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#121 of 181 Old 08-11-2007, 12:58 AM
 
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Hey! I have made a few posts in this section lately so I guess I should properly introduce myself! My name is Liz and I am 24. I am in the middle of a divorce. My stbx has been a horrible husband and not that great of a father. We have been married for 3 years. I have thought a lot about divorce but was trying to give it a shot for our girls...the past few months though have been really bad. He is lazy and mean and very verbally abusive. I just couldn't take anymore so I am very relieved to be getting a divorce. I am scared but excited as well about being single again and having a fresh start.
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#122 of 181 Old 08-11-2007, 04:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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welcome, kerplunk, tubeater, and paxton.
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#123 of 181 Old 08-11-2007, 08:40 AM
 
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Just wanted to pop in and say hello. :
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#124 of 181 Old 08-11-2007, 08:12 PM
 
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hello
i've been busy lately, but i'm here.

RN, Tree-huggin, chicken-raisin'chicken3.gif, mountain climbing, yoga attempting namaste.gif Mama to Miss Areading.gif (10) and Miss K joy.gif(8). Newly re-married wife to DHpartners.gif We're pregnant!!belly.gifExpecting our new little addition this November!
 

 

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#125 of 181 Old 08-12-2007, 04:50 PM
 
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Originally Posted by paxton25 View Post
Hey! I have made a few posts in this section lately so I guess I should properly introduce myself! My name is Liz and I am 24. I am in the middle of a divorce. My stbx has been a horrible husband and not that great of a father. We have been married for 3 years. I have thought a lot about divorce but was trying to give it a shot for our girls...the past few months though have been really bad. He is lazy and mean and very verbally abusive. I just couldn't take anymore so I am very relieved to be getting a divorce. I am scared but excited as well about being single again and having a fresh start.
Sounds just like my situation! Except that I am 27 And he was the one who left, I was so blind, I always thought that it would get better. But it kept getting worse and worse and worse...

So, I am single and I am happy! The best is yet to come, right??
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#126 of 181 Old 08-13-2007, 01:32 AM
 
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The best is yet to come, right??
I sure hope so!
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#127 of 181 Old 08-16-2007, 02:47 AM
 
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Feel like I always hop on these at the end. I have been single since before I found out is was pregnant with my twins. He was a kid I knew from when I traveled. He has never seen the boys and we don't talk - I quite honestly don't know how I would get ahold of him. No child support and no custody issues. I am 24 have a buisness designing and sewing clothes, mei tais, slings and other fun stuff made with organic and vintage fabrics.( gigglegagglebaby.com ) I am a full time student in Early Childhood Ed we live with my parents.
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#128 of 181 Old 08-16-2007, 07:20 AM
 
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Hi there,

My name is Kim and I am 33 and a single mama since I was 10 weeks pregnant. My ex is not involved with my son's life, and we are doing just fine on our own. (Noone to argue with!) My little boy is four and a half months old and doing so well (other than fighting his first cold...). I am so glad to have found this board!

Formerly single Mama to the zaniest boy on the block, born on my birthday on 3/28/07. Soon to be Mama to a new little and can't wait to bfinfant.gif and femalesling.GIF and familybed1.gif again! 
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#129 of 181 Old 08-16-2007, 11:44 AM
 
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Guess it's time to add myself here.

I have just started the divorce process and am currently living with my 2 girls at my parent's. They are remodeling so we have no kitchen save a hoopty makeshift one in the garage. Stbx is still in MY house. Getting him out will be a chore. Fortunately, I have the support of his family.

I have two little girls. The oldest is having a bit of a hard time.

I so want this to be done. He acts pitiful and I feel guilty. Gotta work on that.

I have lots of questions so be prepared for much bugging from me.
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#130 of 181 Old 08-21-2007, 01:23 PM
 
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bump!
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#131 of 181 Old 08-21-2007, 04:03 PM
 
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Hi all. I just joined up. I am a single mom to 10 1/2 week old Emma. A lapse in judgement one night led to pregnancy so the "father" is not involved, nor is he aware of my little angel. Looking forward to the advice and support this board seems to offer.
gina
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#132 of 181 Old 08-22-2007, 12:02 AM
 
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My name is Joy. I'm 30 years old and the mother of 3 boys: J. 5yo, I. 3yo, and E. 25 days old. I am in the process of divorcing my husband of 10 years, I left with the kids and filed in May. We currently live with my parents. We drive an hour each way to see stbx, every other weekend (extended) and one night a week. I stay in the guest room with E. so that stbx can get to know him too. I wish there was a faster/more pleasent way thru this crud.

DH&Me  Christ follower, homeschooler, gardener, (insert lots of additional crunchiness here) chicken mama, & occasionally blogger. intactlact.gifMama of  boys 9,7,3.5,&11months....& SURPRISE jaw2.gif  expecting a BOY in November!  7 sweet-babes gone too soon.

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#133 of 181 Old 08-23-2007, 11:40 PM
 
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OK I am officially pulling up a seat here..my husband and I of 15 years are now separating.

Life has not been easy and in the past 4 months he has broke my foot, cheated emotionally on me with another woman, and left me 2x.

Enough is enough.

He cannot come and go as he pleases. The kids and I are not a door mat.

He has mental issues and blames them all on me.

I had cancer but I sure did not blame that on him. Yet he blames me for changing after my cancer now that I am in remission. He misses the old me.

I am not on the PC much but I have been lurking here for the past week reading all the tips and info to know.

SO here I am ...

Free To Be~
Traci
"Living is learning and when kids are living fully and energetically and happily they are learning a lot, even if we don't always know what it is."
~John Holt 

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#134 of 181 Old 08-24-2007, 12:49 AM
 
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Hi mamas,

I suppose I should check in here, though I'm more a Single Parent in progress... still hanging around for support/advice.

Peaceful mama to three blissfully-birthed and incredible small people: dd10, dd7 and ds5. Always awed and so thankful to be a midwife.
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#135 of 181 Old 08-24-2007, 01:03 AM
 
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welcome mamas
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#136 of 181 Old 08-24-2007, 04:43 PM
 
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Hi mamas, I've been on my own for eons now and pretty much set in my ways. None of my kids bio dads( youngest two have same dad) have been able/willing to be decent partners/fathers. Life was unbearably hard for many reasons for a long time, I got domestic violence for way too long till I found the strength to pull out. I love being on my own with my 3 dc, 9,11 and 15. I pretty well despise myself for putting my dc through all that but I have to move on, make life enjoyable and fruitful. I'm totally skint, work very hard and lived on the road for years. I have no family as I was fostered out as a child, I feel quite alone sometimes and wish my dc had a cool extended family or grandparents or something but they've got me and they know it. Just wish I'd had the wisdom earlier that I have learnt now, but things can get tricky I guess especially when others are trying to mess you up. Crazy how many single moms there are, I think it really says something about our society. Women are very strong. Good luck to you all.
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#137 of 181 Old 08-24-2007, 09:29 PM
 
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-

.

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#138 of 181 Old 08-24-2007, 11:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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hi to all the mamas!

calimommie, are you in paradise, ca (i know it's near chico is why i ask)? i have family there! small world...
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#139 of 181 Old 08-24-2007, 11:21 PM
 
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e

wife of my sun and stars

momma to tiny.human v1.0

tiny.human v2.0 summer 2014

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#140 of 181 Old 08-25-2007, 01:14 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Solange View Post
OK I am officially pulling up a seat here..my husband and I of 15 years are now separating.

Life has not been easy and in the past 4 months he has broke my foot, cheated emotionally on me with another woman, and left me 2x.

Enough is enough.

He cannot come and go as he pleases. The kids and I are not a door mat.

He has mental issues and blames them all on me.

I had cancer but I sure did not blame that on him. Yet he blames me for changing after my cancer now that I am in remission. He misses the old me.

I am not on the PC much but I have been lurking here for the past week reading all the tips and info to know.

SO here I am ...
I am really glad that you are taking steps to protect you and your kids. Good for you mama!

M : proud mama to B (16) : and G (8) and : x 2 :
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#141 of 181 Old 08-25-2007, 04:35 PM
 
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hi to all the mamas!

calimommie, are you in paradise, ca (i know it's near chico is why i ask)? i have family there! small world...
Hi! Yep, I'm in Cali. I lived in Paradise for 6 years, and just recently moved back to Chico. There are a couple of other MDC mamas in Paradise too.

.

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#142 of 181 Old 08-26-2007, 11:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi! Yep, I'm in Cali. I lived in Paradise for 6 years, and just recently moved back to Chico. There are a couple of other MDC mamas in Paradise too.
man! i wish i had known that when i had my family reunion up there a month ago!
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#143 of 181 Old 08-29-2007, 01:45 AM
 
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Haven't posted in several months, but here I am again. Still in Ventura, CA, still only separated from stbx because of my need for his health insurance. We share custody and have three boys: 14, 11, and 4.

I teach Italian at the community college. Before that I taught at Yale for many years, but got really sick; and we moved here partly so we could be near my family, especially my mom, who helps a lot with my youngest.

I am really struggling, every single day. Depression, anxiety about money, my future, my kids' future, my prospects for ever, EVER finding someone else I'd like to share my life with...pretty grim stuff. We've been separated over a year now, and it's still just as hard as it was at first.

My story is really long, so if anyone really wants it, look up my archived posts. You can probably piece it together! It's sad.
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#144 of 181 Old 08-29-2007, 06:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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hi kathleen. i share so many of your ails, hope for both of us they'll soon be a distant memories.
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#145 of 181 Old 09-01-2007, 04:09 PM
 
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man! i wish i had known that when i had my family reunion up there a month ago!
I wish we had known! We could have had a playdate with the MDC mamas in the area. Next time you're in the area, PM me!

.

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#146 of 181 Old 09-28-2007, 01:11 AM - Thread Starter
 
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any newbies?
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#147 of 181 Old 09-28-2007, 12:37 PM
 
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yep still fairly new! posted a couple of times, but here is the situation:

during christmas break [thankfully after christmas] he said he had cheated on me and wanted to separate to go think [yes, NOW i know that's the biggest crock]. we were sep. for three months where i am pretty sure he wasn't thinking. came back , we talked [there is another major issue at play but it changes nothing about the situation] and he said he wanted us. he got a new job, nights, pulled away from us and boom! on july 15 he went to work and never came home. i saw him a few times while i was trying to get some $$ from him and he took us out to diiner once. its not the me and him thing that bothers me. it is that he has abandoned his two year old daughter that he had doted on. whatever.

we have begun making the house our own, painting etc. we put a chandelier abaove the toilet!

i teach english, go to grad school and have the babe. stressed!

well 3rd period is starting, must go!

Writer, teacher, and mama to Rhiannon Morningstar 6/28/05
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#148 of 181 Old 10-01-2007, 11:26 AM
 
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Checking in.

Getting a divorce after 10 years of marriage, and on e 5.5 yo dd. We tried everything: couples therapy, individual therapy, separation, lots of date nights. In the end, there was just no way to regain the trust that I lost in him. Every time a little bit got built back up, he did something to knock it down. Also, he has a very bad habit of making big decisions that affect both of us and not telling me about it until it can't be changed - and he cannot wrap his head around how that is not acceptable. There comes a point when you just have to get off the roller coaster, yknow?

Things have moved along very quickly, with a minimum of drama. In the 7 weeks since I told him it was over, we've agreed on everything that has to be done legally, and got all the forms filled out and filed. I'm very very fortunate in that a childhood friend of mine is a lawyer and offered to handle everything for me for free if it all remained uncontested. The whole shebang is costing us $370 in filing fees and $40 each for a mandatory online parenting class. Because this is Florida, it's all no-fault, and should be over within 6 weeks of when we filed (so hopefully some time this month).
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#149 of 181 Old 10-01-2007, 07:47 PM
 
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I've posted a bit, but haven't introduced myself. I became a single parent by choice 17 yrs ago w/ DD, and loved it. But, I went to law school, got caught up with a very demanding career, and started to hear my biological clock ticking. I thought my life was too crazy to do it alone again, but I had never wanted to stop at one child. With no man in sight, I settled big time, and paid for it from day 1. I won't bore you with details; it was just not a good marriage, and after ds1 was born, we stayed together only b/c he would not leave willingly and he had quit his job and stayed home w/ the kids and I worked crazy hours. Even though he was a horrible parent, I had no proof he was so bad that he shouldn't get custody, and my lawyer told me he likely would. Putting up w/ a bad marriage was the only was to protect ds1 (of course dd would come with me). Also, he had 2 other kids he pretty much abandonned and I knew he'd do the same to ds1 once he was out of the house. I convinced myself he was not a horrible dad, and that a mediocre dad was better than no dad. (Turned out "mediocre" was more than a stretch).

Well, I ended up having a bit of a breakdown, to put it gently, 2 yrs ago, and I've been home ever since. He had to go back to work, and his behavior then became intolerable. I got pregnant, and suffice it to say it wasn't because I'd decided to make up with him. Things were just awful after that, because he insisted I have an abortion because he didn't want to have a "retard." (I was on a lot of medication at the time). I refused, and he decided he owed my no support or assistance of any kind b/c I could have had an abortion if I wanted to. He still refused to leave, though. He finally had the gall to lay a hand on me when I was 7 1/2 mos. pregnant. Luckily, we were not hurt and dd called the police. He was arrested and I got a restraining order. He left the state and good riddance. My life is in shambles in many respects, esp. financially, and I've never been so happy in my life.
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#150 of 181 Old 10-02-2007, 06:36 PM
 
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Hi everyone!!! I'm Kristen. and i'm as single as they come! Marriage is for suckers : . haha. Looking forward to chatting here!

Happy wishes,
kristen
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