craziness (vent-ish but short) - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 310 Old 09-19-2007, 01:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
Still_Snarky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: californ.i.a.
Posts: 3,228
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i found out last night from b (my business partner/friend/? see dating thread ) that my stbx and the woman are in italy. he's given me no itinerary, no way to contact him, wouldn't even tell me where he was going for 10 days (love the grapevine). all he would say is that he's been saving for six months and i can't make him feel guilty about it. let's see...six months ago he was swearing up and down that he wasn't having an affair, we were in therapy spending thousands of dollars and he was telling me "don't worry, you guys are my family, i'll always take care of you."

i don't care that he's with her. i don't care that he's in italy. i don't care. but he told me he's broke and despite making close to $5k a month all he could give me this month is $200. that's down from $2500. i have so many ua violations bottled up but i guess i'll save that for my blog.

needless to say i'm really really really: :

and i'm meeting with one of the most high powered, bulldog lawyers in the bay area this evening. wish me luck; i think this is about to get really nasty and i never thought i'd be here. :
Still_Snarky is offline  
#2 of 310 Old 09-19-2007, 01:37 PM
 
WatermelonSnow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,235
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Man, that hole R is digging for himself just got a lot deeper.

I suspect your attorney may just chortle with glee : .
WatermelonSnow is offline  
#3 of 310 Old 09-19-2007, 01:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
Still_Snarky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: californ.i.a.
Posts: 3,228
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i hope some of this crap has legal bearing. i mean, i'm ready for this hole to have some freaking consequences. there have been zero consequences for his behavior for TEN months now.
Still_Snarky is offline  
#4 of 310 Old 09-19-2007, 02:22 PM
 
Avani's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,958
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You have to get proof he is in Italy because you can soooo use that in court when going for custody and child support. Him going without saying anything and without having given you any money for so long will look so good for you. He just made a major snafu without really realizing it.
Avani is offline  
#5 of 310 Old 09-19-2007, 02:54 PM
 
WatermelonSnow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,235
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avani View Post
You have to get proof he is in Italy because you can soooo use that in court when going for custody and child support. Him going without saying anything and without having given you any money for so long will look so good for you. He just made a major snafu without really realizing it.
I bet, if it comes down to it, you can subpoena any visa applications or passport records. At the very least, you could ask for his passport when you request documents during the discovery period.
WatermelonSnow is offline  
#6 of 310 Old 09-19-2007, 03:20 PM
 
kerplunk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Bay Area, CA
Posts: 166
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Still_Snarky View Post
all he would say is that he's been saving for six months and i can't make him feel guilty about it. let's see...six months ago he was swearing up and down that he wasn't having an affair, we were in therapy spending thousands of dollars and he was telling me "don't worry, you guys are my family, i'll always take care of you."
Isn't that funny when they think we can't do math?

On the plus side, I really admire how detatched you sound about him taking this woman to Italy! I know I still let every little thing x does really get under my skin and mess with my head.

Good luck with the lawyer tonight!

You're in the bay area too? Awesome.
kerplunk is offline  
#7 of 310 Old 09-19-2007, 03:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
Still_Snarky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: californ.i.a.
Posts: 3,228
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Isn't that funny when they think we can't do math?


Quote:
On the plus side, I really admire how detatched you sound about him taking this woman to Italy! I know I still let every little thing x does really get under my skin and mess with my head.
it started out as just an act. the more i've practiced it, the more it has become reality. when i found out last night i wanted to crawl out of my ever-loving skin. i don't care. i don't care. and now, guess what? don't care!

Quote:
Good luck with the lawyer tonight!


Quote:
You're in the bay area too? Awesome.
we should plan an mdc single mamas get-together!
Still_Snarky is offline  
#8 of 310 Old 09-19-2007, 03:47 PM
 
LLobsterTV's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: in a sea of yarn
Posts: 1,384
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I cannot even put into words how disgusted I am. Just when I thought he couldn't stoop any lower.....

good luck with the lawyer, and remember we're all rooting for you!
LLobsterTV is offline  
#9 of 310 Old 09-19-2007, 03:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
Still_Snarky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: californ.i.a.
Posts: 3,228
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Avani View Post
You have to get proof he is in Italy because you can soooo use that in court when going for custody and child support. Him going without saying anything and without having given you any money for so long will look so good for you. He just made a major snafu without really realizing it.
this is the upside to crap like this!
Still_Snarky is offline  
#10 of 310 Old 09-19-2007, 03:49 PM
 
LLobsterTV's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: in a sea of yarn
Posts: 1,384
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Still_Snarky View Post
we should plan an mdc single mamas get-together!

no fair! i wanna come!
LLobsterTV is offline  
#11 of 310 Old 09-19-2007, 03:57 PM
 
mmace's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Southwestern Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,066
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh, if there is an MDC Single Mama meet up, I'm flying out there - $$$ be damned!

Celeste, I've said it before and I'll say it again - apparently we married the same man. Isn't it amazing how stupid they think we are! I told him three weeks ago that I was (finally!) filing for divorce, and suddenly in that very same conversation I was told that the overtime at work has "all dried up" and "we won't be able to set child support on what I've earned so far this year". What a UA Violation...
mmace is offline  
#12 of 310 Old 09-19-2007, 03:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
Still_Snarky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: californ.i.a.
Posts: 3,228
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think we have the beginnings of a meet-up ladies!
Still_Snarky is offline  
#13 of 310 Old 09-19-2007, 04:12 PM
 
kerplunk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Bay Area, CA
Posts: 166
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yay! Really?!

I'm stuck in couplesville (not that I don't love my married friends, skw, if you read this!) and would LOVE a single MDC mamas meet-up!
kerplunk is offline  
#14 of 310 Old 09-19-2007, 04:35 PM
 
Stone Fence's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,326
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Read the blog and almost:Puke

I'm glad you were mad Celeste. REALLY glad that you found a bulldog lawyer. Nail R to the wall. Please

Sorry, I'm not a single mama, just stalking Celeste.

Amy at Stone Fence Farm
:
Stone Fence is offline  
#15 of 310 Old 09-19-2007, 05:04 PM
 
whatta_mama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Wonderland
Posts: 93
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by kerplunk View Post

You're in the bay area too? Awesome.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Still_Snarky View Post
:

we should plan an mdc single mamas get-together!

I think we have the beginnings of a meet-up ladies!
Quote:
Originally Posted by kerplunk View Post
Yay! Really?!

I'm stuck in couplesville (not that I don't love my married friends, skw, if you read this!) and would LOVE a single MDC mamas meet-up!
Oh Ladies don't forget about me. I am STARVING for some social interaction and so is my dd.

ETA: nice to know you found a great lawyer! Go get em tiger!

~Single Working Mama of two
whatta_mama is offline  
#16 of 310 Old 09-19-2007, 05:11 PM
 
mamameg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Wine Country, CA
Posts: 2,872
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
C, I'm not single but I've been following your story for sometime now. Saw your last blog post and came here to send some support and encouragement. In all honestly, R has just done you a huge favor. HUGE. He is screwing himself, as the court will not look favorably on his actions. But you know this. Because you are a smartie pants.

Still reading the blog regularly and thinking of you a lot, sending strength and support and courage.
mamameg is offline  
#17 of 310 Old 09-20-2007, 12:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
Still_Snarky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: californ.i.a.
Posts: 3,228
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
finally found a lawyer i'm confident in. thank goodness...
Still_Snarky is offline  
#18 of 310 Old 09-20-2007, 11:32 AM
 
cycle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 2,195
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Still_Snarky View Post
finally found a lawyer i'm confident in. thank goodness...
I'm so glad you found a lawyer - I hope he/she is very aggressive and as disgusted as all of us are at you STBX's behavior. I have no words that can accurately describe how horrified I am that your STBX thinks it was ok to spend money on a trip and just, oh well, not help support you and his children.
cycle is offline  
#19 of 310 Old 09-20-2007, 01:48 PM
 
Quindin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 5,761
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Celeste

I was following the "I am so Scared" thread since November, and then it was shut down But I keep checking your blog, and could not believe what I read this morning. What a R is!!!



I have no idea how child support stuff works, so I am wondering if it is possible to make the guy pay retroactively??? He owes you BIG and you need to drag him to court! What a UA!!! I can't believe this!

P.S. I miss being able to leave messages on your blog...
Quindin is offline  
#20 of 310 Old 09-20-2007, 02:18 PM
 
Spring Sun's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Boulder/Atlanta
Posts: 2,354
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I get really worked up for you, too. Dh left me and ds around the same time. I sometimes wish he was just absent, that way I coul djust deal with the money thing myself and then have full custody and nothing to worry about. I am lucky, though, he is a decent dad and does pay some. But the drama involved really sucks, and I am not sure lately what good of an influence he is being on ds, I am starting to get scared.

Move on with your life, mama!
Spring Sun is offline  
#21 of 310 Old 09-20-2007, 04:45 PM
 
muckemom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: In the mountains of Idaho!!!
Posts: 2,286
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Still_Snarky View Post
: we should plan an mdc single mamas get-together!
I'm in the Bay Area too!!!!
muckemom is offline  
#22 of 310 Old 09-20-2007, 06:45 PM
 
fek&fuzz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: down in the hunker
Posts: 9,059
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
:
just another stalker wanting to see what goes down.

see if you can get some photos from Italy, like if he posts them somewhere or emails them to a cousin who like you.
fek&fuzz is offline  
#23 of 310 Old 09-20-2007, 07:54 PM
 
bigeyes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: hawaii
Posts: 7,734
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Still_Snarky View Post
this is the upside to crap like this!
I just want to say I'm glad you got some good advice and he was foolish enough to give you ammo.

You deserve better.

for intuitive readings click here :
bigeyes is offline  
#24 of 310 Old 09-21-2007, 03:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
Still_Snarky's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: californ.i.a.
Posts: 3,228
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Quindin View Post
P.S. I miss being able to leave messages on your blog...
if my blog stalker stops reading (and i'd imagine he's getting bored) i'll reinstate the comments feature. i miss it too! :

Quote:
Originally Posted by fek&fuzz View Post
see if you can get some photos from Italy, like if he posts them somewhere or emails them to a cousin who like you.
he was dumb enough to call from his hotel to my cell phone today. i looked up the number. i know he's in florence and i even know which hotel.
Still_Snarky is offline  
#25 of 310 Old 09-21-2007, 03:33 AM
 
bigeyes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: hawaii
Posts: 7,734
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Still_Snarky View Post

he was dumb enough to call from his hotel to my cell phone today. i looked up the number. i know he's in florence and i even know which hotel.
I hope the hurt wears off quickly and you can move forward to pity.


you just have to kind of

: at him.

The next call his attorney gets from your attorney should be interesting.

for intuitive readings click here :
bigeyes is offline  
#26 of 310 Old 09-21-2007, 05:28 AM
 
Quindin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 5,761
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh, I soooo hope you can nail his butt!
He is either too confident he can't get caught on his lies about $$$ OR just plain missing some screws!
Does he really believe he can get away with all this BS?

I am looking forward to day I read how the judge has made him pay everything he owes!!: Then no more trips to Florence, or nose jobs for girlfriends!
Quindin is offline  
#27 of 310 Old 09-21-2007, 08:03 AM
 
fek&fuzz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: down in the hunker
Posts: 9,059
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Still_Snarky View Post
if my blog stalker stops reading (and i'd imagine he's getting bored) i'll reinstate the comments feature. i miss it too! :



he was dumb enough to call from his hotel to my cell phone today. i looked up the number. i know he's in florence and i even know which hotel.
ugh.
but, that just screws him even more since he can't say he was on a bargain trip staying in hostels...
fek&fuzz is offline  
#28 of 310 Old 09-21-2007, 08:55 AM
 
lulu1213's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 276
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
hi celeste,
i've been internet stalking you for months now! i remember reading the entire "i'm so scared' thread one night while my DH was out of town, and i've been following your blog ever since. i've got you bookmarked in safari in my 'friends' folder, because i love your writing and wish we could be!

if i might be so bold as to offer a tiny insight...it might help at some point to deeply reflect on this whole italy thing. i think you can't really overlook the fact that r is trying to take your soul to war with this particular action.

many years ago, my 'soul mate' dumped me and brought his Ow into the restaurant where i worked at the time for her birthday. and i had to WAIT ON THEM. (it wasn't the only restaurant in town, just like italy isn't the only country in the world). i won that battle (and the entire soul war) though, because i kept my cool, and he eventually had to walk out, cause he couldn't take it.

i think r is totally challenging you. think 'warrior' because now is when you're going to war with him. if not in court (but it looks like that's working out well), at least on some unexplicable level.
lulu1213 is offline  
#29 of 310 Old 09-21-2007, 09:04 AM
 
Maluhia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: in Paradise with my Papaya!
Posts: 5,157
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow.
He is in it deep now.
Sick that lawyer on him good.
Hugs to you,

Your User Agreement here at MDC, read it and make it your friend and read the FAQ to answer all the questions of the (MDC) world.
Maluhia is offline  
#30 of 310 Old 09-21-2007, 09:09 AM
 
mamak05's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: the Pac NW!
Posts: 696
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hey Celeste,

Another one who is not single here to offer support! It seems like you're handling everything in your life so well - even the shut down of your Not So Scared thread. Thankfully, your children can depend on you!! Too bad we can't say that about r.

I hope when he gets back from his "honeymoon" trip he gets quite a surprise from the legal gods. I'll be reading your blog and just saying my comments outloud.

Your actions are right on target, even if sometimes your mind and emotions are feeling otherwise. You can do it!

mamak
mamak05 is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off