my son is having a hard time ..wanting his daddy - Mothering Forums

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Old 09-04-2005, 02:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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he is nearing 3 and really attatched to me and his dad. we havn't lived with his dad since april, but he see's him often ( sometimes daily.. with weeks in between).. now whenever he isnt around elwynn cries for him and says " i need daddy" "want daddY" "daddy come back" its often in the evening around bed time or when he is mad at me.. or when he is hurt.. it makes me so sad. im so tired out these days and i find myself getting frustrated and angry at him when he does this, when i know that what he really needs is extra love.. im 7 months pregnant though and by the end of the day im sooo tired! i dont know how to explain to him in a way that he understands.. that even though daddy isnt here he still loves him.. anyone with any experience around this?

 

 

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Old 09-04-2005, 04:31 AM
 
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My dd is doing the same thing, I try to let her call him, any chance I can. He doesn't usually answer, but she leaves him odd rambling messages and stuff. I think it helps her a little. I also try to tell her when he's at work or sleeping, that way she can start to understand that at night daddy is working and in the mornings daddy is sleeping, its help minimalize it a bit. And I sked him to call her sometimes and for him to tell her his schedule too, so it doesn't seem like I'm making excuses for him. I hope you can figure something out for you ds. I think the phone calls would be a great idea.
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Old 09-04-2005, 01:19 PM
 
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If you could let him call, that would be great. Could you suggest drawing a picture or writing a letter that you could send? I have said to my kids at times that I don't know why his dad is busy and can't come. I have said that I miss daddy too, but he can't be with us right now. I think it's important to acknowledge your little one's feelings and do something that will help him feel like he's still connected to his dad. Perhaps looking at the sky and suggesting that his dad might do the same. Or that his dad is part of him and therefore even if he misses him, they are still connected? I don't know, just thinking as I type.

I hope you find something that will help. It's hard for kids to understand that dad has some emotional issues from his past that he hasn't healed which prevents him from being able to connect and really be there for his kid.

Hugs to both of you.
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Old 09-04-2005, 01:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thats a problem since he doesnt have a phone, or even a home right now.. he is basiclly traveling around and staying on friends couches.. so..

but thank you both for yur suggestions..

 

 

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Old 09-04-2005, 02:31 PM
 
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Oh, that sucks!
I guess the best you can do is to say that you really don't know where he is right now. Hold him & love him. I wish it was easier for your little one.
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