hmm question ~ is this abuse?? Sleeping while children play... - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

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#91 of 100 Old 01-06-2007, 07:06 AM
 
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with the question, "Is this abuse? sleeping while children play," and it was explained that one of the children was a tot of about three.

The question was not, "Do you ever let your child out of the same room you're in?" nor, "Do you leave your child in their own room when they go to bed?"

People are entitled to their opinions, and when asked for them, why are others attacking or mocking their answers?

The question was asked... the op used the word "abuse," when asking opinions about her own parenting choice, so it's not really reasonable to suggest that responders have thrown out the word abuse. It was part of the question.
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#92 of 100 Old 01-10-2007, 12:07 PM
 
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I do not see how it can be considered child abuse.
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#93 of 100 Old 01-11-2007, 02:34 AM
 
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Earlier in the thread someone mentioned that it is a "calculated risk" and I tend to agree with that. I have dozed off on the couch while my 1 year old watched Sesame St. in the same room as me, but I always feel a little paranoid about accidents. Then again, accidents have happened when I have been within arms reach of her, too. It's not possible to protect our children all of the time from everything. But I don't feel like I could be in the habit of napping with my daughter unattended. I guess it's just what you're comfortable with.
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#94 of 100 Old 01-12-2007, 12:09 AM
 
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I can't say what I'll do as a Mom, as my son is not old enough yet for me to have faced it.

However, my sister was allowed to get up and be playing alone in her room as a toddler. Our room (we were there part time and when we (my brother and I) were there my sister and I shared a room (she lived there full time) was fully child proof and there were gates up. The guest room/my brother room had nothing in it she could get into, and the bathroom had very high counters and latches on everything she could reach. That left my Dad and stepMoms room which if she went into they would wake up.

When we were there she was even allowed downstairs in the morning. We were 6 and 8 when she was born and when she'd wake up in the morning she'd go nurse and then we'd take her downstairs to play. As she got older she'd play first, and when T woke up she'd nurse then.

Not neglect or abuse IMO.

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Mama to Toad (08/06), Frog (01/09)... and new baby Newt born on his due date, Sep. 8, 2010
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#95 of 100 Old 01-12-2007, 01:21 AM
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My DD is now 3.5 and I have a dayjob finally, so things are a little different now, thank goddess.

But since DD was 1.5 or so until just a few months ago, I was working the late shift and got home at 4 or 5 in the morning (I'd go to my mom's after work, where she would usually spend the night). Aria would wake up at 8 or so and I'd get up with her, take her home, make her breakfast, and go back to bed. She'd be playing with me on the bed, we'd be reading books or something, and I'd just fall flat asleep.

Like several pp, she and I lived in a tiny apartment, I had the whole dang place child-safe'd, and if I happened to sleep longer than an hour or so, she'd wake me up with no problem. More often than not, she'd play for a while and eventually curl up next to me and I'd wake up with her sleeping under my arm.

I'm perfectly comfortable with that. Maybe with the next one I won't be, I suppose it depends on the child's personality and on my options as the parent and what's feasible to survive.
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#96 of 100 Old 01-12-2007, 02:50 AM
 
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I guess that my sister and I were negleted when we were kids then, because we would get up at about 6 am on the weekends and summer breaks to watch cartoons. We would get up get cearal, and watch cartoons almost every morning. Ever since I can remember. My 3 year old niece does the same. Gets up eats cearal and watches cartoons until her parents get up. (between 8 and 10) I have fallen asleep a few times ( on acident) with my son, but he is an infant that doesnt walk or even crawl yet, and my house is baby proof. He usually just plays with his toys. I am such a light sleeper I usually wake up when he activates one of his toys or makes any kinda loud noise.
I know that its not always good though when my sister was with her x, then he worked nights and she worked days. He would often sleep in his bed (Was a very heavey sleeper) and their daughter would run around the house doing what ever. ( Which wasnt baby proof at all. In fact he lives in a apartment above an old mortuary and often left the door open. Which are the old steep narrow wood stairs. This building is atleast 80-100 yrs old.) My sister came home often to the house trashed. Once when she came home the baby, ( because at that time she was just over a year old.) had gotten into the kitchen cuboards and covered the floor with a mixture of dish soap, fabreez, and dishwasher detergant and some other cemicals. She also covered herself, and the dog, with windex, and fabreez. Shampoo, conditioner and what ever else she found in the bathroom. That was the last time that he stayed with her during the day!

Brandy; Mother to Aspen (7/1996) and Ky (5/2006) and partner to Ryan

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#97 of 100 Old 01-12-2007, 03:12 PM
 
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My kids from time to time have gotten up in the wee hours of the morning, especially around the age of 2 1/2 to 3 years old, and I didn't know they were up. Once my son woke up and went into the office. He marked little red X's all over my X's research paper (some 25 pages). Both of us parents were sleeping, and normally our son was in bed with us. Don't know why he did that, but I had a special chain lock placed very high on the door so he couldn't get out of the house in case he did that again, but a fireman could knock it in very fast if there was a fire.

My 1st daughter usually slept later than me, so never had any major problems with her. However, my 2nd daughter got up frequently in the wee hours and
found sissors and cut her hair and my 1st daughters hair several times, even when my 1st daughter was sleeping. This was around age 3.

My kids didn't nap after age 3 1/2, so I usually would turn on PBS and let them watch for a 1/2 hour while I cat napped on the sofa next to them.

Parenting is so exhausting. You just wanna sleep, and you can't. I still crave sleep because my youngest still wakes up at 5:30 or 6:00 am every day. I try to get her to cuddle with me for a while, but it lasts no more than 1/2 an hour, then she starts wiggling.

I have started going to bed at 8 or 8:30 with the kids, so I don't feel so tired. My biggest dream is to leave the kids with my mom for 48 hours and stay in a very comfy and posh hotel, sleeping, getting room service and maybe getting up to swim at noon, only to go back to sleep for the afternoon until 8pm, then stay up until midnight and sleep again. I want to do this badly, but don't have the money to do it!

I don't think you are abusive to do this, but like other posters, I think you are taking a risk to sleep in your bed (which induces sleep so deeply for "me") and leave your kids playing without supervision.

Good luck on deciding how to handle the sitution. I think the OP who said you could always evaluate how you are handling it now, and change it, is right. Just think about it and think about the things that could go wrong in a instance. I worried about my toddlers and preschoolers climbing on furniture and getting crushed by it while I was awake. I couldn't sleep while they played unless I was very sick. I'm a single mama by the way.

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#98 of 100 Old 01-12-2007, 03:17 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jyotsna View Post
I have started going to bed at 8 or 8:30 with the kids, so I don't feel so tired. My biggest dream is to leave the kids with my mom for 48 hours and stay in a very comfy and posh hotel, sleeping, getting room service and maybe getting up to swim at noon, only to go back to sleep for the afternoon until 8pm, then stay up until midnight and sleep again. I want to do this badly, but don't have the money to do it!

Ditto going to bed with the kiddo and dreaming about a sleep vacation! Although, I gotta tell ya, I would not get up to swim, I would just sleep all freaking day. My DS would freak if I ever tried that though - he is sad enough from having to stay with ex during the day while I work.
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#99 of 100 Old 01-12-2007, 03:39 PM
 
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I have not been able to read the whole thread, but did get through quite a few posts at the beginning and end.

I absolutely do not have a problem with taking a nap or sleeping in while my kids are up. None at all. They have never done a single thing while I've been asleep that has concerned me. I don't allow TV all that often, so usually when I want to take a nap I announce that they can watch TV for a little while. They are usually in the same spot I left them at before I laid down. I am much more comfortable with this now that my kids are 5 and 7 though then when they were more in the 2-4 range.

And yea... being home alone during the day with your kids is not the same as being a single parent. The comparison offends me. Even I sometimes feel like I have it much easier just because I have a wonderful GF who really helps out as much as she can. But she doesn't live with me and is only able to come here a couple nights a week.

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#100 of 100 Old 01-13-2007, 09:01 PM
 
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Originally Posted by wemoon View Post

And yea... being home alone during the day with your kids is not the same as being a single parent. The comparison offends me.
Thank you.
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