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#1 of 56 Old 02-13-2006, 11:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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What would you do? I need some guidance, and insight…

I’m feeling overwhelmed, sad, annoyed, and scared. Today, my daughter’s father said that he would be coming to visit her either Friday or Saturday (he lives about 9 hours away driving in the same state, Cali). This has happened about once a month or two since dd was born 10 months ago as he refuses to agree to a consistent visitation schedule. He’ll come down on a day or twos notice and stay (not with me) for as long as he wants. Usually, me and baby will meet up with him at a park or some other neutral location each day that he visits and he’ll spend 4 or 5 hours with her—until he decides to go. So far his visits have ranged from 3 to 5 days. So, anyways, he called today and said that this time he wanted to take the baby to the beach, alone—and inside I’m freaking out and at the same time thinking “here we go, this was destined to happen sooner or later.” Now, some of you may be thinking, and rightly so, What’s the big deal—he’s her father, he wants to take her to the beach to spend some quality time—pack up the milk and let ‘em go. And I wish it was that simple. I wish he and I had such a relationship. But, I’m anxious because I do not trust the man, I don’t trust that he will bring her back at all. For example, during our conversation I entertained the idea that he could take her alone, I asked, “Okay, how long do you think ya’ll are gonna hang out for.” (She’s 10 months old, still breastfed and has never been alone with him.) And he said, “I don’t know” and he got indignant that I even mentioned the question of time, he doesn’t believe that I should put time limits on his time with dd. I, on the other hand, don’t see anything wrong with agreeing to a pick-up time and a drop-off time, that way I can plan my day accordingly, and reduce my worry… Anyway, as the conversation progressed he says that not only does he want to take her to the beach but he wants to take her to the Bob Marley Festival in Los Angeles (we live two hours away) as well. My gut- reaction is “Hell No!”

There is soo much history that I would have to explain for you all to understand why I feel so uneasy about this. But basically, this man has showed very little respect for me ever since I told him that I was pregnant over a year ago. There hasn’t been physical abuse, but there has been emotional. I broke up with him when I was 8 weeks pregnant; then moved back to my hometown at four months, so that I could be in a place where I felt emotionally and physically safe. When we broke up, he basically said that he wanted nothing to do with me and the baby; that he would disappear [I wish he would have kept his word]. Throughout the pregnancy he would harass me and my family on the phone, tell me how horrible I was for ‘leaving him’, threaten to take the baby, not to mention that before I left he broke into my home, and stalked me at my job. Let’s just say that when this man is hurt he shows little consideration for other’s feelings or boundaries.
So now he has decided that wants to be a father and I respect that. I want dd to have a relationship with him. But I have no way of enforcing any kind of time schedule and it’s scary for me—cuz he pretty much has shown that he will do what he wants, when he wants.

I have been holding off getting a formal visitation/custody agreement for many reasons. First, I’m afraid that the court will grant 50/50 custody then I’ll have to (worst case scenario) live with not seeing dd half the year, cuz her father lives in a different city. But at least it’ll be an enforceable agreement. Second, since I rarely hear from her father, I live in this fantasy world most of the time in which he doesn’t really exist, in which just me and dd and we're struggling but happy. The fantasy gets shattered when he calls up 'out of the blue'—and for the most part, our conversations (if you can call ‘em that) are very intense and stress me out. Third, her father has pretty much made it clear (empty threat? Who knows?) that if I file for child support or anything involving the courts he will interpret that action as a declaration of war. That intimidates me because this man operates on a different wave length… Basically, what he is saying is that he will not respect any court order.

Anyways, has anyone else experienced these kinds of fears. Not the sadness of being apart from dd; but the fear that you may never see her again?
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#2 of 56 Old 02-14-2006, 12:14 AM
 
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Originally Posted by esk8partist
What would you do?

Anyways, has anyone else experienced these kinds of fears. Not the sadness of being apart from dd; but the fear that you may never see her again?
First off, there is NO WAY i'd let her go to the Bob Marley Festival. 2 hours away drive time is just tooooo muuuchhh IMO for a 10 month old. I know you mentioned that you don't have a court order and that would make me even more anxious. I'll totally admit i'm a control freak, but if your'e sensing all your parental red flags going up in your head, i'd tell you to listen to them. If you don't want her to go... don't let her.

I hope you find the answer you're seeking. Perhaps you can come to some temporary agreement about specific drop off and pick up times, or maybe a mutual comprimise about the event in question? I don't think it's being unreasonable at all for you to want approx pick up and drop off times!!! You can't just stop your whole entire life because your ex just happens to reappear in the picture again. It seems like you're doing a great job of fostering a relationship between your daughter and her father, but I don't think you're requests are unreasonable whatsoever!

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#3 of 56 Old 02-14-2006, 12:37 AM
 
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I would not let him take her alone, if I were you. She is very young still. Without a court order, he could go off with her and it may not be considered illegal. You have every reason to be nervous. Trust yourself.

First of all, 4-5 hours is a long time to be away from you (even longer if he drives 2 hours to a concert and then has to bring her back). You DD needs time to get used to her Dad, and I don't think this is the way to do it. I would suggest meeting somewhere, like your place. Then, let him take care of her while you are still around. He can change her diaper, feed her, get her to sleep, etc. If he can do that, then I would work up to longer visits and maybe consider unsupervised visits. Taking a 10 month old to the beach for hours alone is not my idea of an ideal visitation. Babies don't do great with bright sunlight and loud noises. A Bob Marley festival is just insane. That is NO place for a baby. The contact high is enough of a reason to keep kids away.

I would consider going to court to get a formal order. I doubt that you would have a 50/50 custody situation. Joint legal custody is common, but joint physical is not. Especially, given the fact that he hasn't been consistent with visitation to date. I would talk to a lawyer, if possible. Good luck, mama!!!
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#4 of 56 Old 02-14-2006, 12:58 AM
 
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I would also suggest trust your instincts...if you worry there's a chance that he would take your daughter, even if just for a few extra hours, that's dangerous and scary, and neither you nor your daughter should be subjected to it.

Do you have anyone you both know who could act as a supervisor and go with him somewhere? Someone who would have contact with you via cell phone? Someone you trust more?

Also, is he in town to visit his daughter or go to the Bob Marley festival? If he's visiting for her, then he'll do what he can to see her. If he's visiting for himself and just wants to drag her along, he's already setting himself up for a bad experience and one which disregards her needs.

I would suggest, especially if he's going to be in town more than one day, that you set up a plan with him to learn more about her and her needs on a slower basis, with you around or nearby, and perhaps (if all seems well and he's seen her consistently for a few days) then allow a short (2 hours MAX) unsupervised visit. And the test will be, has he been cooperative and trustworthy? Because let's face it, if he's not willing to earn your trust, he doesn't deserve your trust.

Also in regard to custody, you may be able to still get full legal custody as well as full physical, because of the distance between you and the lack of regular involvement. I got "joint custody with impasse decision making power" which means I have to involve him in decisions, but if we disagree, my word carries. It's possible! and our situation involved a relatively involved dad, but a big geographical distance, so that alone was enough. Having a court order for custody will give you piece of mind and also legal protection...and the more he "balks" the more likely he is to go to jail over it. The courts don't like someone who breaks their rules.

Good luck!
Jennifer
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#5 of 56 Old 02-14-2006, 01:05 AM
 
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Originally Posted by annarbor931
Without a court order, he could go off with her and it may not be considered illegal. You have every reason to be nervous. Trust yourself.
BIG FAT YEAH THAT.

Don't do it.

If it were me, I'd talk to a lawyer, but not tell him of course, since he'll interpret it as a "declaration of war."

I would just refuse to let him take her alone, at all.

If he wants to change that, HE will have to get a lawyer.

Good luck!! Trust your instincts.
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#6 of 56 Old 02-14-2006, 01:06 AM
 
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She is a breastfed baby? There is no way the dad will be granted 50% custody of a breastfed baby -- I would take this to the court...along with proof of him breaking in to your place, stalking you, witnesses...just get your ducks in a row. Even if he was an all around wonderful guy -- I doubt he would be granted any solo visitation time until the baby is weaned. Keep the breast milk aflowing and take his butt to court! Just my $.02 -- not meant to offend

--Amanda
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#7 of 56 Old 02-14-2006, 01:12 AM
 
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I agree that the likelihood is *great* that you would end up with custody in a court battle. I worried about this when I took my babydaddy to court, but everyone I spoke to said it was uncomplicated, as the baby had lived with me her whole life. He didn't have a chance in hell of getting custody unless he could prove me an unfit mother (which takes hard evidence, not just a list of allegations). Things are more complex if the parents have been living together, but in your case, you are her sole caregiver. They won't change this, especially for a breastfed baby, unless there is a drastic reason to. And apparently, the younger the baby, the less visitation he will likely get.

I would talk to a lawyer. There are usually family law info centres in every city, and they will give you info for free. It will likely make you feel LOADS better.
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#8 of 56 Old 02-14-2006, 01:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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wow. thank you all soooo much for your advice. my instincts tell me to take preventative measures. i knew that i would have to get involved with the legal system sooner or later. i guess i hoped that we come to comprime on our own--but you need a mutually respectful and trusting relationship for that to happen... i should get this taken care of now while she's young. i know i'll get flamed by him; but like so many of you said I will feel more at ease knowing i have proof of my rights and our agreements.

question. in the event that a parent violates a visitation schedule (drops off late or not at all), how does the other parent enforce the order? ---this is a question for a lawyer, i know, i have sooo many questions.
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#9 of 56 Old 02-14-2006, 01:52 AM
 
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My understanding is you call the police. Failing to return a child at the end of visitation is a violation of a legal agreement (provided you have one!!) and it is kidnapping.

This is why you would have so much more protection once you get something legal in place. Right now, at least where I live, if there is nothing on paper, either parent has the right to keep the child and the police won't intervene.

Once custody and visitation is established, the parent has to comply with it.
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#10 of 56 Old 02-14-2006, 11:01 AM
 
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Yes, I was told that if my ex didn't bring back the kids when there was no agreement, there was nothing I could do. Even the cops wouldn't go after him because technically, they are his kids too. So it is really important to have an agreement in place.

I think it's completely okay to say no to this plan. Your child is not used to him, she doesn't remember him at this age, doesn't know him. His plans are innappropriate for her age, too far and unacceptable. Worse case scenario, he gets mad and threatens to take you to court for custody.

It would be better if you file for custody first though.
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#11 of 56 Old 02-14-2006, 12:50 PM
 
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I want to chime in to add: Don't let him take the baby! First of all, you can't trust him. And the fact that he's resentful that you'd like to know how long he intends to take her for....not good. You are her mother and sole caregiver; he should certainly respect that you need to know!

And a Bob Marley festival?? What sort of place is that for a baby? Can't he do that with a friend or something?

I myself have not gone to court for the very reasons you mention. And my stbx IS in my son's life...he visits him HERE (SOMETIMES to places right here in town, the playground or whatever)...in fact we still are legally married (haven't lived together for 3.5 years though). I do 100% of childcare, and I do not trust my stbx. I won't let our son go without anything in writing.

Don't let him pressure you. Be pleasant, be brief, be firm. If he wants anything, he'll have to go to court for it. And even if it did that, since he's not even around most of the time, you have a good leg to stand on. Good luck with this!
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#12 of 56 Old 02-14-2006, 01:18 PM
 
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Just curious, did he sign the Birth Cert.? If he hasn't, he has no legal rights. He can request to be added, but that means the ball is in his court to do all of this. ANd it means that taking her during a visit is kidnapping (in most, but not all, states) If he is on the BC (or was married to you when she was conceived which gives automatic paternity) then he could take off with her during an unsupervised visit legally, and you'd have to fight to get her back which could take weeks and would require them finding him to enforce a court order. Personally (just my 2 cents), I'd tell him that he needs to go through the court to get visits becuz you aren't comfortable supervising (since he's obviously stalked you before and is being controlling) and you won't let him have her alone. Let him make the efforts and find out how quick he may just give up since this would mean an order for CS as well. Or if he's as anti-social pers. type as he soudns, he may go beserk-o either way, and then you're better off knowning and getting through it now. Good luck!!
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#13 of 56 Old 02-15-2006, 08:34 PM
 
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"Third, her father has pretty much made it clear (empty threat? Who knows?) that if I file for child support or anything involving the courts he will interpret that action as a declaration of war. That intimidates me because this man operates on a different wave length… Basically, what he is saying is that he will not respect any court order."

If he wants visitation, let him go to court and file for visitation. Frankly if I were you in this situation, I would file for an order of protection from him. If he is not paying support and is unwilling to agree to a set visitation schedule, I would not feel bad about not letting him see her at all. And an unsupervised visit? No way.

Katie, mama to one big boy (6/03) and one little boy (12/08).
It is never the wrong time to do the right thing.
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#14 of 56 Old 02-16-2006, 01:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Just curious, did he sign the Birth Cert.?
no and we were never married.



Quote:
Originally Posted by misslotus
And a Bob Marley festival?? What sort of place is that for a baby?
and get this...i did some research on this and the marley festival he wants to tkae to is not in los angeles, but in TIJUANA, MEXIcO! does he think i'm stupid or does he just enjoy aggravating me with stoopid questions? knowing the situation between us does he really think i would go for this?

honestly, i have no problem with takning children to certain musical festivals; many especially outdoors ones are family friendly. i take dd out to concerts in the park all the time. but this festival is indoors, all that smoke up in there, crowds of people, AND in a foriegn country....there's no way i'd take my baby there...let alone, agree to let him take her there alone.

he got irrate at my mom today on the phone after asking her why i didn't trust him. he says ALL he wants to do is take his daughter for a "few days." she's 10 months old and breastfeeding and she doesn't know you well yet, despite how difficult that is fotr you to accept, can you step out of your pain at all and see the needs and feelings of the child who is not a pawn... geez, i am not looking forward to dealing with this madness for the next 18 years... okay, that was officially my first rant on mdc!
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#15 of 56 Old 02-16-2006, 02:39 AM
 
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The fact that it is out of the country is the perfect excuse, without even going into what's wrong with him having visitation. It is very weird that he wants to take her to a concert anyway.... Does he have a new girlfriend or something? He sounds very difficult and it seems like an off the wall request.
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#16 of 56 Old 02-16-2006, 03:17 AM
 
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Wow, that sounds so scary and just sent up a million red flags!! A few DAYS???? when he's barely been in her life? And in that sort of situation??? And another COUNTRY????

I just got this horrible chill that he'd, I don't know, try to sell her or something!!! I hope you don't mind me sharing that, but I'm soooo glad that you are sticking to your guns.

Also, if he's not a legal parent, he has no legal rights. I'd definitely force him to go to court for visitation (and his cs order ) rather than deal with the trouble he's caused and the fears he gives you (and all of us, sheesh!!)

And re-reading your first post, it just scares me that he wasn't upfront about his intentions even and was just going to "take her to the beach" meanwhile giving you a heart attack when he didn't return for days. Does he just want to get himself arrested for kidnapping or what???

Now I'm gonna have to figure out how to wind down to get some sleep!
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#17 of 56 Old 02-16-2006, 10:41 AM
 
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I'd also document all of this. How he started out saying one thing and how it kept changing. You might need that info one day.
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#18 of 56 Old 02-16-2006, 11:15 AM
 
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He clearly has NO clue. No one who actually cares for a 10 month old would take them to a Bob Marley Festival. An outdoor concert in the park is one thing--something family friendly and for kids. I would surely do that. But, I would not want my first outing to be something like that. He would be back in no time. I bet he has a GF or something--it sounds like he is trying to play the role of Dad for a day. So annoying!!!
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#19 of 56 Old 02-17-2006, 12:40 PM
 
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Honestly my advice is that if you don't want to end up in court you should try to give him what he wants and compromise. I don't see what is wrong with taking her to a music festival...my guess is he won't get to enjoy the music but welcome to fatherhood dad!

I think you SHOULD get a custody and visitation agreement and cs worked out but so long as that remains something you are afraid of you need to try to meet his legally reasonable request for unsupervised vistiation (with an infant it is usually granted for a day but not an overnight)

I think it will be best for your daughter the more quality time he gets with her at this age without you so he can learn what being a father is about. My guess is with you around you are doing a lot of the work of being a parent and he is just having fun? You don't want to be posting in a year about his bad parenting choices since he never really got a chance to get a clue now.

Best of luck in your choice.
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#20 of 56 Old 02-17-2006, 12:50 PM
 
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First of all i'm so sorry you are going through this. My DD had to start going overnights because of a court order every other wknd when she was about 11 months old

If there is no court order and he has not signed the birth certificate he has no rights. You know he's the father and it's your call how you want to handle things.... keep making it your call and DO NOT let her go alone with him... it doesn't sound right at all. You don't even have to let him see her at all if you choose not to. He says that if you go after CS that is declaring war? Well, if he wants anything established saying he's the father that has to be done somehow and in getting that done he will more than likely have to start paying CS. So right now you have the upper hand here, if he wants to see her on his terms he will have to take you to court... then they will make him pay CS

+ + =
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#21 of 56 Old 02-17-2006, 01:25 PM
 
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Honestly my advice is that if you don't want to end up in court you should try to give him what he wants and compromise. I don't see what is wrong with taking her to a music festival...my guess is he won't get to enjoy the music but welcome to fatherhood dad!

I think you SHOULD get a custody and visitation agreement and cs worked out but so long as that remains something you are afraid of you need to try to meet his legally reasonable request for unsupervised vistiation (with an infant it is usually granted for a day but not an overnight)

I think it will be best for your daughter the more quality time he gets with her at this age without you so he can learn what being a father is about. My guess is with you around you are doing a lot of the work of being a parent and he is just having fun? You don't want to be posting in a year about his bad parenting choices since he never really got a chance to get a clue now.

Best of luck in your choice.
I'm sorry, but I can't believe I'm reading this, especially at MDC!

You actually think that it is best for a 10 month old who has virtually NO relationship with her father, is breastfeeding and is at a critical time for developing attachments with her mother - to be away from her sole caregiver and provider (not to mention source of nourishment) to go off with a man she does not know, not be able to nurse for comfort or nourishment, and be allowed to LEAVE THE COUNTRY with this man who actually has no rights, and once out of the US, could disappear forever?????

If you read anything about attachment, if you find a good child psychologist, and if you read anything from LLL or Attachment Parenting International, it is HIGHLY recommended at this stage if there is to be visitation, it is to be short, frequent visits. If the father wants to really be involved, GREAT. But he needs to start by establishing a relationship with his child and being there daily for an hour or so before he could ever take her out alone. There should be no interruption of breastfeeding, no lenghty visits away, etc. A full day (or more) away from mom at this point could create some serious attachment disorders and other developmental problems for the child.

I cannot believe that anyone here would suggest that a man who has been only minimally involved in a child's life should be allowed to take that child out of the country. I cannot believe that anyone here would suggest that a breastfed, attached child, is best off being taken away from mom for a full day when she doesn't even know this person.

I am all for dads being involved but what this guy is proposing is so self-centered and doesn't even consider the child's needs at all. Men who really want to be dads are willing to do what it takes to make sure their children are number one. What this man is suggesting is completely unacceptable.
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#22 of 56 Old 02-17-2006, 01:40 PM
 
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MommyMine, are you a single parent at all? I just seriously cannot fathom a single parent who condones any advice to let their 10 month old BABY go OUT OF THE COUNTRY for a bob marley concert!!!!
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#23 of 56 Old 02-17-2006, 01:40 PM
 
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Honestly my advice is that if you don't want to end up in court you should try to give him what he wants and compromise.
Well, having been thru this I must say ending up in court might be the best thing that can happen. I know several mamas who were terrified of court, and gave their babyfathers way more access, and accepted way less child support, than they needed to because of this fear.

This guy sounds threatening and unsafe. And he sounds like he has no idea where his rights end and his responsibilities begin. I think this mama is in a good position to get what she wants and hold him accountable in this arrangement.

And why are we now blaming fathers who lack parenting skills on mamas? Don't we get blamed for enough already? :
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#24 of 56 Old 02-17-2006, 01:48 PM
 
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this caught my eye and I wanted to respond.

there would be no way in hell I would let this man take my child anywhere alone.

your daughter is still breastfed for one, and she has never been alone with him. I see red flags all over this situation. huge ones. the way it looks now it appears he has no "legal" claim to her. who cares if you go to court? he has not established a good pattern of parenting thus far. his ideas to take her to a bob marley festival in Mexico is crazy. I think for him to even suggest this is nutty If he really cared about his child I think he would care more about her developmental stage, causing her attachment problems and taking her away from her food source.

the whole mexico thing scares me and i don't know you or this man. I would be scared to meet this dude alone with just me and the baby.

I pray you trust your instincts and say hell must freeze over first.
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#25 of 56 Old 02-17-2006, 02:15 PM
 
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Originally Posted by annarbor931
I would not let him take her alone, if I were you. She is very young still. Without a court order, he could go off with her and it may not be considered illegal. You have every reason to be nervous. Trust yourself.
YES he could take off with her and you would have a hard time proving that he isn't entitled to do so without anything in writing. My ex took off with DS and went across the country to visit his family for 7 days without my permission. I pleaded with him not to but was told by the court and two lawyers that since we had nothing in writing he legally had just as much right to DS as I did. : We are also still legally married so I'm not sure if that makes a difference or not.

Your ex cannot just come and go as he pleases, not pay child support, and expect you to just say "OK, take her as long as you want, wherever you want". From what you say, he is pretty much a stranger to your DD. She is still so young, she probably doesn't even remember him when he comes around. Tell him no. If he wants visitation have him go to court and try for it. He needs to prove himself worthy of visitation first. Truct your instincts. They are telling you no for a reason.

Zen doula-mama to my spirited DS1 (2/03), my CHD (TAPVR) warrior DS2 (6/07) & a gentle baby girl (8/09)
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#26 of 56 Old 02-17-2006, 02:24 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jilian
YES he could take off with her and you would have a hard time proving that he isn't entitled to do so without anything in writing.
Yeah that.

MommyMine, I think you should be more cautious about offering advice. What you have suggested is dangerous for this mama and her child. :
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#27 of 56 Old 02-17-2006, 02:53 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MommyMine
Honestly my advice is that if you don't want to end up in court you should try to give him what he wants and compromise. I don't see what is wrong with taking her to a music festival...my guess is he won't get to enjoy the music but welcome to fatherhood dad!
Okay, I am REALLY hoping that you just skimmed over her posts. Seriously. The man wants to take the BREASTFEEDING infant to Tijuana, Mexico for "a few days" without telling the child's mother WHERE he was really going nor when he would be back. He would NOT have enough breastmilk for "a few days" because he LIED about how long he was taking her - and he has never spent more then a few HOURS with the child - supervised.

Tell me, if an acquaintence showed up at your house and wanted to take your child for a "few days" to Tijuana, would you hand your child over? Or better yet, if your husband said he was taking your child to the beach for a few hours and vanished OUT OF THE COUNTRY for days with your child - would you be OKAY with that? I sure as hell wouldn't!
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#28 of 56 Old 02-17-2006, 04:09 PM
 
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I think you need to talk to a lawyer. You need to get some things in writing to CYA. You should be getting child support too. It sounds like your ex is trying to bully you and threaten you into submission. Don't let him. Find out what your rights are. I cannot imagine him getting any visitation at this point. Your child is still so young, being BF, and hardly ever sees ex. I cannot believe he was going to LEAVE THE COUNTRY with your child without even telling you. That right there is reason enough for you to NEVER allow unsupervised visitation.

Zen doula-mama to my spirited DS1 (2/03), my CHD (TAPVR) warrior DS2 (6/07) & a gentle baby girl (8/09)
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#29 of 56 Old 02-17-2006, 04:19 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MommyMine
Honestly my advice is that if you don't want to end up in court you should try to give him what he wants and compromise. I don't see what is wrong with taking her to a music festival...my guess is he won't get to enjoy the music but welcome to fatherhood dad!

I think you SHOULD get a custody and visitation agreement and cs worked out but so long as that remains something you are afraid of you need to try to meet his legally reasonable request for unsupervised vistiation (with an infant it is usually granted for a day but not an overnight)

I think it will be best for your daughter the more quality time he gets with her at this age without you so he can learn what being a father is about. My guess is with you around you are doing a lot of the work of being a parent and he is just having fun? You don't want to be posting in a year about his bad parenting choices since he never really got a chance to get a clue now.

Best of luck in your choice.
Did you read this whole thread? Wait, did you read ANY of it?! Her ex asked to take the child to the "beach", wouldn't give her a time frame, then later admitted that he was gonna take her to a bob marley festival 2 hours away - which again turned out to be a LIE. This man, who hardly even sees the child wants to take her out of the country. God only knows what he has planned when he is out of the country. He is proven to be a liar and untrustworthy. Would you allow a person like this to leave the country with your infant for an undisclosed amount of time? Come on, that has to be the WORST advice I've EVER heard. Had she listened to you, she may have never seen her child again.

Zen doula-mama to my spirited DS1 (2/03), my CHD (TAPVR) warrior DS2 (6/07) & a gentle baby girl (8/09)
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#30 of 56 Old 02-17-2006, 04:24 PM
 
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