TANF in TX - is it worth it? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 21 Old 06-21-2006, 12:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Can anyone tell me how hard it was for you to get TANF as a single parent?

In texas we have to allow the state to collect child support in order to get TANF, and I don't want to do that {used a mutual friend as a sperm donor, will not be identified as the father}. Is it possible to get on TANF without disclosing the bio father's identity? How much hassle did they give you?

I've also heard they tend to send CPS around to check on all the single parents - if this is the case then I'd rather do without the $180 a month I'd get. It's not critical for me to get tanf at the moment, but it would help pay the bills and the mortgage off a bit sooner.

what other issues have you had with TANF?
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#2 of 21 Old 06-21-2006, 01:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by dakotamidnight
Can anyone tell me how hard it was for you to get TANF as a single parent?

In texas we have to allow the state to collect child support in order to get TANF, and I don't want to do that {used a mutual friend as a sperm donor, will not be identified as the father}. Is it possible to get on TANF without disclosing the bio father's identity? How much hassle did they give you?
I'm sorry to intrude, but are you not disclosing the father b/c he won't acknowledge paternity or you just used the friends sperm to inseminate yourself? I think those two totally warrant different responses.

I don't know about Texas but I believe they will attempt to go after the father, especialy when you're receiving actual cash benifits. I believe its just becasue if they DO find the father, he's responsible for paying back the state all the money that they gave to you while you were on TANF.

I just know that before my daughter could be accepted on Medicaid, we had to fax in a copy of our court order stating that Child Support was established and he was paying regularly so the state wouldn't "go after him" to be reimbursed their costs for my daughters healthcare.
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#3 of 21 Old 06-21-2006, 01:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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miss - he is just a sperm donor who I used to inseminate myself - but we signed an agreement prior to him donating that renders him not responsible for paternity, etc and gives him no rights as to visitation, etc. So according to the agreement, I am not allowed to release his name, details, etc as the father. I'm fairly sure he would accept paternity if need be, but I'd much rather not go against the agreement we both signed - It would cause more trouble that it would be worth.

On the birth certificate, the father's info will be left blank, if that helps.
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#4 of 21 Old 06-21-2006, 04:12 PM
 
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Hmmm...you might contact an atty, because in my experience, TX really does go after the father. I'm not sure in a situation like yours, though. Wish I could help. When I tried to get TANF, I was denied, they said you can have NO income, so hope your experience is better.
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#5 of 21 Old 06-21-2006, 05:43 PM
 
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From what I hear, TANF has to be paid back. That is why they try to go after the father and get CS, so they can garnish the CS and get their money back. Just tell them that you were artificially inseminated and the father does not have any parental rights, and see what they say. Most people who use AI do not even know the father's identity, so maybe they will assume the same with you. Don't offer up any extra info unless they ask for it.

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#6 of 21 Old 06-21-2006, 10:30 PM
 
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First of all, you chose to have a child knowing that you would be on your own. That's fine, I support your choice and I'm sure you will be a wonderful mom. But, why would you do that if you think you can't afford to have a child?

Second, you say you don't really need it. This really gets me. If you don't need it why are you applying for it? It's called Temorary assistance for NEEDY families. You're not entitled to assistance just because you qualify. I think what you're trying to do is abusing the system.

Alright flame me for speaking my mind, I've got thick skin.
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#7 of 21 Old 06-21-2006, 10:50 PM
 
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Originally Posted by bailey228
First of all, you chose to have a child knowing that you would be on your own. That's fine, I support your choice and I'm sure you will be a wonderful mom. But, why would you do that if you think you can't afford to have a child?
Wow. I don't think we can judge her decision to have a child if we've never been in her shoes. We do not know her situation, for all we know she could have been very well off and fell upon hard times. I was VERY financially stable when my DS was born, now I'm not - things can change.

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#8 of 21 Old 06-21-2006, 11:43 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jilian
Wow. I don't think we can judge her decision to have a child if we've never been in her shoes. We do not know her situation, for all we know she could have been very well off and fell upon hard times. I was VERY financially stable when my DS was born, now I'm not - things can change.
Well if you see I'm not judging her choice to have a child, I said I supported her choice, its that she says she doesnt need it but wants to apply anyways.
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#9 of 21 Old 06-21-2006, 11:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm not so much asking for now, but as a future reference.

I live with my parents {Both disabled}, and if something were to happen to my father {main income}, then I'd need it and fairly quickly. Given his health is quite poor, I like to know ahead of time what aid might be available to me. Our income isn't the greatest, but we get by. Do I REALLY need TANF at the moment - no. But I could at any time.

And yes, I did choose to have a child without being in the best sitituation financially. However, when a Dr tells you that if you want to have children while you can still run around with them, you had better do so now, It kinda overrules the financial situtation. I have a severe back problem, and could end up paralyzed from pinches nerves at any time, with the likelyhood increasing as I age. I also wanted my father to get to meet his grandchild - call it selfish if you must.
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#10 of 21 Old 06-22-2006, 11:35 AM
 
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tell them you got drunk one night and slept around and didn't know the guys names or how many you slept with. they will think you are a slut but they will already look down on you for applying.

that's what a couple of my friends did to get medicaid when they didn't want the fathers involved.

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#11 of 21 Old 06-22-2006, 04:46 PM
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Originally Posted by CalebsMama05
tell them you got drunk one night and slept around and didn't know the guys names or how many you slept with. they will think you are a slut but they will already look down on you for applying.

that's what a couple of my friends did to get medicaid when they didn't want the fathers involved.
The problem with that is if there is ever a need to find the father, ie-genetic disorder, organ donation, father is finally wealthy and you want him to support his kids, etc. and if they find out, they WILL charge you with fraud.
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#12 of 21 Old 06-22-2006, 04:49 PM
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Originally Posted by dakotamidnight
I live with my parents {Both disabled}, and if something were to happen to my father {main income}, then I'd need it and fairly quickly.
This might sound harsh, but can you get life insurance for him? Yes, it might cost more due to his disablility, but in the end, it would cover the cost of a funeral and with a big enough policy, can buy a home for you and your mom.

FWIW, every time I worked, I always got life insurance on myself so my children would not be destitute if I were to die.
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#13 of 21 Old 06-22-2006, 05:35 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MamaInTheBoonies
The problem with that is if there is ever a need to find the father, ie-genetic disorder, organ donation, father is finally wealthy and you want him to support his kids, etc. and if they find out, they WILL charge you with fraud.
This seems unlikely, given she actually does know who the father is. The gov't. doesn't get *that* involved. She wouldn't need to "find the father". She knows where he is already.

I would just tell them I don't know who the father is. Keep in mind that they will most likely have you sign something saying that. Of course, they don't have time to check up on lies, etc. You'd basically have to out yourself or have someone turn you in to get caught. So, if you do this, keep it to yourself. Loose lips sink ships and all that.

Good luck. I would ask ppl in my area these sorts of questions. Every county in the state might have a different reputation and treat ppl differently. And, I know every case worker is different.
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#14 of 21 Old 06-22-2006, 05:58 PM
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This seems unlikely, given she actually does know who the father is. The gov't. doesn't get *that* involved. She wouldn't need to "find the father".
I was talking about the pp, and for the sake of other mama's reading this thread.
And, yes, they do get that involved, as I went through that sh!t years ago. I barely escaped being charged with a felony.

I was in an abusive relationship and the CS officer told me to lie and say I was at a party and didn't know who the father was, so i did.
CPS used it against me.
Then when I tried to get my dd enrolled so that CPS couldn't take her from me, they used the same thing as proof that I lied and threatened me with 5 years in prison.
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#15 of 21 Old 06-22-2006, 08:23 PM
 
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Okay...I think CPS and TANF are 2 different gov't entities. I don't know why CPS was involved in your life, but CPS doesn't get involved in random TANF cases. It sounds like you lied about the father, CPS got involved in your life somehow, then, CPS found out you knew who the father was (I imagine b/c you lived with him or something? I mean, why would CPS even care unless he was in the household or intimately involved in your life in some way?) and tried to intimidate you as a result.

I surely hope the OP isn't going to have CPS in her life. Her baby isn't even born yet.
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#16 of 21 Old 06-23-2006, 01:48 AM
 
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I haven't looked this up lately so my info may be outdated but as of a few years ago, a contract drawn up between a private doner and mother before the birth would not relieve him of parental rights or responsibilities. When I looked it up in UT's law library, the information I found said that you had to file a dissolution of parental rights after the baby was born. might want to check it out just in case.
If you do this (or find out for sure that you do not have to) then when applying for aid (because they will ask for medicaid and food stamps too) you can state that the father's rights and responsibilities have been voluntarily terminated.

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#17 of 21 Old 06-23-2006, 03:16 AM
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Originally Posted by Lucy VanPelt


Okay...I think CPS and TANF are 2 different gov't entities. I don't know why CPS was involved in your life, but CPS doesn't get involved in random TANF cases. It sounds like you lied about the father, CPS got involved in your life somehow, then, CPS found out you knew who the father was (I imagine b/c you lived with him or something? I mean, why would CPS even care unless he was in the household or intimately involved in your life in some way?) and tried to intimidate you as a result.

I surely hope the OP isn't going to have CPS in her life. Her baby isn't even born yet.
No, CPS used the false statement about me at a party and not knowing who the father was as a way of saying I was an irresponsible parent and should have my children taken.
FWIW, I never partied, never drank or did drugs. I just did not want him in my life nor my child's life. His parents were wealthy and had already gotten his 2 previous children.
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#18 of 21 Old 06-23-2006, 03:32 AM
 
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Originally Posted by teachermom
I haven't looked this up lately so my info may be outdated but as of a few years ago, a contract drawn up between a private doner and mother before the birth would not relieve him of parental rights or responsibilities. When I looked it up in UT's law library, the information I found said that you had to file a dissolution of parental rights after the baby was born. might want to check it out just in case.
If you do this (or find out for sure that you do not have to) then when applying for aid (because they will ask for medicaid and food stamps too) you can state that the father's rights and responsibilities have been voluntarily terminated.
You have to be able to produce a court order to pull this off or else they will go after the father. Things got pretty bad a while back and I had to apply for food stamps and they were pretty PO'd they couldn't go after dd's bio dad because I do have a court order terminating him They even tried forcing me to sign papers to still try and collect but there wasn't much they could do since it went though the courts and not just something drawn up between 2 people.

Seriously?
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#19 of 21 Old 06-23-2006, 04:27 PM
 
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So, in what states is food stamp moneys going to be recollected? Just wondering.

In my state, food stamps and paternity have nothing to do with each other. They only go after the dad if you have TANF. I'm actually apalled (more than usual) that states feel it's okay to go this route.
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#20 of 21 Old 06-23-2006, 04:57 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Lucy VanPelt
So, in what states is food stamp moneys going to be recollected? Just wondering.

In my state, food stamps and paternity have nothing to do with each other. They only go after the dad if you have TANF. I'm actually apalled (more than usual) that states feel it's okay to go this route.
me too...foodstamps is considered transitional benefits here and as long as you have a job you can stay on them as long as you qualify without having to pay it back at all.

that said i dont qualify since i live with my mother. so I really couldn't tell you much about it.

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#21 of 21 Old 06-23-2006, 05:03 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Lucy VanPelt
So, in what states is food stamp moneys going to be recollected? Just wondering.

In my state, food stamps and paternity have nothing to do with each other. They only go after the dad if you have TANF. I'm actually apalled (more than usual) that states feel it's okay to go this route.
Here in CA they go after dad for support if you apply for any aid because in there minds you wouldn't need food stamps if the father was paying support and you wouldn't need medi-cal (medicaid) if he was providing health insurance. Most moms are only getting $100-200 in child support when they do get it and I know thats nothing if its all going to food. I know they gave me $399 a month in food stamps for a family of 3 which is way more then most moms get in child support. Thankfully they only keep the child support to repay cash benefits and not food stamps or medical or else moms would never be able to get off cash aid even if the child support was enough because they would keep taking the support to repay the benefits.

Seriously?
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