Going for Full Custody - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 3 Old 01-12-2002, 07:39 PM - Thread Starter
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I have decided to go for Full Custody of Owen just as a matter of safety for myself.

Tim is moving to Chicago, and I want to make sure that he wouldn't at all be able to just up and leave with Owen. It's my understanding that he would *legally* have just as much right as I as having him as it stands right now, and I couldn't fathom him taking Owen along with him when he goes...

How do I go about doing this? Do I need a lawyer? Are there costs involved?

I can't trust Tim for anything. Everything out of his mouth spoken to me has been a lie, so I'm not going to take at face value that he wouldn't just take Owen whenever her feels like it...

He's not going to like this, but I have to look out for myself. I don't think he'd really contest my custody, as I've had Owen living with me since birth, and for 2 years without Tim under the same roof...

Any info would be appreciated. We've never been married, but his name is on Owen's birth certificate, if that makes a difference.

Thanks in advance!


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#2 of 3 Old 01-13-2002, 09:09 AM
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You will probably need a lawyer, unless Owen's father just signs whatever you put in front of him.

FULL custody is almost impossible to be awarded. What you will most likely get, and I recommend going for (so you don't look vindictive) is 'shared parental rights and responsibilities' with you as the "primary' caregiver, and minimal visitation for Owens father ( like when he can make it to your house, not shipping Owen to him). Shared parental rights and responsibilities means that the father has access to school, medical, religious, mental health , etc. recoerds, and CAN play a role in those areas, if he wants to. It also means that child support are court ordered. The visitation is the thing that you need to think about, and fight against.

If you have been documenting visits and contact between Owen and his father, that would be a big help for you. If not, try starting now, and maybe write up a brief summary of past visiting norms.

I wish you lots of strength, and wish for you to have no fear in this fight. Keep healthy, get lots of sleepand try not to worry about things that you don't KNOW will happen.

Lots of love,


proverbs 29:7 the righteous care about justice for the poor, but the wicked have no such concern.

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#3 of 3 Old 02-23-2002, 12:20 PM
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I have been, and am again, in your shoes! I understand exactly where you're at. The only difference is I don't have the father's name on either birth certificate. I am currently getting divorced and YES YOU CAN get full custody--it's called full physical custody, etc., and YES, you should get a lawyer. The costs would amount to lawyer fees and court costs.
I understand about not trusting the male...the one I am divorcing is a trustworthy as a serpent. He even lies to his own lawyer! If your gut tells you to get full custody, do it. Trust your instincts.
Most lawyers offer a free initial consultation, so at least you could get some info before you start anything.
Good luck, and God Bless!
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