Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: definitely to the left
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i'm kind of embarrassed to be telling you this for fear someone will call me stupid and gullible. but i'm happy, sad, anxious and hopeful at the same time. if you caught my last post in tao i left for colorado a couple of weeks ago. i had to go to the mountains and refocus. well, the black flies and mosquitos drove me away. and for some reason i just felt that i needed to come home. i had thought that i was going to stay up there for the rest of the summer. away from my husband and away from the mess that our lives are. so i was only there for a few days until i realized that i had to come back and do something about this. i have always been really good at running from things but i can't run from this anymore.
i came home to something that i never expected. i came home to a person who genuinely missed the kids and i when we were gone. he seems to have realized how important we are to him, how much he dumps on us and how bad that is. when i came home we started arguing but it turned into a conversation that i never thought that we would have. he acknowledged, *on his own*, that he has a problem with his anger, that he is verbally abusive, that he needs help and that he is willing to get it.
i pray i'm doing the right thing but i have to follow my gut instinct here. even though he is a lot of things he has never been a liar so i'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt. i'm going to leave this forum and hope one last time that this works out. i want to tell everyone who has shown me the support and understanding that i needed that i appreciate it with all my soul. i have had some very dark days recently and i don't know what i'd do without everyone at mdc. so i'm just going to keep my fingers crossed...