DS first overnight... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 09-05-2007, 02:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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DS is sleeping over at his dads on saturday, he is 12 months. DD will be there too, she will sleep over two nights for the first time. She is three and has slept over a few times before, she loves to be with her daddy.

I think it´s way too early for him, he still nurses all night long. I´ve agreed to this to avoid ex dragging me to court. That said, DS loves his dad, he has been there 3 times a week for some time now. I trust that my ex will do whatever he can to make it as easy as possible for DS.

I guess I am scared. What will it be like for DS. Will he think that I´ve abandoned him? Anyone been there? Could use a hug and some kind words


(As you may know I´m not american and I struggle with the words sometimes, hope it´s understandable though...)
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#2 of 9 Old 09-05-2007, 03:19 PM
 
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Hi Gaea,
I only have a sec right now but will try to write more later. I just wanted to tell you that my DS is 14 months and he went for his 1st overnight last month. It is the same, he nurses all night with me. I felt (and still feel) that it is too soon and unnecessary. But I too wanted to avoid a court battle and more bad feelings and anger that would surely affect DS. My DS loves his Daddy too and sees him 3x/week too.

I want to tell you, though, that it went fine. He woke every hour or so, but X was able to settle him back down pretty easily each time. It really went much better than I'd anticipated. He was pretty nursing-obsessed for a couple of days after that... but I don't think he was traumatized or anything. I was worried about him feeling abandoned too. But I really didn't see any signs of that. He was happy to see me, but didn't cry. He was happy to see X and go to his house next time he saw him. X brought him home 1st thing in the morning and I took him into bed with me and we nursed and cuddled until he was ready to get up and play.

Let me know if you have any more questions or feel free to PM me. I KNOW how hard this is... I didn't sleep that night! What a waste of an opportunity to sleep!

Take care and hugs,
Robin
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#3 of 9 Old 09-05-2007, 03:56 PM
 
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I have no specific advice or experience, but I wanted to offer some hugs.
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#4 of 9 Old 09-07-2007, 06:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you

So tomorrow´s the day. I´m crossing my fingers!
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#5 of 9 Old 09-09-2007, 02:48 AM
 
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Just wanted to check in and see how you're doing?? How is it going or did it go?
Sending good energy for your DS and for you!
Hugs!
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#6 of 9 Old 09-09-2007, 10:42 AM
 
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Just wanted to see how things went.
When my dd went for her first overnight it was actually harder on me than it was on her. I hope that was the case here too, and that things went great for him!!

(And it will get easier for you too. My dd spends eowe at her dad's. The first few months I cried every time dd left, but now I use that time to rejuvenate myself, and actually look forward to my empty bed on Friday night. Of course by Saturday night I'm ready for her to be home, but it's not nearly as hard as it used to be.)

DD: I'm bored and want to play Me: What about me? I can play. DD: No thanks, I mean a real person.
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#7 of 9 Old 09-10-2007, 06:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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It actually went well!!! Oh, I´m so relieved!

Ex had DS in bed with him, he cried a little, but ex was able to calm him every time. I think this is really great! He was very happy when I came and he has been nursing a lot today. But, I think it went as good as it could!

Thanks for asking!
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#8 of 9 Old 09-10-2007, 07:50 AM
 
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I'm glad to hear it went well, Mama! Here is another anyway - can't have too many of them!
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#9 of 9 Old 09-10-2007, 08:01 AM
 
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I am so relieved for you and your babe. Yay! One less thing to worry about.
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