Single?!? NAH!! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 8 Old 03-12-2002, 08:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I have been hatching this idea lately and wanted to bounce it off this board. Thanks for reading, here goes:

I hate being typecast/labeled/stereotyped as a "single mom"! THere's not one thing single about me! I have my daughter and she has me, no singledom here! So if I had a partner I would just be a mom? No "single," just "mom?" I am raising her with an amazing support group of both chosen and genetic family, I live in a great community for raising kids, she is loved beyond belief. I reiterate: nothing single! Am I kooky or what but this irritates me!

There are some connotations to being a "single mom" that irritate me equally. Personally, I am college educated, manage to AP my daughter (who everyone swears is the best toddler), have a great job I enjoy and I have a rich social life of people who love my girl. I sleep snuggled up next to the cutest thing in fuzzy pink pajamas; why do I need a partner to be "mom" instead of "single mom?" Am I a second class mom?

Ideas???
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#2 of 8 Old 03-12-2002, 09:10 PM
 
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Happyday has called herself "Tribal Goddess" and I loved it!

Eden yikes.gif, working on a PhD in Education mama to Laurelleshamrocksmile.gif (16), Orijoy.gif (6), Yarrowfaint.gif (4) and Linusfly-by-nursing1.gif (1) partner to Brice. 
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#3 of 8 Old 03-12-2002, 11:07 PM
 
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I agree totally with you Maurica. There is a very negative conotation to the term single Mom. It implies that they are lesser than Mom's who are married with 2.5 kids. : It's total bullshit. Society is keen on labeling people but we don't have to give in to it. I never called myself a single Mom. I was just a Mom.
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#4 of 8 Old 03-13-2002, 11:00 AM
 
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I am proud to be a single mama!! To me, single mama means independent, strong, ass kicking mama!

Of course, I really don't care what others think, so that helps too!! People don't know how hard it is being a single mama. I don't want people to think I am partnered. I want them to know I am doing this alone and doing a damn fine job.

Hope you find a title you like, but after all, it's just a title...

Love,
Christi
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#5 of 8 Old 03-13-2002, 11:39 AM
 
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I am a firm believer in the retaking of words and their stereotypes ( Hence wht I call myself Mami Mala- Bad Mami)
So I claim my single motherhood with pride I want people to know that I am doing this motherhood thing on my own terms and my daughter's terms. and doing a good job at it despite what statistics articles and the mainstream may say.

Paz and power.

MM
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#6 of 8 Old 03-13-2002, 03:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the replies, it's great to hear form other moms. I understand the pride of being a solo mama, I feel that too, especially when I was a new mom very alone in my parenting ideals (compared to my family). It helped that all the single moms I knew were amazing, creative, independent (even anti-establishment!) and educated. Fantastic mothers to learn and grow with! In fact, all of my AP friends are single moms but one (and to be honest, she wishes she were single a good chunk of the time!). I love being a single mom, I just dislike being called one. Maybe it's an authority thing to me because I'm young (24 next month). I'm even reluctant to consider marrying because I enjoy my single-hood so much. Oh, yeah, and I guess I should find a nice guy first....but that's an entirely different topic!

That "tribal goddess" term cracks me up! What about "pioneer mom"? That has a good ring to it...
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#7 of 8 Old 03-14-2002, 01:32 AM
 
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Single moms are cool because they do it all and manage to raise some kick fanny kids! I am married to a man who was raised by a single mom. He totally respects what I did before I had him. The coolest young men and women I know all had single moms. I think the boys especially learn to respect women when they see their moms manage it all with such aplomb. The girls grow up to be great moms with or without husbands because they have such great role models.
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#8 of 8 Old 03-20-2002, 02:01 AM
 
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Hello everybody!

I'm also a single mama, and I agree with mayasmama98,
Being a single mama makes me feel like an independent, strong asskicking mama.

Anette Mama to wonderful Miranda01
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