Why I love Being a Single Mother - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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Old 07-28-2005, 12:45 AM
 
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Yeah I read this thread when I was still considering single motherhood and glad it is back now that I am there. My list is

I Love the peaceful aura my kids have now, instead of the nervous habits they had before

I love sleeping sandwiched between my boys

I love that my friend and her boys can come spend the night tonight camping in our living room, and I can go dancing with no one to spew anger at me about it later.

I love that I can now get my boys to sleep at a normal hour, and spend the evening watching whatever movie I choose, or meditating, or reading or whatever and not have to worry about someone else sucking my energy dry

I love that my kids no longer see teenage mutant ninja turtles or simpsons on a daily basis, and I don't have to constantly argue why that is not good for them

I love that my sons now know that whatever they feel, wear, play with or say is fine and no one in their home will judge them for it

I love the stability I now have knowing that I am in control of what money comes into this house, and how it is spent, knowing it isn't going to disappear or be spent on alcohol, big screen TVs or "unaccountable" purchases

I love that I can let my light shine without stifling it to not make my partner feel insecure

I love that I can pick my friends freely without worrying about my partners judgements

I love that I am respected and cherished and all I have to do now to stop the verbal abuse is change the tape playing in my head

I know there are more, but this is what really stood out to me tonight. I was so scared before I took the plunge, but now wonder what I waited so long for.
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Old 07-31-2005, 08:40 AM
 
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Hey, the realization just hit me today that when I get paid, I can go get my hair cut without answering to anyone!

Yes, I am newly single and have some catching up to do. :LOL

The realization just hit me out of the blue, and it was almost like a revelation. I can take care of myself without feeling guilty. This is great! No more asking, no more explaining. My thoughts, choices and feelings are valid.

"The best things in life aren't things."

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Old 09-13-2005, 07:40 PM
 
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Bumping this up, because it was time for me to read it again and I thought others might feel the same way.

Mods, could we PLEASE make this a sticky? I think this thread is an extremely valuable resource.
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Old 09-14-2005, 10:12 AM
 
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Old 09-15-2005, 01:23 AM
 
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No yucky dripping messy on sale piles of meat in the fridge and no more dirty scorched pans in the sink. And no one is calling me an idiot
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Old 09-15-2005, 01:03 PM
 
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When I go home I know what to expect. PEACE

....hugs and kisses from my bundle of joy!!!!
....the freedom to do what I want, say what I want, and act the way I feel
.....PEACE, PEACE, and more PEACE, Oh I can't tell you how good it feels
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Old 09-22-2005, 01:16 AM
 
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thanks mamas, I need this thread tonight!
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Old 09-22-2005, 11:39 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Victorian
thanks mamas, I need this thread tonight!

I agree. Victoria, we need to be encouraging each other with loving supportive thoughts like these!
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Old 09-25-2005, 09:49 PM
 
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I'm not a single mama yet, but I find this thread so inspiring. It really points out how important it is to be happy, no matter what that means to you. And if I can't be that way with my (stbx?)h, then I need to go.
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Old 09-26-2005, 12:46 AM
 
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Okay don't freak out but I have to add another best thing, in fact, the BEST thing about being a single mom...which is finally finding romance, and real love.

This might not be everyone's experience. But it is mine and I have to rave because it's so incredible. what I had before....that wasn't even LOVE! It wasn't even....LIKE half the time! What was I thinking? Thank God that horrible relationship ended!

I am so in love,so happy now. A year ago I would have told you no way, I am done with men. And here I am 9 months into an incredibly happy relationship.

I've posted a few times to this thread because there is so much about being single that makes motherhood really work. I love the life I have with my daughter, just the two of us. And I am thrilled to announce that my divorce will FINALLY be finalized on november 14th!

But the happiest part for me, is that by getting rid of the old I was able to move on to the new. I wasnt expecting to find it. But I did. And girlfriends believe me when I tell you: the new is very, very good indeed.

So for all the reasons above, being single is just plain awesome.
Yes, I know it's hard.
But I'm from New England. We're taught that everything worth anything is hard. ;-)

But ...there's also the opportunity for change if you allow it. And sometimes change is....really fun and easy.
And that's what makes me happy: growth and change. Happy change.
And hard work paying off.

Good luck to all of us.
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Old 11-22-2005, 05:03 PM
 
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Old 11-27-2005, 01:38 AM
 
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This is a super thread! It is so nice to hear positive thoughts on single parenting. Am not yet a mom but hope to be one.
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Old 12-26-2005, 11:38 PM
 
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Why I Love Being a Single Mother


1.I can parent however I want.

2.I can watch whatever movies I want.

3.No adults yell at me in my own home.

4.I don’t have to cater to an adult who is a pickier eater than any of my three children.

5.I never have to watch sports.

6.I don’t have to stop normal life to prepare for the 5pm arrival of Him.

7.The king-size bed is plenty big for all four of us when they all pile in.

8.I feel so empowered knowing that <b>I</b> replaced the broken phone jack,
lit the pilot light on the water heater, hung the shelves, got the kitchen window to close, etc, etc, etc. Installing a light fixture is next on my list.

9. Nobody thinks my beliefs are silly or stupid.

10.My kids know that girls can use tools and fix things, too.

11.My kids aren’t seeing a poor example of what a marriage (theoretically) can be.

12.I never have to listen to AC/DC.

13.I never have to suck in my stomach.

14.There are no adult skidmarks in my laundry hamper.

15.I can make my house a home without having to compromising my decorating style.

16.The kids and I can embrace our spirituality and practice un-self-consciously whenever we want.

17.I choose how the money is spent.

18.No snoring to keep me awake.

19.No nasty beard hairs in the sink.

20.Nobody ever leaves the toilet seat up.

21.We sing all the time with nobody getting annoyed.

22.I can fully focus on my children and myself, without throwing marriage into the mix.

23.I never feel guilty for spending my evenings on the computer.

24.I don’t have to share my closet or dresser.

25.The only clothes on my bedroom floor are mine.

26.Nobody leaves piles of catalogs of tools on the kitchen counter.

27.If the trash is full or the dishes are not washed, I have nobody to blame but myself.

28.Nobody cares that my pits and legs are hairy.

29.Everyone in my home is cherished and respected.

30.I can listen to whatever music suits my mood.

31.Nobody changes my car and mirror positions in my car.

32.I’m not lonely anymore.

33.My kids have a happy mom.

34.I never have to listen to somebody else yell at my children.

35.I never feel guilty for not wanting to have sex.

36.I never have to watch another violent movie.

37.No in-laws.

38.I can have as many cats as I want.

39.Anytime the kids find an injured animal or bring home a stray, I can say “yes”.

40.I can laugh when dinner burns instead of being afraid.

41.I almost never feel fat, even though I am.

42.We can cultivate our own traditions without anyone mocking them.

43.I make all my own decisions. My life is my own.

44.My children have a happy dad who enjoys his time with them, instead of an angry dad who is perpetually burnt-out and either ignoring them or yelling at them.

45.Nobody second-guesses my decisions.

46.My children’s dad is now my friend instead of my foe.

47.My children will grow up to respect women.

48.I almost never have to clean out the passenger seat of my car.

49.I can change and grow as much as I want.

50.I never cry myself to sleep anymore.

51.There will never be any guns in my home.

52.I never have to say, “I wish I could ____, but my husband won’t let me/doesn’t like it.”

53.My kids are growing up in a happy home.

54.I am overflowing with self-respect, self-worth, independence, happiness, and love.

55.Why the hell was I married to a man anyway? I’m a lesbian!
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Old 12-26-2005, 11:49 PM
 
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MaWhit - can I copy your list?

Except for the last one, I'd have to say:

I can stop lying about my sexuality. I can take time to figure out what I want without having someone else's ideals forced on me. I no longer have to say "I'm married, ergo I must be straight."
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Old 12-27-2005, 12:26 AM
 
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Thanks mamas, i needed that (i agree that it would make a great sticky)

                                Whatever will be, already is...
 
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Old 12-27-2005, 03:53 AM
 
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Ma Whit, you have the comprehensive list!! :

I love it!!
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Old 02-08-2006, 06:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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These are all wonderful lists and thoughts. :

Teach your children about the global water crisis
Visit Dream Village to learn more | Check out Saved by the Well on Amazon! | SBTW Trailer!
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Old 02-12-2006, 06:57 AM
 
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I love that I don't have to endure put downs infront of my son (or anywhere else)
I love that I am the person my baby cries to when he is hurt.
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Old 02-16-2006, 03:49 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamajama
I get to show my boys that girls can fix things with screwdrivers.

I have time and energy and motivation to figure out my life without being distracted or having someone elses opinion affecting my decisions.

I have become very resourceful.

I am more politically aware without having to debate all my thoughts.

I get to choose the music.

I am more compassionate for my fellow human beings.

I can really appreciate an hour alone in a cafe.

The spiders I find occasionally in the house don't get squished, they get put out the window.

I can wear the most tacky pink fake satin robe and fuzzy slippers without anyone critiquing my fashion sense except my boys who think I look like a princess.

I can sing the most irritating falsetto opera in the house,without any inhibitions.

I no longer feel the need to suck in my gut.
I lOVE LOVE LOVE these Thankx mammas I really needed this thread..
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Old 03-23-2006, 04:04 AM
 
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Bumping again to put in another request to the mods to sticky this thread.
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Old 03-23-2006, 05:55 PM
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What an awesome, inspiring thread !!!!

I am just beginning the single mama journey, and this thread, like so many other things in my life right now, is a gift from the universe. Just what I needed just when I needed it.

And I got to LMAO !

Please, mods, sticky this. It has inspired this newly-single mama, could help another mama make her choice, and serve as inspiration on a tough day.

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Old 03-23-2006, 06:26 PM
 
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SOOO many reasons why we all love being single! I have been single since day 1 of my daughter's conception (unplanned but not unwanted) and so I am thankful that I didn't have to go through the difficulties of a relationship breaking up. So my favorite reason for being single is that I have my ego, my strength, my way, my philosophy, and my choices all intact!!

Lisa mom to Gillian (7) : and three : :
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Old 03-23-2006, 11:31 PM
 
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Why I Love Being A Single Mother

Never having to justify why I am breastfeeding for as long as my little one needs/wants to to someone who feels he has the right to stop me ...

Never wondering what he is up to while I am alone with the kids and he is out at a bar (again) ...

Knowing that when the pipes burst in the bathroom I can fix it! ...

Never having to ask for grocery money ...

Never, Ever being afraid in my own home ...

Never having to wonder when the next blow-up is going to occur ...

Knowing that my precious blessings are thriving in a love-filled, safe, happy, healthy home!

: I am a woman of faith; a mother; a writer. :
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Old 03-24-2006, 07:55 PM
 
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I love that I only have to raise my sons.

I also love that I don't have to feel like a failure because he is.

Jami (25) Roland (27) & Caleb (5), Jacob (3.5) , Kaitlyn (2)
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Old 03-24-2006, 08:39 PM
 
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i love that i am so connected to my dd. its something that people notice about us all the time. the only way i could ever have had this bond was because i was single and never had to worry about anyone else except my dd. for instance i didnt have to force her to bed at 9 just so i could save some time for my significant other.

on her 3rd bday when the CPS worker visited our house and asked my dd if i get angry with her - she answered yes mommy gets angry with me sometimes but i know she will always love me no matter what i do.

i dont think i would have been able to have this deep a connection if i wasnt a single mom.

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Old 03-31-2006, 09:41 PM
 
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wow, i needed this thread BIGTIME. i made the decision today (although he doesn't know)...i'm in the strategizing phase now, and i'm absolutely terrified, but now i'm excited that it really IS possible to have a better life. thanks everyone
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Old 04-10-2006, 02:40 AM
 
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Dumpling, you just described my marriage...what am I going to do, please help me.
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Old 04-17-2006, 03:08 AM
 
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~ Not accumulating more credit card debt each month.
~ Not having to try to make someone else happy when nothing would work anyways.
~ Not having to deal with baseless accusations of being unfaithful. Oh yeah... because every married woman whose 39 weeks pregnant wants to try to sexually satisfy more than one man. :
~ Not having to give up holiday traditions.
~ Not having to call in sick for someone who's just hungover.
~ Being able to eat what I want for dinner.
~ Oh, and for good measure how about #3 times a million...
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Old 04-17-2006, 03:43 AM
 
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I love being able to concentrate on just one person instead of having to make another person happy too at the same time!I love not wondering how long the relationship is going to last. I love not being embarassed by someone elses behaviours.I love not having to pretend to be nice to crazy would be inlaws.
I love being able to nurse as long as my DD please. I also love being able to cosleep as I please without someone telling me he rolls around at night (not my problem sleep in your own bed, at least you don't get scared like she does.)I love being able to cook what I want and not have to ask anyone.
I love that I am only raising one kid and not also an adult who feels like acting like one. I love that I don't always have someone asking me for a ride and money. I love that I don't have someone making me cook foods I don't like.I love that I can be fat and no one is telling me like I don't already know:!Oh and I love not having to shave! (You didn't read that: )I love that I can just BE MYSELF! AHH this feels good.
THIS THREAD ROCKS! I needed it.
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