Originally Posted by Springshowers
Doesn't jurisdiction change once you have been away a certain period of time? Maybe waiting until you can do the custody agreement in your new state is the way to go?
It's been 10 months now in the new state; 8 months on an NC license and documentation. My lawyer friend was concerned when we spoke in the spring that while I'd moved and had power-bills and such, the license would be the determining factor. Either way, now it's been 8 months with a license, so we should be good on having NC jurisdiction.
Which is a benefit to me in both directions:
If I file, HE would have to come here for mediation/waive mediation/find alternative means to sign legal documents in front of a judge (if the latter is even possible, and my lawyer friend was unsure if NC would allow that out of state)
If He files in Oregon, jurisdiction is still NC so even though the paperwork starts in OR, it'd be moved immediately to my county in NC and all of the above on his requirements.
So, yay for me.
Except.. as SillySapling brought up... the benefit to Self-Prepared is because we're two parties working together, and in our case... I don't think so. #1
, he won't talk to me; won't respond to my texts/calls/facebook/emails, etc. No Communication what so ever.
Now, granted, I have not brought up this issue of "I'm filing for custody and I think we could go about it amicably if you'd talk to me".. Maybe if/when I start the conversation, he'll respond. But I'm not holding my breath.
AND I'm not counting on his agreeing to any terms that don't require me to bring our child out to Oregon 2x a year. I mean, if given the chance to fight me on it, I think he'd fight.
Right now he'll stay passive-aggressively silent, living vicarious through his mothers connection to me and Facebook pictures, but If Given the Chance... I think he'll fight.
Which brings it back around cyclical to... Why do I care again? XP is in Oregon and doesn't have any money, nor is that changing. He will not be coming 2500 miles away to pick our son up from school unannounced.
So if my only concern is the headache of schools and MDs and, oh I can only imagine, all release forms for any school activities for the next 13yrs... I mean, that's HUGE and big and very important.
But is it enough to start the battle?
On that only, probably not.
Considering when I take our son to OR for a visit and leave him in his father's custody for 2hrs/4 days, whatever, and I don't have a custody agreement that ensures he will Bring Him Back, even though I trust him, or think I do, even if...
well, that might be big enough to warrant the battle.
I'm just not sure yet.
I know the simple answer is just.... call him/write an email and Talk to him about it, see what happens. But I really don't want to start this ball rolling without knowing exactly what I'm looking at.