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Stuck in a horrible nesting arrangement. Need advice!

2K views 5 replies 4 participants last post by  JuneBrown 
#1 · (Edited)
Hello all! This is my first post.

I am not a troll. I think it's important for me to state that because over time I will be sharing my issues for which I need advice occasionally and I don't want you guys to be wondering if I making stuff up. But I really got me a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde kind of crazy X.

Anyway, moving on....

BACK STORY:
X lives in USA. I live in Canada with our only 2 year old child.
X rarely visited. Part of the reason we are no longer together. There are many other parts also.

FAST FORWARD:
I recently got a temporary court order stating that I have exclusive possession of our 2 br condo except for alternate weekends which is when I have to find other accommodation. These are the times X is visiting. I know for a fact that he doesn't stay there because rarely anything in the house moves. There is no extra garbage. Not even a toy moves from 1 angle to a different angle. X doesn't stay there because he is unable to look after the child alone. He always needs someone there with him.

I don't have any family or friends (thanks to X) whom I can stay with every other weekend.

I am a full time student for a few more months. So I don't have income. Right now I can pay for a guest suite AT the condo building because I am currently doing a co-op term which provides me with a small stipend. I have work experience and this time schooling is strictly for upgrading my skill set.

This term is over of 2 months. The temporary court order is also over at that time. What are my options?

1) Tell the judge that X should set up camp at his dad's (or mom's) house for him and the child;
2) ;Try to get welfare and move out on my own with child. (We did not discuss custody yet);
3) Offer to buy this sh*ty condo from X when I get a job and in meantime sleep in my car on those alternate weekends;
4) Suck it up and move with child to my parents' or friends' by promising them it's temporary until I get a job and hope that they accept;
5) Quit school now and get any job (I only have 3 months left of school after the co-op term ends)

Please help!
 
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#2 ·
I would go with one for now. Although it might be more politic to *ask* the judge rather than telling him/her ;-) I assume you have been documenting his failure ms to visit/stay in the apartment.

Once you have finished school and have a job then you will be in a better position to decide whether you want to stay and buy your ex out or sell and find somewhere new etc.

If you can move in with your parents or friends (option 4) could you not stay with them on the alternate weekends when your ex has possession?


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#3 ·
I would go with one for now. Although it might be more politic to *ask* the judge rather than telling him/her ;-) I assume you have been documenting his failure ms to visit/stay in the apartment.

Once you have finished school and have a job then you will be in a better position to decide whether you want to stay and buy your ex out or sell and find somewhere new etc.

If you can move in with your parents or friends (option 4) could you not stay with them on the alternate weekends when your ex has possession?

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Hi thanks!

I could try to find someone who'd take me in regularly but the chances are slim. The only reason I put #1 option there is because X does not live in the home when he's here. So instead of me having to relocate every other weekend and leaving the house completely empty, I should just be able to stay there. I can also do more chores, and not to mention, the food rots over 3 days (because no one is there to eat it!) So I'd have to transport myself + the food every single time. And it's just raw stuff so I'd have to find somewhere to cook it. :frown:

I can't wait to be done with school. I was REALLY excited about upgrading myself and really enjoyed my classes but the excitement is all gone now.
 
#4 ·
If your ex has somewhere convenient to stay and you do not, yes, I would absolutely ask the judge to change the arrangement so you have exclusive use all of the time. I don't think it can hurt to ask! Maybe offer to do more of the transportation to sweeten the deal if you think that would help? Do you think ex would argue about it just to give you a hard time or would he not care since he's not using the house anyway?
 
#5 ·
Greenmami, he's making my life difficult. He cares very little about the son. We TRIED to talk during one of our drop-offs/pick-ups in the condo lobby and he publicly shamed me! Then he apologized on text msg but repeated this the very next day! He cannot focus at all about talking about the son. So there's no saying what he will do next.

I have to see my lawyer tomorrow and I'll tell you what he says. Everyone's baffled at this time.
 
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