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#1 of 251 Old 11-10-2004, 11:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
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After reading Brusselsprout's thread on dating a custodial single dad and seeing some other dating/relationship threads floating around the board, I thought it was high time we reinstituted the famous "dating thread".

So.... dish the dirt, mamas!

Details on the man, the dates, how the relationship is going, ask questions, vent etc......

I'll start.

The guy:

"W" is 42, a firefighter/real estate broker who is divorced with 3 children: 19 (boy - away at college), 16 (boy), and 2 (girl - oops baby). He works 48 hours on, then four days off, and has his DD with him for three days/two nights of the off time. A co-worker introduced us as she thought we'd enjoy each other's company. We have so much in common - like the same athletic pursuits, the same books, the same music, the same faith, share a love of lifelong learning and academia (he's a former med student who became a paramedic instead when he couldn't afford med school), same strong family orientation, etc. He's very kind and considerate, and he treats me with care and respect. He is a gentle dad to his DD as well (haven't seen him with his older kids yet, but I'm not worried).

The Dates

We've been seeing each other now for about 5 weeks, not long, but it's looking pretty solid. I think we've been out about 8 times total, between lunches and longer dates. No intimacy yet (nothing beyond kissing at this point), but we are planning a weekend alone when I'm forced to give Adam over to stbx for overnight visits, and I'm thinking it will happen then. Our next date is supposed to be for the coming Sunday - dinner and a movie. My birthday is next week, and I'm thinking he has something planned for me .

Questions/Vents/Comments

It's mostly me at this point. I'm still learning to trust again, and the littlest things put me into a tailspin (i.e. if he doesn't call exactly when I think he should etc.). I'm just trying to take it one day at a time and to remember that his life is extremely busy with the kids, being a firefighter, his side business (real estate), and his extended family - he deserves consideration and space.

That's it for me - who's next????

Tabitha ~ devoted wife to my best friend Stephen ribbonyellow.gif and gentle Christian mom to six DSs: notes.gif E - 2/09/00REPlaySkateboard04HL.gifA - 3/05/03superhero.gifA- 6/05/06 guitar.gif H- 2/07/08 jog.gif J - 11/14/10 bouncy.gif T - 8/23/12 + stork-suprise.gif due 9/20/14!  brokenheart.gif DD Janae 10/19/09 angel2.gif
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#2 of 251 Old 11-10-2004, 12:24 PM
 
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I'm just starting to get back into the dating scene and I got off to a rocky start. I went out with a guy from work and that didn't turn out too well. It turns out he was into playing games and was only interested in me when I wasn't showing interest in him. So I decided to just be friends with him and not waste my time.

The other night I met a guy (through mutual friends) that seems nice and he wants to take me out. He has a good job (stock market) and his own place and seems pretty nice. I'm just really nervous about it. He called me last night while I was at work and sounded sweet but I haven't called him back yet. I've heard all good things about him: he wants to settle down, he's looking for a nice girl, etc. But ONE person told me that he likes to play the field, and that has got me worried.

I think I'm just going to go on one date with him and get to know him a little better and decided for myself. I'm just so scared of getting burned right now. I feel so fragile sometimes and a good burn could kill me. KWIM mamas?

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#3 of 251 Old 11-10-2004, 03:10 PM
 
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Unfortunately, it looks like I'll be lurking this time on the dating thread!
I've had some men ask to go out, but the timing seemed to always be off & frankly, I knew we weren't a "match" anyway.

With my extra busy schedule right now, I don't anticipate meeting anyone, but if that changes, I'll keep you posted!

Good luck to those of you who find interesting dates!
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#4 of 251 Old 11-10-2004, 03:48 PM
 
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(insert dragnet music here )

The man:

35 year old, blond haired, blue eyed, tallish (LOL, I am 5'10, so tall is good), smooth sexy voice He's a magician, not just for fun/a hobby, that is what he does for a living. He is spiritual in the same way I am, and seems really involved in the same kind of community activism that I am (and while this sounds really good to me it makes me wary at the same time....my ex claimed to be into alot of things just to "win" me over) Plus he called me from Trader Joe's so I am pretty sure he isn't a junk food junkie.

The date:

We've been trying to get together for a couple months now. We are supposed to have a first date on Friday. I picked the local poolhall....my favorite first date, casual, you can really get to talk, they have good food, and I know the owners...plus I don't have to get all dressed up, I can show up in jeans and a hoodie.


Questions/vents/comments:

The big thing I am concerned about is how much we really have in common...I mean I like alot of what he does....theater, opera, symphony, but that is only one side of me. I can't imagine dressing nice and sipping tea (ha ha) all the time...I need to be able to cut loose, go to a divey bar and listen to punk rock....go listen to bluegrass on the lawn.

The babysitter situation seems to be ironing itself out...mom and I talked a long time this morning. I dont think she is thrilled but she is being nicer anyway.

Soul-o to answer your questions from the other thread....everyone else I know works, and he can only make it in the afternoon most of the time. If he ever wants an evening date I have a better pool of sitters. And my ex never has the kids....last time they saw him was last February.
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#5 of 251 Old 11-10-2004, 04:12 PM
 
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The Man

The sexiest pediatric urologist ever! At least to me We were introduced via mutual acquantainces and hit it off well.....but our relationship, while deeply caring, is also very intense and we've had some big arguments before. He's unbelievable with ds, he adores kids (as per his job), and is very amily-oriented. We love the same things- music, politics, outdoor activities, family stuff and think the same way- crunchy, Jewish liberals. But we are both so damn opinionated!!!!!!!!!!

He is also the first and only person I have dated since becoming pregnant with ds, the first, uh, *you know*, since my -ex.

The Dates

We've been together for a little over a year now and while we've never broken up we have had our share of spats. As you can see from my signature, he proposed in September- and only suggested he might change his mind once since then The odd thing is he's 100%, fully, totally committed to being ds's dad. He's never, ever even hinted this might change, he's there in that respect emotionally, physically, etc. And while I think he was pretty AP when we met, he's become even more so since getting closer to ds and I. We've been on maybe 3-4 dates without ds over the course of the year and we do stuff at home when ds is sleeping, like have dessert and watch a film, etc. I used to have a sitter from ds's daycare that he LOVED but she's off to midwifery school, but we are looking for someone else from his school.

Questions/Vents/Comments

As someone who's never been married or involved with ds's other genetic half after ds's conception:

Can I ever fully trust anyone in a LTR?

Will I lose too much of myself as an individual- I like being a single mama and having control/freedom?

Obviously this guy is giving ds and I everything he has, he's always reliable, never lied/cheated/anything, gentle as you can imagine, yes we argue but generally about political issues (no yelling/name-calling though, just intense) he's basically perfect for me and for ds so why am I so SCARED?

What does it mean to co-parent?

Why don't partnered parents understand that dp and I going out everyone once in a while is NOT "anti-AP" it's just that we need some teeny amount of space to build a solid relationship (the kind of space they HAVE!) that is ultimately the best thing for ds??

How do I terminate parental rights (as per my -ex)?

peace
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#6 of 251 Old 11-10-2004, 05:24 PM
 
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ya know...figures the minute I said things were coming together they wouldnt. LOL. Almost as soon as I posted he called and said his ex needed him to pick his ds up from school that day....he lives too far away to hang out here and still pick ds up. Wah!!!!! So I guess we are going to try for next week some time. LOL, maybe this will keep me motivated to stick to my diet....the elusive man, he can call every other day and say let's try for x day....before you know it I will be svelte :

lilhomegrownmama, you are so right, you need that time. Don't let anyone say you aren't AP if you have some dates away from the wee one....everyone needs that time, I know my ex and I needed it (and our relationship deteriorated when we stopped taking it). I totally do that too though....I beat myself up about taking time away from the kids every time I go out, but I also know a sane mom is a happy mom, so it is important to do.
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#7 of 251 Old 11-10-2004, 05:35 PM
 
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I want to know HOW you meet these men. I am not working now so that is out. I just moved to a brand new city to be near my son's father. I know few people. I am with my son all of the time. I live in a hip-type area where I am sure guys are not looking to be dads. Not to mention how would they know I am single?




BUT.....I do have a friend that is visiting over Thanksgiving. I have known him for 11 years. We have never been intimate, though we have always had a flirtuous and loving relationship. Since March we have been seeing each other a lot and talking on the phone a lot. He loves my son dearly and treats him well. I do not know if we would be a good couple...We talk about it, but seriously? Who knows? I do not know he is interested in a LTR. I am not sure WHAT he wants...I was hoping to find out when he visited, but I have another friend coming up so we will not get a lot of time alone. He does want to move up here and he often talks about our future together...so maybe.....

When I go visit him, we go out. Not necessarily dates, but we go to dinner or he has me over to his house to cook me dinner. We spend a lot of time together. He is coming here for Thanksgiving.

Other than that, I got nothing. :LOL

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#8 of 251 Old 11-10-2004, 05:59 PM
 
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Oooh how fun! Now since I'm not officially divorced, this stays between us, right mamas?


He's almost two years younger than me, 26, works for a commercial real estate firm and is about to become a broker. He's adorable, about 6'4 and chubby, just a big ol teddy bear. He's seriously the nicest man I have ever met, totally honest and thoughtful. For my Birthday back in October he suprised me with a birthday cake and came in with it lit, singing Happy Birthday. He used to be in a band and can actually sing and play guitar ... last weekend he played a few songs for me that he wrote and I was totally impressed. Basicly, he's everything I could have ever asked for!

Now it gets complicated. We met back in early August, but I'm still not divorced yet. : My husband has been running all over dating and screwing whatever, whenever he wants ... but I have guilt for dating this guy that there is NO WAY I would ever want to pass up on. I've been alone since July, but yet I still feel guilt.

He lives an hour away, so right now we only get to see eachother about once a week, but we talk everyday.

Umm, as far as where things are going ... I think we are BOTH ready to get serious. We are seriously a perfect match. BUT BUT BUT I'm still damn married and my husband is refusing to sign the settlement papers he had previously agreed to. So for right now, I'm taking things one day at a time.

But I'm very, very happy to have him. I had no idea there were men like him out there. I'm not ready to say the word yet ... but I'm close. Of course, because of all of the things my stbx did to me, I have some trust issues and I'm scared to death of getting hurt. So I'm protecting myself more than I probably should ... but I don't know any other way right now.

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#9 of 251 Old 11-10-2004, 08:39 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilhomegrownmama


[Can I ever fully trust anyone in a LTR?

Will I lose too much of myself as an individual- I like being a single mama and having control/freedom?

Obviously this guy is giving ds and I everything he has, he's always reliable, never lied/cheated/anything, gentle as you can imagine, yes we argue but generally about political issues (no yelling/name-calling though, just intense) he's basically perfect for me and for ds so why am I so SCARED?

What does it mean to co-parent?

Why don't partnered parents understand that dp and I going out everyone once in a while is NOT "anti-AP" it's just that we need some teeny amount of space to build a solid relationship (the kind of space they HAVE!) that is ultimately the best thing for ds??
I think a relationship is a constant flowing, ever changing & evolving thing.
I don't think we can ever trust or rely completely on another, but I think the only way to have a truly amazing relationship is to jump in and give it your all. I'd rather have a really amazing relationship for awhile than a ho-hum one for years!

This is a major change, so I think it's okay to be scared. There's a difference between being scared & nervous about how things will change & a huge red flag saying "run from this man."

I think "co-parenting" means people sharing the parenting load. Again, as it is a relationship, it will constantly change too. I think keeping the communication open between all of you is really key. There will be times when one or two or all of you butt heads, but ultimately, you can probably figure it out. I truly believe that the more people who truly love & want the best for my kids, the better. When two people come together there are bound to be areas that you disagree. I think that's good. It will allow your child to see & experience different points of view.

And I absolutely think it is CRITICAL for AP parents to recognize the need for a break from the kids, a time to form and nurture other relationships and do things that nurture our own Motherhood, Womanhood, Goddess-ness! It only makes you a better, stronger parent and more able to AP your child & truly be present when you're together!

Go forth & enjoy your journey! ~ L.J.
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#10 of 251 Old 11-10-2004, 10:54 PM
 
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OK, you mamas helped me to get the courage to call Mr. X back and he really does seem like a nice guy. AND we're going out TONIGHT

He asked if I had plans tonight and I didn't (and was feeling pretty courageous) so I agreed to go out with him tonight. My sister even agreed to watch DS (while he's sleeping) because she thinks I need to get out. Now I'm feeling reallllllllly nervous. We really hit it off on the phone so I'm hoping our little "date" goes just as well.

Trying not to get my hopes up, but I'm excited!

Zen doula-mama to my spirited DS1 (2/03), my CHD (TAPVR) warrior DS2 (6/07) & a gentle baby girl (8/09)
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#11 of 251 Old 11-11-2004, 12:45 AM
 
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Just gonna lurk on this one, too. The furthest I've ventured into the dating realm so far is accepting and promptly cancelling a brunch date and fantasizing about dating a guy in one of my classes that I'm crushing on. :LOL I don't imagine I'll be dating until I get out of school. It's pretty much the only place I'm likely to converse with anyone and guys in law school just don't seem really interested in women with children.

All of you who are out there - go on with your bad selves.
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#12 of 251 Old 11-11-2004, 11:12 AM
 
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Originally Posted by AidenMatthewsMom
OK, you mamas helped me to get the courage to call Mr. X back and he really does seem like a nice guy. AND we're going out TONIGHT

He asked if I had plans tonight and I didn't (and was feeling pretty courageous) so I agreed to go out with him tonight. My sister even agreed to watch DS (while he's sleeping) because she thinks I need to get out. Now I'm feeling reallllllllly nervous. We really hit it off on the phone so I'm hoping our little "date" goes just as well.

Trying not to get my hopes up, but I'm excited!

How did it go?

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#13 of 251 Old 11-11-2004, 02:07 PM
 
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ok well I have one very wonderful friend..and this may sound stupid but I am gonna put it out there.. he is sweet and loving and kind and generous and so badly wants to click with DS.. but..he is awkward around my son he doesn't know what to do around him..and when he does pay attention to him its like he is forcing himself only because he feels like he needs to show me he can.. let me explain though that he is not mean or anything just awkward and doesn't know how to "let go" with kids I Guess.. he is shy and quiet and even though I have known him forever and truly care about him not to mention uhm the occasional physical "thing" is KILLER... btu I cannot seem to commit myself to someone who doesn't click with my boy..ykwim? my ds likes him and all (as much as a 2 yo likes everybody) but still...its hard to explain.. all that aside..I did go on a HORRIFIC date about 4 weeks ago.. this guy I USED to work out with casually at the gym around 3 years ago (I was married and behaved but I did flirt) got my # from the owner of the gym ( a friend of mine) and called... we went out for coffee and a walk..and he was SUCH an @$$HOLE!!!!! not only did he tell me he had a child in another state that he completely gave up all rights too..but then he thought that just because I allowed him to hug me goodnight it was open invite to FEEL ME UP! ...UHM NO! in fact my cell phone rang durng our "date" and it was a girlfriend of mine and I pretended she was my babysitter and had to immediately leave (called her back when I got into the car and explained) he was such a sleaze bag.. I dont know what I ever saw in him..well maybe the hottness and bulging muscles..but darn it thats just not enough.. and the worst part was he kinda reminded me of my ex...it was just bad. so NOW I am being super careful.. not that guys are banging down my door cuz they are NOT... But.. I think a couple of emails or phone calls would be good before I get a sitter again hehe.. good luck to all you Mamas
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#14 of 251 Old 11-11-2004, 03:25 PM
 
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My date went surprisingly well. He really seems like a genuinely nice guy and he seems to have his act together. Here's the lowdown - bring on the dragnet music.

The Guy
Ryan, 23 year old loan/investments officer. Owns his own house. 5'11" dirty blonde hair and blue eyes. Very muscular. Great outgoing personality. Loves kids (has a 2.5 yr old 1/2 brother) and talks about wanting to "find the right girl and settle down". VERY polite and somewhat old-fashioned (holds doors, etc). Has never drank alcohol, smoked cigarettes, or done any drugs.

The date
Nothing major, we kept it casual so we could talk a lot and get to know each other better. He made dinner then we watched a movie. At the end of the night he drove me home and walked me to my door and kissed me on my hand (kind of cheesy, but sweet at the same time) and said he had a good time and would like to see me again. I kissed him on the cheek and told him I'd love to see him again.

Questions/Vents/Comments
The age thing bothered me a little because I've never dated a younger guy before. I'm 25 and he's 23. But he does seem like a mature 23. I've heard that he used to be somewhat of a "ladies man" so I'm not sure if the sweetness is just an act or if he really is a genuinely good person. But then again, I'm just paranoid and looking for something wrong with him.

I really can't complain. Everything went well and we plan on seeing each other again. I just plan on going with the flow and getting to know him a little better before deciding if he's someone I'd like to date.

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#15 of 251 Old 11-11-2004, 05:08 PM
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I'm a little wary of jinxing it, but here goes....

The Man: 27 yo (like me), african-american (DD is multi-racial, so I find this a plus) incredibly GORGEOUS full-time student guitar player and vocalist in a spoken word hip hop band, very intelligent, funny, has a beautiful cat, is very close to his family, and is an abso-fricking-lutely amazing lover (yes, I'm a slut. )

The Scene: He's a friend of a coworker. We met casually at the restaurant that I am a bartender at and socialized here and there after work for about a month. Then I did a bachelor party for a friend of his (I am also a stripper at a club). He brought me in a chocolate and a thank you card for doing the party, and in the card were rose petals. *sigh*. We flirted heavily and I had a huge crush for about a week, then things kinda fell apart for about a month (my ex, his ex, drama all over). We finally sat and had a nice long discussion about how something he had done had pissed me off, why it pissed me off, and what can/should be done about it.

I felt kinda silly for a little bit, getting so serious and having "relationship" talks when we weren't even dating yet, just flirting, but then I realized that I don't have the time/energy/effort to put into something that isn't satisfactory for me. I'm not looking for "the one", or for someone to play daddy, but I refuse to be a f*ck friend, too. I want something in between that, and goldarn it, that's what I'm gonna get.

So I told him exactly that. And he's still hanging around, so it must be okay. It's been about a month now that we've been kinda seeing each other. Talk on the phone pretty much every day, study together, have lunch together on campus, he has come over a couple times to watch dvd's and fall asleep in bed with me and DD.

Thoughts: I really really like this guy, and am enjoying just getting to know him, no rush, he's a good addition to my life whether or not we work out romantically, kwim? Oh, and did I add that he's a ridiculously good lover?

I'm in a state of confusion about what's appropriate as far as dating and my DD goes. She's 16 months, we live with 10 ppl, so she's used to a zillion ppl being around and meeting new ppl all the time. On one hand, you're not supposed to introduce your kids to a partner until you know he's sticking around, right? But on the other hand, I spend all my free time with DD, so I'd prefer to have him hang out with both my DD and I at the same time. He's met her three times, two late-night movies---->early morning waking up, and one quick stop-by hello. He doesn't seem freaked out by her sleeping next to me during the movie or crawling all over us in the morning, but he hasn't really paid much attention to her, either. Then again, she's usually asleep or hooked to my boob. :LOL

I hopefully will see him this weekend at some point and will post any exciting news (if anything happens )
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#16 of 251 Old 11-11-2004, 05:12 PM
 
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*fascinated* How does this happen? How on earth do you meet people? How do you appear available when you have a baby attached to your boob? Who wants to date us and why? (This is my hangup - I am very suspicious of anyone who wants to date a single parent. I think, maybe they're looking for a mom, in which case they are definitely barking up the wrong tree. I also think, I would never want to date a single parent if I wasn't a parent myself, b/c they would never have enough time/energy to give you. Is it totally wack for me to be thinking this way?)

Back to lurking :

ETA: this is all academic for me. i don't even know anyone i'm interested in. it's bleak, folks.

ETA: meco? i didn't realize you were single?
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#17 of 251 Old 11-11-2004, 05:29 PM
 
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*fascinated* How does this happen? How on earth do you meet people? How do you appear available when you have a baby attached to your boob? Who wants to date us and why? (This is my hangup - I am very suspicious of anyone who wants to date a single parent. I think, maybe they're looking for a mom, in which case they are definitely barking up the wrong tree. I also think, I would never want to date a single parent if I wasn't a parent myself, b/c they would never have enough time/energy to give you. Is it totally wack for me to be thinking this way?)
I feel the same way. I come with a baby. That is a lot of responsibility. And there is the catch 22 of wanting to find someone you could be serious about without appearing to be too serious too fast. Oh, there is too much to this. I might be better off dating online or never again :LOL

Since I not working and all my friends are attached to a partner mamas, my chances of meeting someone are slim to none...I see cute guys on the street or in cafes, and I smile but then I think....I have a child and who do they not know there is a father around? Hmmm....

Quote:
ETA: this is all academic for me. i don't even know anyone i'm interested in. it's bleak, folks.
same here I am not sure how I am ever going to meet a guy with my son around...And besides my lovely guy friend, I got nothing!

Quote:
ETA: meco? i didn't realize you were single?

Welllll....My child's father is still around. I moved here so he could be around his son. We see each other every day, but I live alone. We are doing the amicable, friend thing. Not a relationship anymore. We had toyed with the idea since Sept, but since I was staying with him and his mom we just let it lie. And then I got my own place....so...yes, single! I still refer to him as my SO sometimes b/c I just started living alone this month and he is still around. I am newly single I guess and it has not hit home :LOL

But.....we can always hit the town looking for guys together

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#18 of 251 Old 11-11-2004, 05:31 PM
 
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oh yeah, *2* prowling women w/ toddlers in tow... we'll be beating em off w/ a stick!!
but i like girls too, so that's less competition for you. :LOL

so now i get your situation, which i had not previously understood, and i'm going to pm you now.
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#19 of 251 Old 11-11-2004, 05:32 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by happyhippiemama
(yes, I'm a slut. )

:


Otherwise, sounds like all is going good for you! I hope it continues to go so well

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#20 of 251 Old 11-11-2004, 05:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by guerrillamama
oh yeah, *2* prowling women w/ toddlers in tow... we'll be beating em off w/ a stick!!
:

Quote:
but i like girls too, so that's less competition for you. :LOL
who said I didn't?

Not to mention, at this point, I would go for just about anything :LOL A girl has needs you, you, not to, know

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#21 of 251 Old 11-12-2004, 12:29 AM
 
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Ok, seriously, my single friends

Suggestions on meeting new people....

Maybe I should start a new thread.....

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#22 of 251 Old 11-12-2004, 03:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Meeting new people who are interested in single moms....

I have only dated men with children from previous relationships/marriages, and this is by choice. From a practical standpoint, I feel that men who have children will understand and work with my time limitations. As well, parenting is already something we have in common. I ended up meeting my previous boyfriend by chance - he was looking for outside toys for his DDs and wound up at my yard sale. Our first date was a playdate with the kids . The person I'm currently seeing (wouldn't call him boyfriend or SO yet) I met through a co-worker. I personally prefer to meet through introduction. Another option for me (that I haven't tried yet!) is the local mega church with it's 2,500 member singles congregation. I've heard the man action at that service is totally hot ! Perhaps there is a local single parenting support group or other such organization you could attend?

Good luck in your search!

Tabitha ~ devoted wife to my best friend Stephen ribbonyellow.gif and gentle Christian mom to six DSs: notes.gif E - 2/09/00REPlaySkateboard04HL.gifA - 3/05/03superhero.gifA- 6/05/06 guitar.gif H- 2/07/08 jog.gif J - 11/14/10 bouncy.gif T - 8/23/12 + stork-suprise.gif due 9/20/14!  brokenheart.gif DD Janae 10/19/09 angel2.gif
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#23 of 251 Old 11-12-2004, 01:00 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meco
I feel the same way. I come with a baby. That is a lot of responsibility. And there is the catch 22 of wanting to find someone you could be serious about without appearing to be too serious too fast. Oh, there is too much to this.
I agree 100%. That is my major problem. I meet a guy that seems nice and has potential for being a long-term bf but I don't want to start talking about that right away. He even mentioned on our date how he can't seem to find a "nice" girl and he wants to be able to settle down and have children. I'm just apprehensive about bringing that up so soon and looking like the "crazy chick who wants a commitment already".

Being back in the dating scene is weird and scary. I'm not the beat-around-the-bush type of person and I hate playing games. I think I'm just gonna be honest and say what I think and see if he goes running. :LOL

Zen doula-mama to my spirited DS1 (2/03), my CHD (TAPVR) warrior DS2 (6/07) & a gentle baby girl (8/09)
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#24 of 251 Old 11-12-2004, 01:20 PM
 
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Originally Posted by AidenMatthewsMom
I'm just apprehensive about bringing that up so soon and looking like the "crazy chick who wants a commitment already".
I feel hesitant to approach men in general - even men I'm not particularly attracted to but think they might be interesting to talk to - for fear of seeming like the "desperate single mom."
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#25 of 251 Old 11-12-2004, 10:16 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragonfly
I feel hesitant to approach men in general - even men I'm not particularly attracted to but think they might be interesting to talk to - for fear of seeming like the "desperate single mom."
I'm hesitant to approach men too. I'm pretty shy. But if I see a guy that seems interesting, I'll make eye contact with him a few times and give a friendly smile or say hello. If they are interested, that is like a little invite to come over and talk. It usually works.

The new guy in my life was introduced to me through a mutual friend of ours (I work with her). I wasn't necessarily looking for a guy, but I figured that going on a date couldn't hurt.

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#26 of 251 Old 11-12-2004, 10:36 PM
 
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casn i come and play? i am single but havent dated for sooo long i dont remember what it is. maybe it's becuase i dont call back. blushing.
maya

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#27 of 251 Old 11-13-2004, 12:31 AM
 
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I don't know how you specifically find a man who wants a single Mom, lol, but they ARE out there.

The guy I was introduced to is 26, single with no kids. When we first met, I was totally upfront about the fact that I was divorcing and had a little boy who meant the world to me. Instead of being scared off (which I kind of assumed would happen), he respected that. Said he would be concered if Alex WASN'T my primary concern.

Anyway, things have gone really well with us ... it's given me hope that even if things don't work out between us, there are single guys out there who are not afraid to date a "Mom".

They are out there Mamas ... now the question is how to find them! lol Did I just luck out?

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#28 of 251 Old 11-13-2004, 04:10 AM
 
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You were lucky!

The normal places to meet a guy would be...
1. at work
2. through friends
3. church

Well, I do not work. Do not know too many people as I moved to a new city, and who knows? And I started a new church, but do not know anyone there--and some do not attend so that would be out.


Where else? The street is not going so well for me as my son is always me with :LOL And people never know if I have a father around, if there is a man in my life, what my situation is...

Yes, big old Catch 22. Upfront is key Can't be meeting in a bar then? :LOL

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#29 of 251 Old 11-13-2004, 04:52 AM
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well so this is annoying. I'm drunk... .....Some of my housemates and I (7 of us) went out tonight, DD is at the sitter and I will pick up in the morning.

I had told my datee what my plans were for the night, invited him along, called him today to remind him, etc.

He ended up not going, he went out to a holiday work party early in the night and to listen to some live music after that.

Now I'm irked. Does he not realize that I get to go out, for an entire night, with my friends, without responsibility, like once every five months?

:

I sooooooooooo want to pick a fight. But that's bc I'm drunk.

love
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#30 of 251 Old 11-13-2004, 05:01 AM
 
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Ohhhh, I am sorry. That sucks, mama. No good at all But hey, at least you had a good time right?


Quote:
Originally Posted by happyhippiemama

:

I sooooooooooo want to pick a fight. But that's bc I'm drunk.

Ok. lets fights But nice, and it will get out of your system

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