January dating thread!!! - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-07-2007, 12:37 PM
 
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well a third one. listening to new music and dancing by myself this afternoon i thought to myself maaan i am tired of dancing alone (my ex refused to dance). or with girlfriends. even if he wont dance in public i woudl just love to share my passion of dance with my partner. i dont care if he is a bad dancer (i have two left feet). i just want someone with a passion for dancing.
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Old 01-07-2007, 12:46 PM
 
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Well, all of my analyzing was for nothing. Friday night my friend was called into work and by the time he got off there was a lot of teen aged drama going on at my house and I was afraid to leave my dd alone (she broke up with her boyfriend...who has anger issues...I'll post more on this in the teens area). So I stayed home.

The guy and I talked on the phone for a few hours over the weekend, and I'm feeling better about everything. Not sure what I'll do, but I really don't think I'm a friends with benefits type. We'll see what happens. I do know that I have to be able to look at myself in the mirror each day...so I have to do what's right for me!
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Old 01-07-2007, 05:11 PM
 
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momfirst- You are a good mom! Glad you are feeling better about everything.

Vanessa belly.gif, wife to Kev , mama to Byron (5) wild.gif and Billie (2) and  due in June
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Old 01-07-2007, 06:09 PM
 
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You know what? I just discovered a reason I love living alone. No one to laugh at me when I dance and sing at the top of my lungs to country music in the middle of the living room. Hee hee.
Thinking about that b/c bf made comments this morning about me moving in with him. Do I really want to give up the dancing?

Vanessa belly.gif, wife to Kev , mama to Byron (5) wild.gif and Billie (2) and  due in June
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Old 01-08-2007, 01:14 AM
 
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Haha, I was just wondering if I really want to give up my "dates" with myself...though you kinda know you're getting into a guy when he's better than the vibe!

Anyway, I got all sad & wrote the whole day today. I guess I have a lot of feelings that range around the fact that I don't know how he feels about the whole thing...maybe I should just chill out...it's so hard to be reasonable when you're so passionate about someone!

Maybe the trick is: finding someone that you don't MIND belting out silly stuff in front of!!!! It should be OK to dance around your living room, break out the battery powered toys, burp & fart, and look how you want to. Yes. Awomen. (my version of amen)

We gotta create it & find it!
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Old 01-08-2007, 01:20 AM
 
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Maybe the trick is: finding someone that you don't MIND belting out silly stuff in front of!!!! It should be OK to dance around your living room, break out the battery powered toys, burp & fart, and look how you want to. Yes. Awomen. (my version of amen)
Yes yes YES! I will settle for nothing less and I refuse to change who I am just for some guy. If he can't handle my off the wall remarks, love of a certain adult toy, singing along to the radio, body noises , etc then he's gone. Eh, no wonder I'm still single

Steph, DH Jason (1-1-11), DS Owen (10-3-03) and DS Kai (10-13-11)

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Old 01-08-2007, 01:22 AM
 
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Not that I wouldn't dance in my living room if I DID live with bf....its just nice to know that no one can see you or walk in on you etc.
Hee hee.....I definately would not give up ANY battery operated toys if I moved in with bf. Who knows? They could be a co-ed activity. :

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Old 01-08-2007, 01:22 AM
 
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Maybe the trick is: finding someone that you don't MIND belting out silly stuff in front of!!!! It should be OK to dance around your living room, break out the battery powered toys, burp & fart, and look how you want to. Yes. Awomen. (my version of amen)

We gotta create it & find it!
It is out there...I promise. I found it.

In fact, when I do belt out silly stuff, dance crazily around my living looking like a fool and even breaking out the battery powered toys (TMI??? ) with him...I swear, I think he loves me more for being myself and exposing my my wacky, crazy, vulnerable side that I only share with those I love.

Plus, it allows him freedom to do the same.
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Old 01-08-2007, 01:23 AM
 
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They could be a co-ed activity. :
That is one of DP and I's favorite kind of activities!
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Old 01-08-2007, 01:34 AM
 
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That is one of DP and I's favorite kind of activities!
:

Steph, DH Jason (1-1-11), DS Owen (10-3-03) and DS Kai (10-13-11)

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Old 01-08-2007, 01:49 AM
 
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:
I am not too shy, am I?

Honestly, I don't know what came over me in sharing that information.
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Old 01-08-2007, 02:53 AM
 
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Well Ladies I was played for a fool!!!!!!! I was used and let go with no warning. I really wanted to sulk and feel sorry for myself....instead i am taking it as a lesson learned and moving ahead. Thank Gods i didn't introduce my girls to him!!!!

M,partner to D,mama to Sofia (6/01), Madeline(11/04), and Quin(2/08)  Hoping for a tubal reversal baby SOON after the proceduremakebabe.gif

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Old 01-08-2007, 03:05 AM
 
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Maybe the trick is: finding someone that you don't MIND belting out silly stuff in front of!!!! It should be OK to dance around your living room, break out the battery powered toys, burp & fart, and look how you want to. Yes. Awomen. (my version of amen)

We gotta create it & find it!
I found it. I met the guy I'm seeing in a bar, after I had been at Irish Fest all day (this was over Labor Day weekend-hot hot hot!). I was wearing jeans, a t-shirt, Chuck Taylors, my hair in pigtails and no makeup. This is what I look like every day, so it's really not that big of a deal. Except every other girl in the bar was all spiffied up. I guess I stood out a little. He came up and told me how hot I was. I actually laughed at him. lol We talked all night, but my friends wouldn't let me go home with him (we have rules lol). I really thought I'd never hear from him again, but he called before we even got to my sister's house. We text'd all night. It was over a week before we went out on a date, but he hung in there. We've been happy ever since. And he still calls me 'pigtails'. :

It's great to find someone you feel comfortable around from the start. It makes things SO much easier. It does exist!! I promise.
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Old 01-08-2007, 11:03 AM
 
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Woo HOo fluffernutter... It is so great to hear... and that you don't have to be a bimbo to get a man

M,partner to D,mama to Sofia (6/01), Madeline(11/04), and Quin(2/08)  Hoping for a tubal reversal baby SOON after the proceduremakebabe.gif

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Old 01-08-2007, 12:01 PM
 
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sahm2girls

I'm sorry.

It is good that you see something you can learn from the situation...but it still doesn't take the sting out of it...at least not until you can heal from it. I wish you well as you deal with everything that's happened in the past few weeks.
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Old 01-08-2007, 12:15 PM
 
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I totally agree about finding someone who accepts you completely...and I think part of it is also finding someone you can accept. For instance, I'd never feel really comfortable with someone who drinks much or smokes/trying to quit...and so it would be a constant struggle. My DP accepts my body in all it's mama beauty, and has from the start, he actually suggested I stop shaving my legs (something I prefer not to do but did to fit in with the crowds), says I should ditch my bras (I warned him about milk leaking after the baby and he was a little surprised...Milk? LEAKING? ) Anyways, just wanted to offer some encouragement in that area.

Steph, good luck having a date this year...just look at is as a fun way to get out. I know you do child care during the week, but lunch dates are less pressure. Or you could just go do something you like and see if you meet someone there (DP and I first met in person feeding the homeless...it was perfect!)

JustVanessa...no problem with wanting some personal space, and I think it should be okay in a relationship to say hey, I want some time to myself tonight! or do thing separately.

Mountain...it's a hard struggle, not knowing how he feels. Has he said anything, have you talked, what do his actions say?

Holland, how are you and DP handling the separation, and how much longer will he be in Japan? (which is awesome, I lived there for 1.5 years and yearn to visit again...)

I'm doing alright here...have one more week before school starts. Emotionally, I've been a wreck...pregnancy hormones, uggh! I think the stress of an unplanned pregnancy is wearing on me, also, my grandma is really not going to like it, I haven't told her yet but she was pretty mean to DP when we visited over Christmas. I love her very much, I have been closer to her than my own mom at times, but it's hard to deal with her criticisms and negativity. And it's not just an out of wedlock baby, it'd be about "what about law school" "You're ruining your life" "Three kids?" and that line as well...if it was just one thing I could handle it better, but there's no way she'll see it at all positive. Oh well, I'm going to write her a letter. I'm sure the rest of my extended family will accept and be joyous with us.
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Old 01-08-2007, 01:56 PM
 
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Jster....
I was wondering how you are doing!
You know in your heart that this baby is meant to be and will be an amazing blessing in your life. You also know that law school will still happen, even if you have to pause for a year or two....if you are really passionnate about it, you will make it work, no matter what.
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Old 01-08-2007, 07:31 PM
 
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Holland, how are you and DP handling the separation, and how much longer will he be in Japan? (which is awesome, I lived there for 1.5 years and yearn to visit again...)
The first month or so was a bit difficult. Getting accustomed to the ups n' down of long-distance communication made life a little rough in the beginning. He doesn't really want to be there and has had a difficult time dealing with the situation. He has been really sad, he just want to be here with us.

BUT...he will be back the end of February. More than half way there!!! :

I agree with MsChatsALot...you know this baby was meant to be. And, school will always be there. You are never too old to go back to school.

Sorry to hear about your Grandma...that is really rough. But remember, that is HER opinion and perspective...not yours.
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Old 01-09-2007, 04:53 AM
 
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woah. subbing. i just realised that no, this thread was not suddenly really quiet...it is a new month! wow. i have some catching up to do.
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Old 01-09-2007, 05:21 AM
 
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Yeah, Stirringleaf where ya been? Making pb&js... me too.

jster...I just want to laugh with you & talk to you & let's go have a margarita when you're done with the baby, K? My man I'm with, he has NO IDEA. We were actually talking about circumcision the other night...and he just has NO IDEA yet. He's so kind and gentle, and loving...but has no idea how to put it into practice. I wonder if we weren't meant to be together simply because of what has been learned.

So what's the deal y'all? I was expecting some reaming from wanting to move in with a man I've been in love with for 4 months...

I just dont' want to to anything detrimental to my babies...but they already want to be with him...*sigh*
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Old 01-09-2007, 09:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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jster...I just want to laugh with you & talk to you & let's go have a margarita when you're done with the baby, K?*
can I come too ?:


I've had a breakthrough and am no longer attracted at all to the guy I spoke of earlier. I found out that he was hitting on another one of my friends within a few days of being with me : It opened my eyes and had me wondering..I wrote the most fabulous blog, but had to set it as private so he wouldn't read it...I so wish i could share it...I don't think I can though, too sexual, well, actually it just refers to it and the experience. I might check with the other mods to see if it would be okay to post it in the mother's writing group...when it's me, I'm stymied...It's on the line but I don't think it crosses it. I'll let everyone know if it's there, just in case anyone wants to read it.

                                Whatever will be, already is...
 
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Old 01-09-2007, 09:54 AM
 
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Mountain, BelovedK, you're on! I really missed you guys while I was gone, and had to stay up late the first night I got back (from almost two weeks on the road/no internet) just to catch up and see how everyone was doing!

BelovedK, isn't it good to at least know these things early on about someone? And to be able to listen to your instincts? That's a great thing!

I know this baby IS a blessing, and I feel really special to have been chosen by fate. I think things will settle in soon, and hopefully then I will be a little calmer. The last couple of days have been a big improvement...honestly, DP went to AA meetings the Fri. and Sat. nights after we got back (we got back really late on Wednesday) and I think I felt disconnected from him and us. Last night we played chess together (he's the perfect partner for me...I always win but just barely ) and enjoyed some time sharing our love, and it's those things that make me feel safe and secure, rather than feeling scared of being abandonned. His AA meetings are kind of like my MDC...a connection to important people in his community and a chance to relax and feel at home (he's been sober 5 years) so I want to be able to respect that without feeling jealous and needy. I hate to have trust issues, but I'm also glad I can express and recognize my insecurities and that my partner truly cares about how I feel in our relationship.

Holland, glad to hear your DP is coming back in February, that should be a great feeling!

MsChats, nice to see you again as well! How are YOU doing?

And stirringleaf, now that you've found us again, what's up?
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Old 01-09-2007, 11:19 AM
 
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Sorry I've been down with the flu for a couple days, I had a lot of catching up to do. But right before I got sick, I found HIM. We had talked and met on the internet and it was the first date I went on from the internet that I thought this could really be the one. We spent all afternoon together and I was just in heaven. It is so nice to meet a down to earth country boy that understands my farm girl humor that is not an ignorant redneck. Within minutes of meeting we were singing along to country music in his car (together!), talking about things I usually don't talk about. It just felt so natural and so right. Yes we got a little frisky too soon but it was great. He's worried because he is ten years older than me, he doesn't want me to think i am missing out. HELL NO. He is more in shape than any other man I have ever dated. And we cuddled for like an hour, just touching each other and kissing. I was in heaven. And it wasn't all physical either, we talked about what life would be like if we were together and our philosophies on marriage and all that. He too lives 40 min away so for right now we are only seeing each other on the weekends but if it came to where the distance was a problem, my bags are packed and I can find an apartment over there. He even drove me around to look at the schools and stuff. What I love about him (besides other things) is that he told me from the start he was interested in a long term relationship so I know just where I stand. I am in danger of losing my heart and I am trying not to hold back. We only live once!
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Old 01-09-2007, 11:48 AM
 
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BelovedK --

Solareyna --
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Old 01-09-2007, 11:49 AM
 
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A little worried...


Even though my date was heaven, I am a little worried because I wasn't on any birth control. I have them in my purse (the pill) I just can't start until after my period. Sorry if this is TMI, but he pulled out (but it happened three times in like two hours - ) so there is a possibility there that something could have happened. I warned him so its not like it will be a surprise to him if anything happens and he said we should have been more careful but didn't seem too worried about it. I wouldn't mind having another baby but I really wanted this time to be different than the last (where I got pregnant on like the third date). And although I feel like this man would be a great father and a great partner I don't want to speed things up or throw us together because we have to be together. I went out and bought some condoms for next time but I am just praying a little prayer that the baby waits until we are both ready. :
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Old 01-09-2007, 12:41 PM
 
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A little worried...


Even though my date was heaven, I am a little worried because I wasn't on any birth control. I have them in my purse (the pill) I just can't start until after my period. Sorry if this is TMI, but he pulled out (but it happened three times in like two hours - ) so there is a possibility there that something could have happened. I warned him so its not like it will be a surprise to him if anything happens and he said we should have been more careful but didn't seem too worried about it. I wouldn't mind having another baby but I really wanted this time to be different than the last (where I got pregnant on like the third date). And although I feel like this man would be a great father and a great partner I don't want to speed things up or throw us together because we have to be together. I went out and bought some condoms for next time but I am just praying a little prayer that the baby waits until we are both ready. :
Where are you in your cycle?

I don't know what your feelings are about emergency contraceptive (which can be taken up to 72 hours after unprotected sex), but you can get it for free via Planned Parenthood. I am not talking about the abortion pill. It is a high dose of birth control pills that does not allow a fertilized egg implant.
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Old 01-09-2007, 12:58 PM
 
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Holland,

I midway through my cycle, two weeks in between. Is this the most fertile time? I had thought about that and my feelings are mixed. As much as I don't want it, I almost feel like if it happens it is meant to be. I still have about a day to change my mind. If this is the most fertile time, I might go and get it.
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Old 01-09-2007, 01:14 PM
 
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I read up on it and I think I am ovulating so I made an appt, I am going in in the morning to get the ec. (please no harrassing, I have been through an unplanned pregnancy before and I am not quite ready yet.) I will be more careful next time so I don't have to do this again.
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Old 01-09-2007, 02:03 PM
 
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Well, after not hearing from Jesse in a week, and being pretty much ready to give up, he calls last night. The conversation just started out with him asking if I was ok and him apologizing for being "distant" (those are his words). I told him it was no problem, it gave me time to get my emotions in check. I asked him if he never wanted to see me again, and he said what I had thought since our time together on New Years, "I love you too much, I don't want to lose you". I just had a feeling that we had developed feelings for eachother, but he was afraid to admit it. I guess it took him a week to think about it. Well, He asked what I thought about us, well I didn't know there was an us so I told him I don't know what to think. Well our conversation got cut short because someone was knocking on his door, but he said he'd call me again today, we'll see I guess.
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Old 01-09-2007, 02:31 PM
 
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I read up on it and I think I am ovulating so I made an appt, I am going in in the morning to get the ec. (please no harrassing, I have been through an unplanned pregnancy before and I am not quite ready yet.) I will be more careful next time so I don't have to do this again.
No harrassing here mama, just a big hug from me.

Kerry, loving wife to Pete, mama to DD (14) DS1 (9) DS2 (3) & Expecting someone new Jan 2013

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