Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: following the butterflies
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i am on every kind of assistance. i have energy assistance application in the works, i get food stamps, i have medicaid for ds but not me.
there is no cheaper rent in this town unless i live with roomates. if there is, its really hard to find, and usually very crappy. i JUST moved into this house becuase i was living in the crappiest apartments on earth, next to meth heads, and it was 650 a month. i really really really do not want to move again right now. that is simply not an option. the rental market in this town is insane because its a college town and students can afford more cuz they get roomates. so rent continues to skyrocket. as it stands, i found a place just a few blocks from both my job and ds's school. this is all smart and good, only becasue i was in school full time up to last week, i was unable to work enough to pay the bills. i thought i would be able to make this work, but the timing of me getting more hours ( my boss couldnt give me more until starting tomorrow, so i havent worked this week off of school) is not going to help me for jan rent.
the assistance i am talking about is called TANF. they make you take how to get a job classes and document a job search, etc. i am fine with all of that.
i talked to my ex on the phone for a minute today and told him what i was facing. his argument is " well, how do all these students who live here and work part time pay all thier bills but you cant" and i said " um. because they have ROOMATES , therefore cheaper rent, and parents that can bail them out or help with expenses. because they dont have such limited schedules due to child care issues. becuase they dont have to pay extra child care if they work more than the preschool hours. because because because." i am so sick of explaining it to him. he said " but if you go file, and they take money out of my check, i will have to sell my car. " i was like YEAH, um, duh. you shouldnt have bought it. and him " i NEED a car so i can drive to my job " ( he can bus. and has)
he thinks i should just support myself , period. he thinks he is the greatest because he pays for ds's schooling. maybe he is right, but this is the second time since may i have felt scared i am going to end up homeless.
i am NOT popping out babies and incurring usless expenses and unable to pay my rent. i am DESPARATLY trying to finish my last year of school, find a job, and finally be independant. i am DESPARATLY trying to clean up my credit so i can buy a nice house for my son and i. i dont go out to eat. i dont buy myself clothes. i dont go to movies. i dont buy magazines, books, newspapers, cable TV, shoes, lipstick, haircuts, bras, earrings, internet. i cant pay my bills. i have a credit card, i have medical bills, i have phone, i have utilities. i am stuck in my cell agreement or i would cancel it. i dont have a land line phone. i cant pay my rent. i dont own a stereo,or an ipod, in a month i should hopefully be caught up finally cuz i will be working 30 hours a week. i am trying to sell my books on amazon, but apparently none of them are worth more than $2. i am doing everything i can think of.
i just realised i could go pawn my TV. i think i will go do that. hopefully thats $50? i cant sell my computer cuz i am hoping to find a stay at home job, but also i am a writer and need it. but i will sell it if i have to. this is where i am at.
sorry, but i sam still freaking out. i guess you are right, i should make the state go after my ex. god i hate this.