Why I love Being a Single Mother - Page 7 - Mothering Forums

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#181 of 482 Old 09-29-2006, 07:23 PM
 
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I love being a single mother - because I know how much money is in the bank - I dont have to worry about someone else taking the money I needed for bills.

I dont have to answer to someone else

I can go to the movie I want to see

I dont have to cook stuff I dont like because it is what a "man" eats.
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#182 of 482 Old 09-29-2006, 07:26 PM
 
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to dear2u!

We're glad you've joined our thread!

Visit www.evolutiontosimplicity.blogspot.com to follow my epic saga of single mummahood....

 

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#183 of 482 Old 10-02-2006, 01:51 AM
 
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I'm sure this has been mentioned, but one thing I love about being a single mama is how every decision is new. I get to reexamine every decision I ever make and ask whether it's really what *I* want or if it's what I thought I should do to make my ex happy. Making decisions for myself, even ones as small as what kind of breakfast cereal to buy, feels so sweet.

I also like how I feel like I have so much more time for myself and for my my boys now that I'm not also trying to balance time for the entire family, couples time, etc. I always used to feel like it was a struggle to get time for myself and I often felt annoyed at the burden my sons placed on my time. I never feel like that now.

I'm fairly newly single and still have more bad days than good with regard tot this single mama business, but the good days are incredibly sweet and threads like this help immensely!
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#184 of 482 Old 10-06-2006, 01:08 AM
 
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<<3 I love that me and DD can snug whenever, eat popcorn and watch movies late in the night

<<3 I love to take naps with her

<<3 We play games and sing and dance

<<3 We go out shopping WHENEVr we want

<<3 That I am responsible for her well being, it feels good to know that a little person like her can depend on mommy so much

<<3 I am the disciplinarian and she will listen to me

<<33 Shes my only love and I am her only love.
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#185 of 482 Old 10-06-2006, 02:28 PM
 
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Hi girls! I'm new here! First time to the board and was reading this thread.

It's amazing to finally find others like me lol. Most other single moms I know either don't admit these things or I don't know....just dont' get that we like it lol.

I am also thrilled to be a single parent. My ex and I divorced 3yrs ago. I have two boys ages 5 1/2 and 7 who are handsome, intelligent, comical, sweet, affectionate, loving and thriving!

I recently (about 6-7mo ago) met a wonderful man who was also a single parent. Everything was going wonderful. He was eager for marriage and I kind of fell in the trap sort of speak for a moment, thinking being married again would be nicer (all this was just stupid love talking since b4 this I swore I'd never get remarried again, it actually made me want to vomit). However, I started having real doubts and serious thoughts and serious "sit down and think about this girl" moments. We were already looking for engagement rings and had all the wedding planned. We broke up very recently when I was honest with myself and with him about not being ready and not wanting a relationship like I thought I did. (guess the loneliness bug hit me and I was kind of rebounding from a 1 1/2yr friends w/benefits thing)

Suddenly, ALL the things that you loose in marriage seemed SO much bigger then what you gain (sex and companionship). You loose your freedom to make your own choices w/out consulting ANYONE, about ANYTHING. Where/how/what to do, who to visit, holidays, relatives, where to travel, what to have for dinner, who's doing what, who paid what bill, you can't hang out w/your male or female friends as much, no more girl night sleepovers, suddenly you have to cater to their needs and attention seeking crap when your kids need you. You can sit around in underwear w/out feeling self-concious, watch what you want, drink what and how much you want. Not shave if you don't want to, no nagging, no "checking w/my husband" b4 committing to any engagement. No not being able to have a dinner or phone conversation to catch up w/an exe's life that you no longer give a hoot about but your new spouse would not allow it.
You can put blue sweats, green socks and a purple shirt and walk around w/dirty hair becuase your kids are visiting at their dads and you want to sit around all day, reading, watching lifetime, looking crappy, having 3 /4 beers over the span of the afternoon and NOBODY tells you to quit being lazy.
Oh, that evening you get to baby up, pamper, go out for night on the town or w/grlfnds, or ahem....go do something else or go dancing, or go check out the cute guys at the bar that you know you aren't taking home but their fun to flirt with. Shoot theirs more, but this is plenty for a first post.
I like it here, this will be my new home I think hehe.
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#186 of 482 Old 10-08-2006, 01:02 AM
 
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I really appreciate that we are toilet paper-free and I don't have to worry about that bothering anyone.
can i just interupt and ask what this is about...it reminds me of something from my college days.

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#187 of 482 Old 10-08-2006, 02:22 AM
 
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I love being a single mother b/c I feel confident that I can make the best desicsions for my son. I love the fact that there is no one to question my educated choices on childcare just b/c other people don't do it my way.

I love the fact my sheets just smell like me and my son....not man sweat...ok that sounds funny but I just used to hate that smell.

I love the fact that ds and I eat all kinds of food with no one else's picky eating habits interfering.

I love the fact that ds isn't subjected to daily doses of the simpson's and family guy.

I love the fact that I can tend to ds's needs at any time a day without being accused of coddling him.

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#188 of 482 Old 10-08-2006, 11:19 AM
 
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can i just interupt and ask what this is about...it reminds me of something from my college days.
It just means we use wipes (ours are fleece) instead of toilet paper. I try not to buy too much instant trash and wipes are much softer on the bum than paper.

I'm also grateful not to have "man smell" in my house. I like men well enough, but the ones I know stink. I'm sure it's some dietary issue as they all have piss-poor eating habits for the most part, but still...I'm soooo glad I don't live with a stinky man, anymore.

The flatulence (sp?). I don't miss that at all. All the belching. Ew.

I loooooove being single and I can't imagine what sort of man I'd actually give it up for, although I try! Maybe he's out there. But, probably not.
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#189 of 482 Old 10-08-2006, 03:53 PM
 
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Ah yes...we used to call them "poo rags" in college.
stbx would flip out if i was to use those when we were together. He wouldn't even support cloth dipes.
Maybe just for fun (and for the earth and our bums ) we'll start those again...I love being able to do what we want, when we want to, and just because we can!!!!

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#190 of 482 Old 10-16-2006, 01:24 PM
 
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I just found out recently STBX cheated on me, which was the last in a long line of unhappy situations. He'll be moving out as soon as he can afford a place, which will probably be a few weeks. I'm still in shock over the whole situation because it was very sudden, and this thread has made me feel so much better. These are the things I'm looking forward to about him being gone:

- No shaving stubble everywhere.
- Much less clutter.
- No tripping over the stuff he's left in the floor.
- I can delete all the anime and comics off of my hard drive.
- No snoring.
- I can get my house clean because he won't be going behind me messing it up again.
- I won't dread going home because of the mess awaiting me.
- Any mess that's there is MINE.
- The whole closet all to myself.
- The whole queen-size bed all for me.
- No complaints if I want to listen to my Evanescence CDs for the millionth time.
- I can sing as loudly as I want in the car.
- No more overdraft fees because he refused to do the checkbook.
- No more whining to buy another video game system.
- No more whining about listening to me up on my soapbox about BFing, circ, birth, etc.
- No going downstairs at 2 am to get him to come to bed.
- No feeling guilty/unattractive/fat/whatever when we don't have sex.
- I can use the towels once then wash them if I feel like without somebody badgering me to hang them up to dry and use them again.
- The only critic I have of my food is DS and he loves my cooking. No more DH rolling his eyes and complaining that he wants meat.
- No more spending a fortune on DVDs.
- No new electronics just because he likes to show off.
- All the bills get paid on time.
- No library fines because he forgot to return the books.
- DS and I can go to museums or playgrounds or Circles or whatever we want without DH pouting and complaining that he doesn't feel like going anywhere.
- No dragging his butt out of bed at 10am when DS and I have been up since 8.

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#191 of 482 Old 10-23-2006, 01:07 AM
 
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I love being a single mother because my children see my light filled striving (even when I feel like I'm failing) and they appreciate me for my love, my time, and my heartful efforts to make our lives beautiful. They know I do double and then some. I love the common understanding we three hold that I am capable, strong, and guiding our ship onwards and upwards.

I love looking forward to the future and knowing the really hard times (dealing with abuse, court battles, ugly dramas, and empty fridge days) are in the past. I love imagining how I can further transform our lives for the better!

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#192 of 482 Old 10-23-2006, 01:03 PM
 
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New here and LOVE this post! Well you all mentioned the great things - one thing I noticed was that I've been bored in a good way because I no longer have his problems to deal with!! I have so much time to do absolutely nothing but that's ok because it's my and DD's time, not his.

Does 'Single Mother' also mean not dating on in a relationship?
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#193 of 482 Old 10-24-2006, 02:29 PM
 
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Hey, I am in a bad spot with H and it will pry turn into me being a single mom again and you know what? I want that! I miss being a single mommy.
- I want to make the decisions and not have to worry about somebody else questioning me.
- I can baby my 3 yo without having someone tell me to just "leave the boy alone"
- ds won't get all the bad behaviors of his step siblings
- (Sorry ladies) But if I have flatulence, I don't have to worry about someone making me feel disgusting when he can do it whenever he wants :
- I WANT FREEDOM! Maybe I am just bullheaded but I hate having to explain myself all the time
- No more stupid parties, acting like I like these people when I don't even know them (just because we're "networking")
- No more being resentful for always doing everything
- No more phone calls every half hour just to see what I am doing (I am a big girl)
- No more people bringing junk food into my house which I will eat just because it is there even though I hate it.
- I can go for a walk anytime
- I can take "me time" without feeling guilty about the house being a mess
- No more tv on all the time! One in every room, buzzing all the time, its always on.... :

I really can't wait to be a single mom again. I don't know if that is a good thing or not, but I need my freedom...
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#194 of 482 Old 10-24-2006, 02:35 PM
 
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(Sorry ladies) But if I have flatulence, I don't have to worry about someone making me feel disgusting when he can do it whenever he wants :
I know exactly how you feel!

Mandy, )O(  Proud mommy of Taylor (1/6/05) jammin.gifand Abigail (4/21/11) slinggirl.gif
Loving wife of my gamer boy Michael. modifiedartist.gifBlog link in my profile! ribboncesarean.gif
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#195 of 482 Old 10-24-2006, 03:03 PM
 
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Oh and one more thing! I can talk to my best friend of 8 years (who is in the process of going transgender (from a woman to a man)) without someone telling me that she has ulterior motives or that it is a bad influence on the children (we only communicate by email or phone so that is not even an issue would that have even been a concern of mine).
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#196 of 482 Old 10-27-2006, 12:01 AM
 
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I love the fact that no one borrows my razor : )
I love the fact that I don't feel any pressure to use that razor : )
HAHAHA, I second that !!!
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#197 of 482 Old 10-27-2006, 11:35 PM
 
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I love the fact that no one wears my Obsession.

(Yes, my ex used to wear my perfume. Barf city.)


I love the fact that there is no point in the day in which I tense up b/c someone's going to walk thru the door and bring the whole house's vibe down.
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#198 of 482 Old 10-28-2006, 11:18 PM
 
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I love the fact that there is no point in the day in which I tense up b/c someone's going to walk thru the door and bring the whole house's vibe down.
YES EXACTLY! BINGO, BINGO, BINGO!!
I got soooo tired of his drama! Even when we had good days, I wasn't able to fully enjoy it because I know the next intense arguement is getting closer. "Tense" was definitely the word. Thanks!
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#199 of 482 Old 11-11-2006, 04:03 AM
 
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i just want to say:

yes,

yes,

and more

yes.


all very yes.

i have finally, after my ex moved out in May, begun feeling the very happy vibes of being a single mama. i was so lonelly and scared at first, but now that i am here, i can SO HEAR what someone said about being LESS LONELY than they were in their marriage! yes!
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#200 of 482 Old 11-11-2006, 06:22 PM
 
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i have finally, after my ex moved out in May, begun feeling the very happy vibes of being a single mama. i was so lonelly and scared at first, but now that i am here, i can SO HEAR what someone said about being LESS LONELY than they were in their marriage! yes!
That's awsome
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#201 of 482 Old 11-25-2006, 02:24 AM
 
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The thing I love most about being a single mom is that sometimes I get that joyful feeling of "this is me and my girls"...we make a phenominal team.

P.S. Oh yeah and no more "Cops" on the TV. No more TV, in fact!
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#202 of 482 Old 11-25-2006, 04:24 AM
 
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MountainMama, I love the peace and quiet too, no yelling, no 24 hour constantly loudly turned on tv/or radio.
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#203 of 482 Old 11-25-2006, 09:53 PM
 
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Hi everyone I can't remeber if i posted here before of if i have just been looking in from time to time.I have been a single momma for the last fourteen years.I have 2 dds 14 and 4.My question is how many of you became single mommas because a relationship didn't work out and how many of you chose to be single moms.I'm asking because i have 2 dds and i would love to have a son but i am unwilling to put myself through all of the crap of finding a guy and trying to make a relationship work when that isn't really what i want.My dds are so far apart in age because i thought that it was better for me to stick with the idiot i knew than try to find a new one that might be worse than the old one.All i really want is a son without all the relationship garbage.Have any of you had kids with a donor?
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#204 of 482 Old 11-27-2006, 02:14 PM
 
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Okay ladies. This is a winner. I read this poor woman's marital issue and thought, "I AM SOOOOO BLESSED."

Here:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=562725
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#205 of 482 Old 12-08-2006, 09:41 PM
 
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I was thinking about this last night because a lot of the time I dwell on the things that make it hard to be a single mother. This is one reason I find single motherhood fulfilling. (not sure if this reason has been listed already because I haven't read the whole thread but...)

On the days my daughter is with me, usually 4-5 days/nights a week, I am so appreciative of the time we have. I miss her so on the days she is with her dad and I hate not being able to see her every day but the time we do have together fills me up.

There is also no guilt about hiring a babysitter when she is with her dad and I do something for myself.

I also love that my dd and I are the ones that work through issues and make decisions about how we want to live our lives.

qb
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#206 of 482 Old 12-09-2006, 12:28 AM
 
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Okay ladies. This is a winner. I read this poor woman's marital issue and thought, "I AM SOOOOO BLESSED."

Here:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=562725
OMG! I just read that! It brought back some horrible memories of married life.

I'm so happy to be single!
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#207 of 482 Old 12-09-2006, 12:37 AM
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No one here to make me struggle to have to preserve my identity and not try to make me melt into their ways and perceptions of the world.

Wow, as a married woman going through a rough patch, this one is making me cry. I'm constantly doing this with dh.

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
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#208 of 482 Old 12-23-2006, 03:27 PM
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I can make up, and participate in, silly games to make routine tasks fun without anyone telling me "that's ridiculous" and that I am childish (which is far better than being a grumpy-pants curmudgeon, in my book ).

The one that's been fun lately is on school mornings I carry DS from his bed to the couch, where we sit and snuggle for a few minutes. Then I get up and tell him in a mock serious voice, "I'm going to go get some coffee now. Whatever you do, don't you dare get dressed while I'm in the kitchen ." Then I start walking away and make sure I glance back over my shoulder a couple of times just to make sure he's following my "instructions". As soon as get around the corner I hear him giggle then run to the bedroom and pull open his drawers. He gets dressed quickly, there's no power struggle, and we both wind up laughing and smiling.

Okay, now who can pick up the most Legos in one minute !
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#209 of 482 Old 12-23-2006, 07:16 PM
 
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I love the fact when I am getting something out of a cupboard ds comes and hugs me and gives me tickles. It usually ends up a big tickle hug session on the kitchen floor and no one is asking "When are you ACTUALLY going to make dinner?"

I love the fact that ds and I have our own rythym.

Vanessa belly.gif, wife to Kev , mama to Byron (5) wild.gif and Billie (2) and  due in June
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#210 of 482 Old 01-09-2007, 02:53 PM
 
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WHY I LOVE BEING A SINGLE PARENT!!!
1. I don't have to share my son with anyone!
2. I get all my son's hugs, kisses, giggles, and smiles!
3. I can raise my son how ever I want and without daddy's bad influences
4. No other grandparents to tell me what I am and what I am not doing wrong
5. My nights belong to me and I dont have to worry about pleasing another
6. All the money in my account is mine!
7. I can buy my son, or myself anything I want without any critizem
8. I get to take my son everywhere with me, without any agrguement
9. I can live anywhere I want;can move anywhere I want
10. I never have to cook, because my son loves eating cearal, ready made foods, and TV dinners too

Brandy; Mother to Aspen (7/1996) and Ky (5/2006) and partner to Ryan

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