I'm Candy, 36 year old mama to Benjamin (9 mos) and step-mama to Amanda (13 yrs). Dh and I are currently separated. I lurk here more than I post, but the times I have posted (more frequently since dh moved out in Dec), I received such warmth and support that it's made this horrible time easier.
When ds was 6 weeks old, dh told me he wasn't happy with himself and that he also wasn't in love with me anymore. He is living on his own right now trying to figure himself out, take care of himself (he had never done that before), and see if he can/wants to rekindle his feelings for me. He works graveyard and takes care of ds during the day when I work. It's good for ds--he's always with one of us, but bad for us in terms of getting any time together to talk about what we want to have happen to our relationship.
I am working on being less of a caretaker, letting him find his own path (even if that leads him away from me), and finding my own path. I don't know what will happen to our marriage. I only know I seem to fluctuate from moment to moment, one minute feeling like it will be ok if we end up apart, the next moment in tears because I miss him so much and just want him to come home.
I have a masters in social work and work in social science/behavioral research at a large university. My step-daughter (dh considers me as much her mom as her bio-mom, and so she spends a lot of "his" time with me and ds) and my son are the lights of my life. I have friends and family who love me and are supportive and who are helping me through what is the saddest time of my life.
I'm glad to "meet" you all and I look forward to more posts with you.