February dating thread - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 02-14-2007, 01:37 AM
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well I have been dating... some. Met a couple of guys, went on dates, wasnt attracted. I find the hardest part is to tell them that. Heh, oh well...

So, the one guy I am interested in, the one that I hang out with the most, is sooo sporadic. I don't know what to do. He picked me up late on sunday night and we drove for a long time, then went to his place and made out and stuff.. it was awesome. hot! But havent heard from him since. Which is kinda common with him. He works lots, but bleh, I dont know. It kinda makes me feel like crap.
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Old 02-14-2007, 04:36 AM
 
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Just wondering for all of us single mamas-
Do you do online dating sites? Which ones? Any luck?
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Old 02-14-2007, 04:56 AM
 
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I met DF on match.com - I liked it (obviously)

I think online dating can be great for single moms - I loved being able to email guys without having to go through all the "dating stuff" - most guys turned me off pretty quickly and I didn't have to waste all the time getting a babysitter, getting dressed up, and driving somewhere - only to spend an interminable dinner wishing I was home playing with the boys

Plus, it was nice to be able to put "yes, I have 2 kids" in my profile and automatically weed out any guys who were just looking for a joy-ride :

There are definitely some weirdos out there on teh web, though, so be careful (I think that goes without saying)
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Old 02-14-2007, 09:37 AM
 
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I'm on match and have been sporadically over the last yr. I met a guy I dated after X and I split. Great guy- maybe it was too soon, maybe he just wasn't the right one. We're still friends and interestingly, he's now engaged to a girl he met on eharmony. Well, that convinced me and I tried eharmony for a week (free). It seemed really good, but there were few matches. Plus, a lot of people don't show their pics. I'm not even vaguely into looks but I like to see what a guy looks like. I like to picture who I'm e-mailing! Plus, I know what's not my type and I'd like to weed those out as not to waste anyone's time. So now I'm back on match. Met a new friend from it and we've gone out twice- no obvious romance, but we have fun.
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Old 02-14-2007, 09:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm on match, and I'm not talking yet, but I think I've just met the greatest guy. I'm not talking (yet) because I'm superstitous

Oh, I've also met a dear friend there. I love online dating, it really does weed out people who may not be comfortable with the fact that you have kids.

                                Whatever will be, already is...
 
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Old 02-14-2007, 11:21 AM
 
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I met my current honey on match (which is now going on a month long relationship). I liked it alot for the same reasons listed by the others. I also went on some really bad dates though, I think it is important to tell someone no if you have even a vague idea that it is not going to work. I was too nice and pretty much went on a date with anybody I could talk to and it led to a bunch of disappointment. I would set my standards and stick with them! I was on eharmony for awhile but its so hard to find someone in the same area. I wasn't happy with it. But good luck!

As for me, dbf and I had a little talk about his constant mentioning of his ex and he apologized and I was pleased with the outcome. He just didn't realize he was doing it so much I guess. Well he's too good to give up on the off chance that I might be a rebound or he might still be coping with his divorce and I have already fallen so its too late to save myself, might as well enjoy it.
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Old 02-14-2007, 02:23 PM
 
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I met DP on yahoo personals...I only made a profile because it kept popping up when I signed in to my yahoo mail acct, but I'm sure glad I did! I'd also tried match, eharmony (just for a week, like some others, they paired me with extremely conservative people for some reason), and briefly okcupid (it's totally free, but also a lot more about hooking up, but some neat people on there!). Makes it sound like I did a lot, huh? In reality, I went on, oh, 5 dates, saw one guy off and on for a couple of months (he wasn't really up for a relationship, though, and had a lot of turnoffs to me as well, but a nice person who I enjoyed getting to know). And then I met dp...we actually started really slowly (he didn't have a picture up, nor did I ask his description, and I didn't meet him for almost two months!) It was an amazing process, though, and all happened perfectly at it's own pace.

The kids thing is good to weed out...but even people who "know" you have kids just might not get it. With everyone but DP, we went on a lunch "date" to meet first, and frankly, it was artificial to my life. When do I get free lunch times?!?! DP and I met in person at a social event, (food not bombs, feeding the homeless in a public park), with my kiddos at my side, and it was casual and very real, if that makes any sense. In fact, we realized that just over Christmas did we have our first chance to go to a movie theatre together, alone!! So funny, but definitely life, and I have not one bit of doubt that he's a family man who's really ready for loving us all. HTH!
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Old 02-14-2007, 02:54 PM
 
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DP and I met in person at a social event, (food not bombs, feeding the homeless in a public park), with my kiddos at my side, and it was casual and very real, if that makes any sense.
this brought tears to my eyes. that sounds so dreamy and perfect jster.
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Old 02-15-2007, 02:31 AM
 
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I met my DP on eHarmony.

I really enjoyed eHarmony, but it does take time (and money, as it is a bit more expensive than most other sites). The men I personally met (I met 2 before DP) were looking for serious relationships. That was big deal for me.

But, as I said, it does take more time than the other sites. Not a lot of "instant gratification" on eHarmony.
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Old 02-16-2007, 09:30 AM
 
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Okay...I posted about an incident where I should've talked to a guy, didn't, and now feel silly about it. I used to see him a lot, had a crush, and then saw him this week after a year and said barely a thing to him. So, I e-mailed him at his last known e-mail and.... no response. It was a short, concise e-mail mentioning my interest in him, my change in marital status, and asking him out. I figured I'd get a response either way. Wouldn't that make sense? Now I suspect he doesn't even use that e-mail address anymore. I found his phone number. Should I call?! Maybe call 7-10 days after the e-mail was sent. I don't want to be a stalker but I want to either go out with him or close this chapter! Even if I make a total ass of myself and he says "no", I can easily avoid him for the rest of my life. Please help!!!!
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Old 02-16-2007, 03:01 PM
 
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i say do it. but do you know anyone who knows him? thats maybe not much less stalkerly , lol , but it is a way to find out more about him without having to be in his space? but really, i think you are right that you have nothing to lose if you do it, and if he is single right now and had a crush too, it would be well worth conjuring up a date.

i think you should do it. and just be honest with him. say that you just kicked yourself for not saying anythign to him and now you feel like its worth making an ass of yourself! i mean if he has a sens of humor, it will make him laugh and it might make it less awkward?

and yeah wait a week before you call i think that is a good idea.

tell us what happens!
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Old 02-16-2007, 03:45 PM
 
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Originally Posted by stirringleaf View Post
i say do it. but do you know anyone who knows him? thats maybe not much less stalkerly , lol , but it is a way to find out more about him without having to be in his space? but really, i think you are right that you have nothing to lose if you do it, and if he is single right now and had a crush too, it would be well worth conjuring up a date.

i think you should do it. and just be honest with him. say that you just kicked yourself for not saying anythign to him and now you feel like its worth making an ass of yourself! i mean if he has a sens of humor, it will make him laugh and it might make it less awkward?

and yeah wait a week before you call i think that is a good idea.

tell us what happens!
: Go for it!! What's the worst thing that can happen?

Kerry, loving wife to Pete, mama to DD (14) DS1 (9) DS2 (3) & Expecting someone new Jan 2013

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Old 02-16-2007, 07:10 PM
 
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i'm new hwere (you can check my intro in the appropriate therad), but i think you should just go for it too.

Nothing here to say about my dating life, what with a not quite newborn and 2older kids who take up most of my time. Maybe someday!
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Old 02-17-2007, 11:17 AM
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I had a friend last weekend say to me, "I know the perfect guy for you" Uh oh..... I kind of dismissed her, but she persisted. Finally I turned to her and half jokingly said... "Yeah, what kind of car does he drive" She responds, "a corvette" Ok, I know it's wrong, but now she has my attention. she tells me we will go out for drinks, and get to know each other. I hesitantly say... ok. First date since x... Last Saturday rolls around and no one calls to set things up. I could have pursued this, but I opted not to. I guess I don't want to seem eager, but... I am curious.

By the way, I am on cupid. It doesn't do much for me. Im not ugly or anything, but my profile doesn't get much attention. I dont usually care too much though
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Old 02-17-2007, 03:42 PM
 
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Oh well, I peeked on AIM and he was logged in. Didn't IM him or anything. But I know he got my message, so I won't call him. I spoke to my brother (male's POV-) and he said that if a girl e-mailed him or left a phone message and he wasn't interested, he just wouldn't respond. How mean! Oh well! No date for me. At least I know he got it and I can accept the situation.

Call me a dork but I'm going speed dating tomorrow. Wish me luck!
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Old 02-17-2007, 04:11 PM
 
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I'm serious....how? Somewhere between laundry and work and school and homework and dinner and grocery shopping and soccer and guitar lessons? The whole thing has me perplexed and scared and freaked out.

I'm not ready to venture out into this world yet, but I admit I've been thinking a lot about it lately and don't want to be alone forever.

Just wondering....any insight would be great
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Old 02-17-2007, 04:13 PM
 
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Uhh the only men i meet are the 82 year olds admitted into the hospital for god only knows what

Between school, clinicals, working, and taking care of Princess- i don't even have time to pee it feels like! :
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Old 02-17-2007, 04:16 PM
 
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I met my lovely boyfriend on match.com. It was sort of a last resort, but it sure worked!!
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Old 02-17-2007, 04:19 PM
 
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I usually just lurk on this thread, but for some reason this month I figured I'd say something.
About the internet dating... I used to think it was really just something for desperate people, but just for kicks I signed up on plentyoffish.com. I was checking emails sporadically, I definitely wasn't seriously looking to meet someone. And even just a couple days before I met my bf, I told one of my friends that I would NEVER actually meet someone I met "online". And then one evening I got an email from this cute single dad, we emailed back and forth a few times just that evening since we were both online, we ended up talking to him on msn that night, then met for coffe the next morning, ended up spending the entire day together...and have barely been apart since. It's been 2 months now... The point of the story is, my opinion of online dating has changed immensely. I think it's a legitimate way to date, especially for single parents. It's hard sometimes to get out an meet people. At least, it has been for me since I'm 23 and in university and so the crowd I'm around with most of the time isn't exactly a great dating pool for a single parent.

Kate
single student mama to Owen (09/05/04)
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Old 02-17-2007, 04:26 PM
 
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I certainly don't have the time to meet men either! I mean honestly the only places we go are Walmart or the Drs office/Hospital! Unless I get lucky and find a single Dr I have no idea how I'm going to meet someone.
I have been looking into singles sites though and I think I'm going to go that route.
I don't want to get married again for a few years but I don't like being single either!
Good luck!
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Old 02-17-2007, 06:36 PM
 
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I've been single for over three years now, and I haven't so much as gone on a date. My life is taken up by church, running kids to voice lessons/youth group/church activities/cub scouts, cleaning our church, and on, and on, and on....Unless a single guy moves into my area and starts coming to church, I don't know how I could possibly meet him! My friend keeps saying that God is just going to send him right to my door - I think He's going to have to!
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Old 02-17-2007, 08:10 PM
 
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I have dated a little in the 5.5 years I've been single.

I've met men online, set ups by friends & I've met people in my community.
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Old 02-17-2007, 11:14 PM
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I've met decent single men at coffee shops, gaming events, through friends, and online. Not that I'm trying to date any of them, but I've had plenty of offers.
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Old 02-18-2007, 02:45 PM
 
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I agree that online dating is a legitimate way to meet people.

I also like the fact that I can really screen people before meeting them. I find that there is a lot I am able to find out about a person before meeting them and if there is chemistry or a connection online, there is in person too.

I'm in the midst of a super busy 2 months of courses at school and online. Plus my usual homeschooling, keeping up the house, looking to move, etc. etc., so I'm still online and chat with a few guys every now and then, but I've sort of put dating on hold for a bit.
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Old 02-18-2007, 07:06 PM
 
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I have never considered online dating but I probably would give it a try in different circumstances.

Vanessa belly.gif, wife to Kev , mama to Byron (5) wild.gif and Billie (2) and  due in June
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Old 02-19-2007, 12:15 AM
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I use it. It works well for screening!
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Old 02-19-2007, 12:47 AM
 
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Somebody help! I have been separated since April, and just not meeting ANY, not ANY men. I have to start putting that on the top of my list. It is not just happening "by accident" as my mom thinks it well. Perhaps, if I had a day job, it would. I am basically at home with my kids during the day, then work as an SAT tutor in teens' homes evenings and weekends. Not meeting them at Wal-mart or even the roller rink! I really want somebody, right now. It feels as though I am basically wasting away in the middle of nowhere, and if I stay here, am going to die celibate!
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Old 02-19-2007, 01:51 AM
 
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I've been single for 2 years and have ZERO interest in meeting anyone at this point.
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Old 02-19-2007, 11:09 AM
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I had a guy friend that was online dating. He told me he doesn't give any points to the women online dating. I'm not sure what that means. Does that mean that the men on these sites think we're easy or cheap? We're out there trolling?
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Old 02-19-2007, 11:11 AM
 
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I don't know. I'm on okcupid, and it's a tad annoying. I keep getting messages from guys who want to sleep with me. You'd think the "I have two kids" statement would weed them out, but apparently they think it makes me easy? : I'm on there just cause I was bored one night and saw that all of you are on there.

Kerry, loving wife to Pete, mama to DD (14) DS1 (9) DS2 (3) & Expecting someone new Jan 2013

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