i am new here! scared and excited - Mothering Forums

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Old 07-30-2006, 01:28 AM - Thread Starter
 
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thank god i have come to a place in my life where i can be in this thread and posting one!
mind you, there is still a long road to travel until i am in an apartment with my son in the city i am used to. I am so scared, but so excited at the same time. they kind of balance eachother out. i am starting to feel like myself again. I care about my hapiness for the first time in atleast 2 years. I will be able to control who I live with and the energy I choose to be around. no more fighting, silence and draining negativity!
So single moms, i need some advice-
what do you do when you feel lonely?
what do you do when you are overwhelmed?
and.....I thought I would put this out there too....Any moms from Toronto, Canada? Know of any good groups?
the thing I am most scared of is being like my mother- she was a terrible single mom......i just feel like I might be getting closer to being like her!
i loved the best things about being a single mom thread. i am going to have to read that one alot over the next few months...
thanks fellow mama's!!!
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Old 07-31-2006, 01:07 AM
 
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to MDC!

Vanessa belly.gif, wife to Kev , mama to Byron (5) wild.gif and Billie (2) and  due in June
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Old 07-31-2006, 01:12 AM
 
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You sound like you have so much positive energy going for you. I'm new here, too, MDC in general so welcome from another newcomer.
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Old 07-31-2006, 01:44 AM
 
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Welcome!!

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Old 07-31-2006, 02:06 AM
 
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welcome
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Old 07-31-2006, 10:12 AM
 
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WELCOME!

this is an excellent place to draw strength, you are in the right place.

                                Whatever will be, already is...
 
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Old 07-31-2006, 11:28 AM
 
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Welcome mama! When I'm feeling lonely or sad, or scared, or overwhelmed, writing in a journal helps me a lot. It allows me to write down all the crazy thoughts inside my head and release them and move on. I even have an anger journal for when I am feeling really angry. Journaling has saved my sanity. When I am having an extremely low day (which hasn't happened in so long) I will ask my mother or sister to watch my DS for a while and take some time to myself to rest, take a bath, or just cry. Lean on others if you have to. You'll make it thorugh this

Zen doula-mama to my spirited DS1 (2/03), my CHD (TAPVR) warrior DS2 (6/07) & a gentle baby girl (8/09)
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Old 07-31-2006, 11:38 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by breastisbestmomma
So single moms, i need some advice-
what do you do when you feel lonely?
what do you do when you are overwhelmed?
and.....I thought I would put this out there too....Any moms from Toronto, Canada? Know of any good groups?
the thing I am most scared of is being like my mother- she was a terrible single mom......i just feel like I might be getting closer to being like her!
i loved the best things about being a single mom thread. i am going to have to read that one alot over the next few months...
thanks fellow mama's!!!
When I feel lonely, I work through it. It is difficult, but it's better to feel it and do whatever you can to get through it. I call on friends when needed. I also do things with the kids to keep us busy. I used to have a very difficult time on Sundays. We live in a very family oriented neighborhood and Sunday afternoons were all families having bbq's, biking riding, walking etc. It was almost too much for me to bear. So, I started to pick Sunday to be my grocery shopping day, which would get us out of the house for a few hours. Now my kids are older and we're doing family stuff on Sunday and it's great!

When I feel overwhelmed, I try to slow everything down and simplify. I also tend to get out of the house with the kids and do something fun. It's amazing how some fun can quickly make everything seem like I can tackle it. I also call on friends, lean on family when possible and sometimes just soak in a hot bath with a glass of wine and some nice music.

Sometimes just coming to this site and being able to write my feelings and have others offer support or advice can help get through lonely or overwhelming times.

There are times when it is difficult being a single mom, but for those of us who have been doing it for awhile, we can tell you that there are more times when it is wonderful and fulfilling and fun.
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Old 07-31-2006, 08:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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:
thank you all so much for responding thus far. i definately need to draw on all of your strengths right now. right now the ex and i are still living together in the same house....: it is so hard to keep the air positive! it seems as though there is this competition right now- who can be the better parent- and when i get overwhelmed he likes to say things like- what are you going to do when you are by yourself? you will never survive! i just think to myself- wow you have no idea how much negativity you bring into this house.
bbblllaaarrrggggg!!!!:
yes....and then his parents have been almost the MOST difficult to deal with! they have decided, and i quote- that they are DISGUSTED with me and refuse to speak with me. this is very hard because i have NO family here and they were a big source of support. (when my m-i-l wasn't acting crazy that is!) just had to add that in. i am so hurt that they are treating me this way. i even emailed the entire family a really nice, non-biased, email to explain what was going on. the ex even thought it was well written and positive. no one has replied and i just feel so sad that they are so quick to write me off.
i keep telling myself....it is there cr*p and i shouldn't take that on- but i can't help but feel so sad about it.
oh well, atleast i know how they are NOW and i don't have to deal with it anymore which is reassurring. i am so tempted to write them another email and just telling them how upset i am- but i know that is probably not the best thing to do as of now.
thank you for all of your kind words......keep them coming! i need the push in the right direction!
xoxoxoxoxonoah's mumma
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Old 08-01-2006, 02:02 AM
 
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Welcome mama! To quote one of my favorite songs- "Life ain't always beautiful. Sometimes it's just plain hard. Life can knock you down, it can break your heart. Life ain't always beautiful. You think you're on your way. It's just a dead end road at the end of the day. But the struggles make you stronger. And the changes make you wise. And happiness has it's own way of taking it's sweet time. No life ain't always beautiful. Tears will fall sometimes. Life ain't always beautiful, but it's a beautiful life".

Steph, DH Jason (1-1-11), DS Owen (10-3-03) and DS Kai (10-13-11)

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Old 08-01-2006, 04:11 AM
 
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welcome!
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Old 09-20-2006, 06:04 PM
 
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I was just reading through old posts to find some wisdom and noticed this thread. I am in your area relatively and going through the beginning of a separation. I have moved in with my folks in Barrie and am starting a new life on my own. PM me if you want to talk, I could really use some support right now as well and our kids are close in age!!!
Mel

earth honouring, tree hugging, yogi mamma to dd - my forest faerie (Feb/04) and ds - our new little bean born peacefully at home (01/02/11)
 
 
 
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Old 09-20-2006, 09:40 PM
 
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welcome, mamma. I am new here, too. I have been reading for several months, but just started posting recently. There is alot of great advice here.
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Old 09-21-2006, 03:19 PM
 
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Hi,
I am new as well, still not even sure if we are breaking up FOR SURE, the situation is quite complicated. However I AM in Toronto and would love to meet up ... so far I have not found any groups for single mothers. PM me if you want . We are also living together still [in an apartment no less!].

take care
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Old 09-21-2006, 03:29 PM
 
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Welcome and take care of yourself!!!

Former dreads.gifwearing, treehugger.gifing, pole dancing, read.gifpushing, ribbonpurple.gifsurvivor & single mama extraordinaire to energy.gif.  

Now that's a mouthful!!! computergeek2.gif & follow it!   

 

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Old 09-21-2006, 04:32 PM
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Welcome!

Awareness of the negative is the first step to eliminating it. Congratulations!
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