This is my fiirst post and I dont quite know all of the acronyms yet so forgive me for "longhand"...
Here is my situation: My son is 5 years old and I've raised him by myself. His "sperm donor" was an aquaintance who I did not love and was not in a position to be a good parent (in my opinion). He knows of Gabe but has never seen him (well-came to the hospital on the day of birth but thats it...).
I have never spoken ill of this man to my son. As Gabe has gotten older, he has requested more and more info on just why he doesnt have a father. When he was younger, I explained that all families are different, etc but that doesnt cut it anymore for him. At this time I have had to explain more about the way a child is made to him than a 5 year old typically knows.
Gabe says he understands that he is loved and that is the most important thing about families but he is still so frustrated. We live in an upper middle class area with mainly 2 parent households - everyone assumes he has a father. He has been questioned repeatedly by some children on why he has no father and some tactles older children have taken it upon themselves to inform him that "everyone" has a father. So my poor little guy is in a tough spot and I am afraid he is starting to be depressed and have low self esteem because of this.
I have tried to give him everything that I think would make his life happy and as "normal" as possible- Ive worked late nights so I could be home with him during the day, baked cookies, baseball games, camping trips etc. But the fact is that he wants a dad more than anything. Desite having close relationships with my step father and my brother , its not the same to him. I even tried Big brothers but he is too young for the program.
SO although I have not dated since my pregnancy (first I was to busy and preoccupied and now I am so scared because its been so long!)- I am determined to get back in the dating game this year. Maybe I will someday find a Dad for Gabe. HOWEVER, in the meantime I was wondering if anybody knows of any resources books, videos etc. that deal with this issue beyond the simplistic explanation of "families are different". Or perhaps even anyone whose child is different from his peers in some other way (handicap etc) and has dealt with these feelings of wanting to be like everyone else.
Thanks for listening!
Here is my situation: My son is 5 years old and I've raised him by myself. His "sperm donor" was an aquaintance who I did not love and was not in a position to be a good parent (in my opinion). He knows of Gabe but has never seen him (well-came to the hospital on the day of birth but thats it...).
I have never spoken ill of this man to my son. As Gabe has gotten older, he has requested more and more info on just why he doesnt have a father. When he was younger, I explained that all families are different, etc but that doesnt cut it anymore for him. At this time I have had to explain more about the way a child is made to him than a 5 year old typically knows.
Gabe says he understands that he is loved and that is the most important thing about families but he is still so frustrated. We live in an upper middle class area with mainly 2 parent households - everyone assumes he has a father. He has been questioned repeatedly by some children on why he has no father and some tactles older children have taken it upon themselves to inform him that "everyone" has a father. So my poor little guy is in a tough spot and I am afraid he is starting to be depressed and have low self esteem because of this.
I have tried to give him everything that I think would make his life happy and as "normal" as possible- Ive worked late nights so I could be home with him during the day, baked cookies, baseball games, camping trips etc. But the fact is that he wants a dad more than anything. Desite having close relationships with my step father and my brother , its not the same to him. I even tried Big brothers but he is too young for the program.
SO although I have not dated since my pregnancy (first I was to busy and preoccupied and now I am so scared because its been so long!)- I am determined to get back in the dating game this year. Maybe I will someday find a Dad for Gabe. HOWEVER, in the meantime I was wondering if anybody knows of any resources books, videos etc. that deal with this issue beyond the simplistic explanation of "families are different". Or perhaps even anyone whose child is different from his peers in some other way (handicap etc) and has dealt with these feelings of wanting to be like everyone else.
Thanks for listening!