Problems with ex and child support - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Thread Tools
#1 of 4 Old 07-12-2002, 11:46 AM - Thread Starter
oceansmama's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 46
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have been divorced for 2 years now and have had physical custody of my now 5 1/2 year old son for 1 year. The ex and I have joint legal. The whole deal is he pays me child support once a week. He hands me the check because we live close by but in two different states.
I agreed to let our son go on a 3 week vacation to see the ex's family, but in the agreement, I told him he needed to continue the child support. I have not recieved anything from him and its been 2 weeks. He is back to his home and our ds is still out visiting and will be back in another week.
I spoke with my lawyer and he told me to write a letter telling the ex to get with it or we will take him to court. So I sent it yesterday and now will wait to hear from him.
Thing is, he knows what buttons to push with me, and I have always been the non assertive one. NOt any more! I am so tired of this happening.
My new boyfriend, whom I am expecting a child with, is very upset with all this. I am almost 8 months pregnant though and really not looking forward to a court date and the stress. I guess I am just looking for some support and love from you, who are strangers, but have been there I am sure.
Thanks for listening,
due 9/16
oceansmama is offline  
#2 of 4 Old 07-12-2002, 01:26 PM
Greenfrogs's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 402
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

I feel you pain and annoyance. I just wanted to say that hang in there and follow through with what it takes to get the child support no matter how much of an a.... he is. He is probably withholding the CS in order to feel in some sort of control. Remind him that the money is to help raise your son. My father refused to pay child support because he felt it help my mom not us. Which meant we went with out a lot of necessities. If the stress is to much for you immediately take it slow by be consistant.

Sending good thought your way.
Greenfrogs is offline  
#3 of 4 Old 07-12-2002, 01:37 PM - Thread Starter
oceansmama's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 46
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thank you greenfrogs... it does get hard when these things happen. And you are right, my ds's father does think I use all the money for me. I was actually planning to use of the checks for the 3 weeks just to put towards clothes for the new school year. If I don't get them, I don't have any extra money to do that with. Its like he is trying to punish me, but our ds will be the one that gets the raw end of the deal with these games...
oceansmama is offline  
#4 of 4 Old 07-12-2002, 08:24 PM
MamaLuna's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: In the mountains by the shores.
Posts: 158
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm there. I know how you're feeling. My ex actually owes for about 2 years worth of cs. But he's recently figured out that I (legally) can't/won't withold visitation, so he's not making a lick of effort to pay anything. The csed is even supposed to be on his case, but they aren't doing a *bleeping* thing about it. I am currently in the process of changing our parenting plan and my lawyer is going to go after the cs too....yeah!!!!! my problem is the guilt trips I get from my ex and from my ex and his wife think I am trying to ruin their life, and I know they don't have the $$ (my dd told me that they don't have a car right now even?!)...but that's not my problem, so I'm done being nice about it................
anyways, I'm sorry to go off about my own cs problems, guess it's a pretty sore spot right now.....
Yes, you have to be tough and fight it or he will con't to push your buttons. It is all about power, control and testing you. You need to show him that he is out of line.
The hardest part for me going thru this is to not let the anger, frustration, and worry run my life and my relationship w/ my dh. I just keep hoping and praying for the best for my dd, and know that we are all going thru this for her sake. And I try to take it one day at a time and only deal w/ what is right in front of me...
Hope this helps...keep us posted!
MamaLuna is offline  

Quick Reply
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off