August Dating Thread - Page 3 - Mothering Forums
1  2  3 4  5  ... Last
Single Parenting > August Dating Thread
Jster's Avatar Jster 09:01 PM 08-16-2006
Yea! girlie librarian and Mabelsmom, on your dates! Even if it doesn't work out, it's kind of nice to break the long no-date trend, eh? I think those of us coming out of something need to see that there are some duds out there as well...to be ready for a really special one when he/she comes along

BelovedK's Avatar BelovedK 09:31 PM 08-16-2006
Oh no, I have a CRUSH






What's WRONG with me???!!!?
ExuberantDaffodil's Avatar ExuberantDaffodil 10:09 PM 08-16-2006
Ooohh! Give us details!


Quote:
Originally Posted by BelovedK
Oh no, I have a CRUSH






What's WRONG with me???!!!?

**guest**'s Avatar **guest** 08:22 PM 08-17-2006
I deleted my post. TMI.
BelovedK's Avatar BelovedK 01:11 AM 08-18-2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by ExuberantDaffodil
Ooohh! Give us details!
I know this guy (younger than me by ...years) we know each other IRL, but have been getting aquainted on mySpace. We are attracted to each other, it's a roller coaster ride. He broke off his exlusivity with a girl he JUST started seeing so he could see what there is to pursue with me (I assume by his emails) Now, he is sick, and I haven't heard from him today and I'm tying my hands behind my back so I don't message him or call him. I feel that ifI wait until tommorow (if I haven't heard from him) then it wouldn't be so, well, um....desperate and clingy sounding. My knickers are in a twist over him not contacting me today (what's WRONG with me???) and I said I was through with dating. Now I just want to, well, hang out with him.


Someone tell me not to call...
StephandOwen's Avatar StephandOwen 01:13 AM 08-18-2006
Don't do it mama! You are strong. Put the phone down!
StephandOwen's Avatar StephandOwen 01:16 AM 08-18-2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by OdeToJoy
I have not been intimate since the month before ds was born.... Almost FOUR years ago... So, I'm supposed to go to his place on Saturday. Supposed to be mainly as friends...but we shall see what happens.
Nooooo!!! I don't want to have the title as the mama who's gone the longest without it There's gotta be someone else that's been longer? Speak up!
BelovedK's Avatar BelovedK 01:57 AM 08-18-2006

Just think of what that body is capable of, it truly is amazing...I'm sure things will go just fine. Your body is worthy of the repect and love it deserves. After having a baby, the body is never the same...heavier, droopier and bootiful it is a miracle (all of it) If he doesn't accept you because of how your body is, then he aint worth it sista.

((((more hugs))))










Quote:
Originally Posted by OdeToJoy
Well, I suppose I can officially post on here. I have not been intimate since the month before ds was born.... Almost FOUR years ago!!! eek.

I've dated a couple of times but there wasn't any chemistry.
So, I decided to just stop bothering. I wanted to work on losing weight. Well, I've lost a little weight but not even enough to show but I'm getting sick of being lonely.

So, a couple of nights ago, I sent an instant message to a guy that I met up with twice (just as new friends). It's a long story but I basically told him that he's not ready for a real friendship and that he should call me when the time is right for him.
I broke down after not even seeing him online for some time (I was worried). We chatted and we kept ended up talking about....um, er....You know.
It was odd because we had agreed that we were just going to be friends before but...something happened. So, he wants me to come and see his house (that he just moved back in to) and we'll do coffee/tea.
He's seeing someone else but it's strictly a physical relationship (read between the lines here, mama's). I told him that I will not be intimate with someone if he's intimate with someone else too.
So, I'm supposed to go to his place on Saturday. Supposed to be mainly as friends...but we shall see what happens.

Now, here's my problem. I'm HUGE and I'm very embarrassed about my blubbery body. I know that he's not attracted to overweight women so even if things got out of hand, I'd be afraid that he'd be disgusted by my body. I can't help it. Even I'M disgusted by my body. I'm tempted to just cancel because I don't even want to face the possibility of major embarrassment.
This is not about love. He does not love me...we hardly know each other. It's purely physical.
After almost 4 yrs, I really would like to connect with someone.
I'm just so nervous about it!
I'm not pleasantly plump...I'm at least 60 lbs MORE than that. LOL.

I can't believe I'm going to post this!

talktomenow's Avatar talktomenow 02:41 AM 08-18-2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by BelovedK

Just think of what that body is capable of, it truly is amazing...I'm sure things will go just fine. Your body is worthy of the repect and love it deserves. After having a baby, the body is never the same...heavier, droopier and bootiful it is a miracle (all of it) If he doesn't accept you because of how your body is, then he aint worth it sista.

((((more hugs))))
:

Can't add anything to that!
**guest**'s Avatar **guest** 08:51 AM 08-18-2006
I'm not sure if we are going to get together. I think he is having trouble letting go of the other woman simply because she...um...er...does things that most women don't. Won't go into details but it's definitely not my style. LOL. I told him that there are more important things in life than kinky s*x but, well, he's a man.

I had an interesting dream last night where a guy gave me some advice. I was pissed off in that dream about the unsolicited advice but when I woke up, I realized he had a point. LOL.
So, I'm going to try to listen to my dream guy self and follow that advice.
Jster's Avatar Jster 08:51 AM 08-18-2006
: I completely agree...and anyone worthy of "worshipping at your temple" (as another mdc mama put it long ago) will truly realize the goddess in you...
Jster's Avatar Jster 08:55 AM 08-18-2006
Quote:
Just think of what that body is capable of, it truly is amazing...I'm sure things will go just fine. Your body is worthy of the repect and love it deserves. After having a baby, the body is never the same...heavier, droopier and bootiful it is a miracle (all of it) If he doesn't accept you because of how your body is, then he aint worth it sista
: I completely agree...and anyone worthy of "worshipping at your temple" (as another mdc mama put it long ago) will truly realize the goddess in you...

Oh, and FWIW, in my internet dating experience, the losingist guys were the ones who only wanted to talk sex...the man I'm with now, and feel is almost my other half in how much we have in common, how completely he accepts and cherishes me, and how much he loves my kids, well, we never talked about sex. Though the sex has been great, because love is what really makes it good
mountain's Avatar mountain 02:22 PM 08-18-2006
Yeah, Ode to JOY! Can you meet him at a PUBLIC coffee shop? I am gonna worry if you go to his house...

I always worry if someone is going to want me post-babydom...I love my stretch marks, but also know that some people think they are freaky & not "perfect"...however, I am not in this world to be perfect. All the freaky people make the beauty of the world.

FWIW, I dated my rebound...a guy 7 years younger than me & he told me they were beautiful, a sign of my beautiful babies. *sigh* Things didn't work between us but not because of my body. We dated for 5 months but my X kept doing pesky things like giving him facial concussions...

I've not been posting b/c I don't think I can date right now. It's been a year since I left my x, and I dated that guy for 5 months...I did something really stupid a couple weeks ago involving a really young & goodlooking guy...ugh...it totally validated what you just said JSter...sex without love ain't that great. I thought it would boost my ego but you just can't look outward for those kinds of things.

What is up with me & YOUNG guys? It's so lame, either really young or really older guys are into me...I've built up a daydream in my head of someone my own age being into me...now my daydream guy has ruined me for all other dating experiences. That's probably good, I'm slowly getting some STANDARDS!!! After 10 years out of the dating scene, I'm one lost freak!

So I have a question for you ladies...I've got this guy calling me up who is the dad of my son's friend. He & his wife are JUST going through a divorce, and he seems like a really nice guy...he's actually around my age, maybe a bit older. I'm not attracted to him, but he keeps inviting us over for dinner & movies. I went one time & it was pretty chill, a couple times he busted out with some compliment/interest-type comments, said I was beautiful. His friends were there & it was a bit awkward, but everything's pretty awkward for me lol.

He asked if I wanted to go to a movie (just him & me) this weekend.

My Q is: do i bust out with the whole "I'm not ready to date, let's be friends & only friends" thing? It seems so weird to say, like you're assuming you're hot stuff & he's after you, yk? How do I know he wants to date me & not just be friends? I mean, I get the vibe that he's 'interested' in me, but he seems like I really nice guy, it would be great to have the single parent network thing going on & friends & all that, but I can't handle heavy feelings right now...any advice?
mama40's Avatar mama40 04:31 PM 08-18-2006
Going to his house? For sex? With a guy who's involved with someone else? And you're telling him you won't have sex if he's involved with someone else? But you're going there anyway for....? Oh, girl, this is a bad-idea triple. You barely know this person, he's already proven himself untrustworthy/immature, and your words/actions are saying "ignore what I say and do me." And you're a single mom, meaning you need to stay safe & disease/stalker-free.

Come on, stay away from this guy. This is the kind of setup that gets Republicans elected.
**guest**'s Avatar **guest** 06:27 PM 08-18-2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by mama40

This is the kind of setup that gets Republicans elected.
Huh???

Perhaps I wasn't clear in my ramblings. I've gotten together with this guy before. We've been friends for months. It was strictly a friendship (never talked about intimate stuff). It's only recently that we thought perhaps we should try kicking it up a notch. Yes, he's been seeing someone else. Not in a relationship, just 'dating' her...with benefits. They agreed they didn't want anything serious (commitment, etc). He has been EXTREMELY honest with me about everything. I even know what skeletons he hides in his closet. LOL.

And of COURSE I'd be safe and use protection if we went that far! Good grief, I'm not a kid and I'm not stupid.
This would be a friends with benefits type of thing. I know that there are lots of women who wouldn't do that sort of thing and that's fine....for you. It's been almost FOUR freakin' years for me and it's high time I see some action.
**guest**'s Avatar **guest** 06:28 PM 08-18-2006
Oh, and we've been to each others house before...That's not an issue.
Oh yeah, he's a single dad. That's how we met.
mountain's Avatar mountain 06:33 PM 08-18-2006
Oh, I thought you'd only had an online relationship. Lo siento.

I hear friends with bennies are great...if you're secure emotionally--which I am NOT :LOL I hope to be someday though. Have fun, OTJ. Let us know how it goes.
cheyennemama's Avatar cheyennemama 12:44 AM 08-19-2006
Okay, I have this ongoing crush on someone. It actually started very innocently while I was happily married. (Like a yr ago) It's someone from my school. I had a class with him a yr ago and may never run into this guy again and yet I still think about him all the time! My marriage broke up while I was in the class and I SO wanted him to know. But of course, I wasn't ready for anything dating-wise. Now the class is over and he's gone! This is probably my first crush in 10 yrs so someone please enlighten me, how do I forget about this guy? I ran into him in the supermarket ONCE a year ago and yet every time I go food shopping, I consider going to this out of the way supermarket because I MIGHT run into him. It's pathetic! Help!
mystic~mama's Avatar mystic~mama 03:24 AM 08-19-2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jster
: I completely agree...and anyone worthy of "worshipping at your temple" (as another mdc mama put it long ago) will truly realize the goddess in you...
i second that!
mountain's Avatar mountain 04:57 AM 08-19-2006
I am so stoked for you mystic mama!
mystic~mama's Avatar mystic~mama 01:39 PM 08-20-2006
thx mountain, thats sweet.
**guest**'s Avatar **guest** 02:44 PM 08-20-2006
Well, I didn't go. Perhaps another time.
BelovedK's Avatar BelovedK 04:52 PM 08-20-2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by mystic~mama
thx mountain, thats sweet,,,it feels so right but is also hard sometimes because it has bothered some friends when I have shared with them about meeting my honey,,like one who said it effected her after our conversation because she wants what I describe for herself,,,Ive realized that not everyone wants to hear about it or can be happy for me,,,thats a new experience for me, among so many lately.
I think it is hard for people and they are not usually forthright about it, I want what you have AND I'm happy for you. There is plenty of love to go around and in terms of prosperity. When one prospers, we all do, as long as we are open to it.
Bad Mama Jama's Avatar Bad Mama Jama 12:32 PM 08-21-2006
Well, I went out on the date that my best friend set me up on and there were soooo many issues, I cannot begin to count. But what pissed me off was that he spent the majority of the time talking about his ex-wife and how she did him wrong.

I was just sick about it. Then he talked about ending up jailed for domestic charges. RED FLAG!!!! I already had an abusive relationship. I AM NOT auditioning for another.

Then when we were parting ways, he kissed me! YUCK!!! Not even to mention that he had a huge beard, which I thought was gross.

Nope, it'll be a while before I hit the streets on a date again. Mark my words!
BelovedK's Avatar BelovedK 02:01 PM 08-21-2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by girlie_librarian
Well, I went out on the date that my best friend set me up on and there were soooo many issues, I cannot begin to count. But what pissed me off was that he spent the majority of the time talking about his ex-wife and how she did him wrong.

I was just sick about it. Then he talked about ending up jailed for domestic charges. RED FLAG!!!! I already had an abusive relationship. I AM NOT auditioning for another.

Then when we were parting ways, he kissed me! YUCK!!! Not even to mention that he had a huge beard, which I thought was gross.

Nope, it'll be a while before I hit the streets on a date again. Mark my words!
I'm with you sista!
Jster's Avatar Jster 03:37 PM 08-21-2006
Wow, what nerve! And that's too bad he was so obnoxious...I bet it made you want to just walk right out!!

FWIW, the only two people I've wanted a second date with were the ones who didn't so much as try and hug me on our first date...

My update...life's still blissful. I spent yesterday with my kids, my beau, my mom and sister, we went canoeing on a nice river (so peaceful, lots of nature and alligators!), then my mom and sister left and the kids, my beau and I went swimming at the pool in the park, it was wonderful. Just a beautiful, peaceful day. And so much of me just thinks, "Wow, if the rest of my life was this peaceful, I'd be happy beyond measure." He liked my mom and sister, they were nice to him (haven't heard what they have to say...though he's met my sister a couple of times already, and she thinks he's nice), and things were good with the kids. I just couldn't have believed I'd be so at peace about a relationship with someone...no drama, no worries, no what-ifs, just peace and caring and companionship and hope. I know whenever single mamas came here, talking about their good relationships, I would always be sort of envious and leary, and yet happy for them of course, but somewhat unbelieving. I'm feeling like a believer!
Bad Mama Jama's Avatar Bad Mama Jama 04:45 PM 08-21-2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jster
FWIW, the only two people I've wanted a second date with were the ones who didn't so much as try and hug me on our first date...!
That's exactly how I felt. Yuck!!! The nerve!

But I am happy for you, Jster. It does sound like a lovely day for you. I'm glad that some mamas go on to find a nice person. My Sunday was filled with me scrubbing my kitchen.
mystic~mama's Avatar mystic~mama 03:02 PM 08-22-2006
girlie_librarian~

sorry to hear about him kissing you!

Jster~

I'm happy for you!
Jilian's Avatar Jilian 03:49 PM 08-22-2006
Jster: You've summed up how I feel. I was never a believer before either. I always thought people we're exaggerating when they said things are always calm and happy. It always sounded "too good to be true" to me too. But now I have a peaceful relationship and it is such a breath of fresh air. I feel like I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it never does.
ExuberantDaffodil's Avatar ExuberantDaffodil 04:03 PM 08-22-2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jilian
Jster: You've summed up how I feel. I was never a believer before either. I always thought people we're exaggerating when they said things are always calm and happy. It always sounded "too good to be true" to me too. But now I have a peaceful relationship and it is such a breath of fresh air. I feel like I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it never does.
Me too, me too! I was notorious for moaning to my mother (and everyone else in the world who would stop long enough to listen) that I would NEVER find anyone. Why should I? Men annoy me, the "right" one couldn't possibly exist because my list of expectations got so long that I couldn't even find a man in a book or movie I liked! I finally resigned myself to being alone.

Then, almost like a poorly uttered cliche, the man I am seeing now contacted me. I was very cautious and did some running in the beginning, but honestly, I feel (like another cliche) this is it. He's not perfect, he is a human being, and there may be things about him that rub me the wrong way, but there are plenty of things that rub me the right way (get your mind out of the gutter), and the things that are outrageously important to me... we got it. Our first year getting to know each other has flown by in such a way that I feel like I have always known him. We communicate very well, and we have learned how to respond to each other's moodiness (yeah, because we are both really moody ). I'm pleased as punch that he and ds get along beautifully (OK, we are working really hard on ds not calling him "daddy" -- we didn't teach it to him; he came up with it on his own, and won't let it go).

So, yeah. I'm happy in that department!
1  2  3 4  5  ... Last

Up