craziness (vent-ish but short) - Page 11 - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-04-2008, 10:46 PM
 
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Can i ask, since i am in Cali too, are you on welfare? Because i am on it my lawyer doesn't want me to go for child support because my ex works under the table also and has told me he will never pay. She told me i will get further with my consistent pay from welfare then through ex. But i really want to get the ball rolling with childsupport. The thing is when you are on welfare i think that any money they do get they keep to pay back welfare. Do you know anything about this. If i could get the ball rolling i would totally get off welfare and only take the child support. With 7 years of marriage and 5 kids i know i would get awarded alot. But obviously with his working under the table it could take forever. SO i am asking what do you know? How long do you think it will take and what the process is they take to get him to pay?Thanks!
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Old 01-05-2008, 12:51 AM
 
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I thought that I would jump in just with what I know.... they would subtract the amount of CS you would receive from him from the amount you are getting from welfare. So likely, you wouldn't get any welfare and live off of the CS (that is dependent on what he is actually claiming to make).
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Old 01-05-2008, 01:04 AM - Thread Starter
 
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oh, i'm not throwing out the dcss thing! i was referring to the divorce part.
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Can i ask, since i am in Cali too, are you on welfare?
no, i'm not on welfare. we don't even qualify for food stamps because i own a car outright and a mobile home too. and honestly i just assumed that means we wouldn't qualify for welfare. hopefully some of these other wise mamas can advise you.

btw, where in california do you live? pm me if you'd rather!
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Old 01-05-2008, 01:30 AM
 
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Thanks, i found a little bit of info which is that they keep all the money they would get from him and give me $50 a month if he does pay. So from the child support calculator it looks like he would be ordered around $1300 which means they keep that $1300 but send me $50 of it. They consider it paying back the gov't what i got in Welfare. What i want to find out is if they take the case to court and get the support ordered and are able to get $1300 or whatever a month from him, if i get off welfare do they keep taking the child support to pay back all the time i was on it or do i actually receive it? The gov't is so screwy that i am afraid of that. I can't just hop off of support now and go for the child support. I would end up homeless! Thanks for the info though!

I am in NorCal about 4 hrs north of Sacramento.
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Old 01-05-2008, 03:14 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Avani View Post
Thanks, i found a little bit of info which is that they keep all the money they would get from him and give me $50 a month if he does pay. So from the child support calculator it looks like he would be ordered around $1300 which means they keep that $1300 but send me $50 of it. They consider it paying back the gov't what i got in Welfare. What i want to find out is if they take the case to court and get the support ordered and are able to get $1300 or whatever a month from him, if i get off welfare do they keep taking the child support to pay back all the time i was on it or do i actually receive it? The gov't is so screwy that i am afraid of that. I can't just hop off of support now and go for the child support. I would end up homeless! Thanks for the info though!

I am in NorCal about 4 hrs north of Sacramento.
you should be able to go to the division of child support enforcement and get the ball rolling yourself. I just had to fill out papers, and he was gasrnished the following week, but I am in wa. I imagine it is pretty similar though. Are you on food stamps? If so ask your worker how to collect cs. I am living on cs and food stamps right now.

Single mama to Alex(13), Maddy(12), Sam(8), Violet(6), and Ruby(3). fly-by-nursing1.gif
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Old 01-08-2008, 12:21 PM
 
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for Parker. I was her at one time in my life. I felt that there must be something wrong with me deep inside or my father would not have left. Please try to reassure her that she is loved (even that her father loves her) but that he just did not know how to be a good father/husband. He made the bad choices - it is his fault. Also, point out other good guys that stay with their families so she does not think that every man leaves.

I feel that every child needs to know that they are loved by both parents and if they don't really know that then they will grow up feeling unloveable inside. I tried to be the perfect child and overachiever to make him see what he was missing.

So sad...
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Old 01-08-2008, 01:54 PM
 
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Poor Ms. P.

Amy at Stone Fence Farm
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Old 01-19-2008, 09:50 PM
 
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I can't comment on the blog but I wanted to let you know that a place for exchanging kids does exist here in TX. My BIL has used it ever since his son was little and it has been a lifesaver. It is called KidShare in San Antonio Texas. I think more places like this need to be opened. It works exactly like you imagined it would!
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Old 01-20-2008, 01:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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ooh, maybe there's one in california too...
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Old 01-20-2008, 01:53 PM
 
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The YWCA here is just one place where exchanges occur. You could call a DV shelter and ask them, they usually are a good clearinghouse for this kind of info.
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