschool and work? I work from home, on my own schedule, so I have it pretty easy in that regard, but I know others who work and homeschool, although I admit they are married so that probably makes it easier. But maybe you could give some thought to how you would go about working and homeschooling and see if you could come up with a way to make it work? If you can, that might help you feel like you haven't lost all of that dream that you had.