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#1 of 6 Old 06-23-2006, 07:50 AM - Thread Starter
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uh oh. I called CPS yesterday. I gathered my courage. I had to ask if some things x was doing constituted neglect. I hate to call the law gaurdian, I feel like if I do she will start to hate me.

I told them about x's living conditions, no stove, shared bedrooms, dirty clothes etc.... They told me it was all borderline nothing to report. Than I told them the piece about medicine. That he wouldn't let ds have medicine, that he wouldn't let ds wear his glasses, he wouldn't approve an exam by a specialist for ds. Than they got serious. They told me it was medical neglect. They told me I needed to make a report. I got scared mama's. He said in an email, "You are no longer allowed to make appointments without my authorization. You will wait for my permission."

He has taken me to court next Friday for contempt. He went to the local police and told them to arrest me for giving medication to his son without his consent. I'm scared mama's. Would any of you file a report. What if this becomes a thing. What if he starts filing a report against me? What if I'm doing something wrong and kids end up in foster care.
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#2 of 6 Old 06-23-2006, 07:57 AM
 
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I would have filed the report. What he is doing is neglectful to your son. I know CPS can make you feel like a horrible person, but it's the right thing to do in your case. So what if he calls CPS on you? Just because there's a call doesn't mean there's a substantiated reason behind the call. That's why they do investigations.

Kerry, loving wife to Pete, mama to DD (14) DS1 (9) DS2 (3) & Expecting someone new Jan 2013

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#3 of 6 Old 06-23-2006, 03:35 PM
 
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I am cautious about ever getting CPS involved. I realize that if your child needs medication that you need to make sure that he gets it. However, things just aren't always so simple and CPS can, at times, open up a can of worms that you may not want opened.

Do you know why your ex is making such a fuss about this? Is it based on long-held beliefs or ideas about medicine? It he trying to be controlling and using this as a means to get what he wants? Is he just trying to be a jerk and make your life difficult?

If you have a bit of an understanding of his motive in this situation, it may be easier to find a resolution to the problem.
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#4 of 6 Old 06-23-2006, 03:40 PM
 
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I called CPS on ex a while back, they pretty much didn't do anything. They said they only work with solid evidence and they need proof to back up the accusations. They suggested I get a social worker, and I did. Now we're both in the middle of a home study to see which parent is more fit to be primary guardian, I'm pretty sure ex's true colors are shining through. It's really hard to get away with lies in front of a social worker!

Zen doula-mama to my spirited DS1 (2/03), my CHD (TAPVR) warrior DS2 (6/07) & a gentle baby girl (8/09)
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#5 of 6 Old 06-23-2006, 03:48 PM
 
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Why would the law guardian hate you? What does your own lawyer say about this???

I think I would have filed the report. I don't know much about CPS, and maybe some others have bad stories...but what else are you supposed to do? And maybe they can help you!

When your ex called the police on you, what did they do/say? Could they actually arrest you? I wouldn't think so. Maybe it's good you're going to court, good it's being brought to a judge's attention. Don't be afraid. You've probably heard so much crap from your ex that things have become a little muddy - but YOU ARE RIGHT about these things regarding your child. His medical care...his vision! Your ex has been doing his best to scare you into thinking that he might have a good case against you. But he's crazy. I mean, what is this stuff about, "You will not do this...or that..." I hope the judge tells him to take a flying leap.

I think, in court, while it's important to keep yourself respectful, etc, that you have every right to be confident in stating your case. You get your child medical care - your ex does everything he can to obstruct that care. You don't have to be apologetic or make excuses. This is your child's health! Your ex clearly doesn't care about your child, but he very much cares about controlling you - with the thing dearest to your heart, your child's health. That is as low as a person can go, and I hope a judge sets him straight.

And do think about filing that report. I think you have very valid reasons. And if he files something on YOU in return...what is he going to say? "She gives our child prescribed medicine." Plus, I'm sure CPS has seen it a million times - that a parent will retaliate on the other parent for filing a report. Anyway, I hope your lawyer can advise you too. But you really are right not to let this go!
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#6 of 6 Old 06-23-2006, 08:17 PM - Thread Starter
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I decided to call the law guardian, afterall they are her clients right?

She tried to reassure me and tell me to call her anytime, that it was ok. Than she told me not to go ahead with a report. She knew the entire situation and it was already going into court and would be handled there. She pretty much told me the only reason he wont give medicaiton is because he disagrees with the treatment. She said she doesn't understand why he won't give the child his glasses.

If you ask me it is a control issue. He tells me over and over again that I need his permission and authorization to do anything. When I went ahead and did it anyway he is bringing me to court. The police investigated but decided not to do anything. They called the law guardian, and my lawyer.

I am always afraid to go to court. Anything can happen. It is never cut and dry and I don't always seem to make out so good. X has a good attorney that aruges really well for x. It all depends on the judge.

Needless to say I didn't file any report. Law gaurdian told me it could actually turn out worse for me if I did. That it was all being investigated anyway and I could come off as vindictive. She said just hold on. court is next Friday.
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