My original thought here was... Help me on cancelling my order.
but I realized.. I don't care so much about my issue. I know my issue.
I want to be reminded WHY child-support is out there; what our needs are as single parents. Yes, I'm looking for definition on why I do it, and why I shouldn't cancel it... but I need to get back to fundamentals of why this is even in play. Especially for absentee parents out state. And I want to hear your input.. Why do you require an order for your Ex? Especially if they are distant?
I'm considering cancelling because:
I have all these reasons to cancel, BUT
... no matter the reason, or excuse, I still maintain that HE IS THE FATHER.
And he is Choosing not to work; and Choosing not to participate; and Choosing not to do XYZ.
Yet he CHOSE to become in a committed relationship with me for years and buy a house and play house and talk about kiddos and have "oh maybe we'll get pregnant, yay!" sex and be there for every moment of pregnancy and delivery and cut cords and be there in home for 18months before he left and still his son carries his name...
I still feel like he should pay a bit. Just a stipend, to afford the life that is our son. Even if we moved across the country - to which he never contested.
So I have reasons to get rid of this order, because it's now 25K+ in arrears. And he'll never pay. And it's financially hurting his parents. Maybe I should just make it all go away...
But I go back to.. why do YOU have a child support order.
Because I need some reminders of why this order is even in place. There is a reason for this system and it's because Parents Should Be Parents for their kids... even when they can't be active, for whatever reason, they take financial responsibility for their spawn.
Should be cut and dry.
And in my heart, should be an easy thing. Except when it's not.
And also offsides... IF I were to cancel the "order", do the arrears still maintain? IF he were to ever get a job, which is unlikely, but IF, would the lien on his taxes still be? Or do I have to keep the order active for the provisions to be active?
but I realized.. I don't care so much about my issue. I know my issue.
I want to be reminded WHY child-support is out there; what our needs are as single parents. Yes, I'm looking for definition on why I do it, and why I shouldn't cancel it... but I need to get back to fundamentals of why this is even in play. Especially for absentee parents out state. And I want to hear your input.. Why do you require an order for your Ex? Especially if they are distant?
I'm considering cancelling because:
- We live out of state
- He's never called his son in 18months
- He doesn't pay anyway until threats to take his license
- His Parents pay
- I make too much money, it'll almost be Zero'ed out anyway in the next few months.
I have all these reasons to cancel, BUT
... no matter the reason, or excuse, I still maintain that HE IS THE FATHER.
And he is Choosing not to work; and Choosing not to participate; and Choosing not to do XYZ.
Yet he CHOSE to become in a committed relationship with me for years and buy a house and play house and talk about kiddos and have "oh maybe we'll get pregnant, yay!" sex and be there for every moment of pregnancy and delivery and cut cords and be there in home for 18months before he left and still his son carries his name...
I still feel like he should pay a bit. Just a stipend, to afford the life that is our son. Even if we moved across the country - to which he never contested.
So I have reasons to get rid of this order, because it's now 25K+ in arrears. And he'll never pay. And it's financially hurting his parents. Maybe I should just make it all go away...
But I go back to.. why do YOU have a child support order.
Because I need some reminders of why this order is even in place. There is a reason for this system and it's because Parents Should Be Parents for their kids... even when they can't be active, for whatever reason, they take financial responsibility for their spawn.
Should be cut and dry.
And in my heart, should be an easy thing. Except when it's not.
And also offsides... IF I were to cancel the "order", do the arrears still maintain? IF he were to ever get a job, which is unlikely, but IF, would the lien on his taxes still be? Or do I have to keep the order active for the provisions to be active?