Coping with the loss of a (once) good dad
I was married for 8 years to a man I was head over heels in love with... he was an amazing, attached father and my best friend.
When our 3rd child was still a baby, he started an affair with a very scary woman and our family was blown apart. I think drugs played a part here though I have no proof.
The cops/cps/ legal system did very little as my children and I were assaulted and abused by this person we loved so dearly. I did everything I could, including sign away child support because he told me if I did he'd leave us alone.
Then one day after yet another court appearance he did leave us alone. No more terrifying visitations, no more horrible calls and emails. He disappeared, and nobody in his family has heard from him in over a year.
I keep waiting for him to pop up and turn our lives into a nightmare again. Or pop up and be his old self again. I can't imagine a man who loved his children so much just disappearing. It just feels so creepy, to be in the middle of a typhoon then suddenly... nothing.
I live 8 hours away from him now but I have nightmares about him at least once a week. I have no idea what he might do. Maybe he doesn't think about me at all. It just made NO sense what happened, none of the things they did made any sense at all, and I'm still in a tailspin trying to stay on my toes for my kids sake.
For the kids part, they seem to love him and miss him and hate him and fear him. I don't know what to tell them, besides their dad has always loved them from the moment they were born, but he just can't take care of them like they deserve right now. This is certainly not anything I thought would happen to me or my family and it's a hard pill to swallow sometimes.
I guess I just wanted to connect with others who might understand where I'm coming from, because it's late and I'm yet again sitting here creeped out and confused. I suppose nobody can tell me he's gone for good and will leave us alone, but I wish it was so!