How did you know when it was time to leave? - Mothering Forums

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Old 07-07-2014, 09:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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How did you know when it was time to leave?

I've been with the father of my child (and I am expecting as well), for nearly six years now. In a lot of ways we are really well suited and "get" each other. But we also have a history of issues that we can't seem to resolve, and I feel like my energy is just getting sucked out of me, to the point where I'm so distraught over the state of our relationship that it's hard for me to go about my daily life. I also don't like the relationship example we are setting for our young son.

I recently learned that there's a term for some of his behavior, Passive Aggressive. He is withholding in a couple different (major) ways, and it makes me feel crazy. I feel like we really do have love there, but we just can't seem to make things work. He is against breaking up so it would be me pursuing things. I have literally nothing to my name, but I think I would qualify for some social services temporarily while I get on my feet (I do have a tentative plan if and when I leave, and I feel like I would be okay long term ).

I feel dumb for staying so long, in some ways, and in other ways I feel like things could be worked out, but then he always says how he wants to resolves things but then doesn't follow through...

Anyway. Enough of my ramblings. How did YOU know it was time to go?
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Old 07-07-2014, 11:40 AM
 
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When you feel that you can not take it any more - it is time to leave. when you feel exausted, empty inside, when you feel that your life is going not the way you wanted...it is time to live. if you want to change your life..it is time to live. I was in relations for long time. There was love, but also were lots of issues we could not solve. I undertood that only love can't make relations to work. There are many more things that should be beween you in relations except of love. So i left. It was one of the best decision i made in my life. I met my husband in 1 year. In 1 year we got married and now i am happy. If you already have planned your life without this person in the future, it means you are ready to leave.
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Old 07-10-2014, 02:32 PM
 
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Only you'll truly *know* when it is time to go. Listen to your instinct's, listen to your head and listen to your heart. I *knew* when it was time to go when I realized I was far happier without him....granted our relationship had turned emotionally, verbally and a one time physically abusive moment, but I have struggled for months on what to do. Especially because he wants to make it work and parts of me really wanted to make it work too but in the end, I've realized I'm far happier and have so much more clarity without him. I'm far happier and in return my kiddo's are so much happier.
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