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#91 of 112 Old 01-26-2008, 01:28 AM
 
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Beloved K: Good luck and fill us in on how it goes! I really admire your perspective.

That's what I'm here to ramble about tonight... my own perspective. I've still been really up and down and anxious feeling about this guy. I saw him tonight and had a really great time, as I always do. But I had to cut the evening much shorter than usual because of childcare issues. As I drove away I felt happy, tingly... all that. And I felt like it was mutual and we'd go out again soon, as he implied. Then, somehow in the 15 minutes it took me to get home I started wondering if the kiss wasn't good for him... I was anxious about getting home to my sitter so maybe I wasn't focused enough. And maybe I won't hear from him for a long time again and I won't know if he wants to see me or not. And I wish he'd offered up a specific time so I could start working on childcare... and will he email or call tomorrow to tell me he had a good time. Are you getting the idea here? I'm like crazy/obsessive/anxious. I just can't seem to relax and let things happen. And I started wondering why. I mean, what's the very worst thing... he doesn't really like me and things don't work out. Sure, that would make me sad. But come on, I only met the guy a month ago. I won't be any worse off than I am now and I'll have had some fun dates. And if he doesn't like me, then he's not the right guy for me. And also... why so anxious to make plans immediately. If things move slow, so what? What am I in such a hurry for?

I think this is REALLY really wrapped up in feelings of rejection. My xh left me for another woman. And has said some not very nice things to me in the past that while I know logically are not true, I think have stuck with me. And the last guy I really fell for before xh was never really that into me. We were sort of friends with benefits and I wanted more and he didn't and while he was a good guy, it wasn't good for my self esteem. And I kind of sort of got involved with one guy last year who kept seeking me out, then when I returned interest, would retreat. It has been a very long time since anyone has been REALLY into me. And I don't even know if xh was ever as really into me as I thought...I think I may have just been a conquest to him.

This guy I've been dating... I really like him. I love the way he talks about his kids, his job, his perspective on stuff. I admire his life choices. I love that he thinks about his past relationship and analyzes what went wrong. I find him very attractive... both cute and sexy. I love the way he kisses.

I don't think I'm SO desperate to be in a relationship or in such a huge rush for that. I think I just feel really anxious about what he thinks of me. I think I feel like he couldn't possibly be as into me. I think what I'm in a rush for is to NOT FEEL this awful insecurity. I think I worry that there's something wrong with me. I don't really think of myself as such an insecure person... but this dating thing has REALLY brought this out in me.

As as long as I'm rambling here. I also have a bad case of "one wrong move sydrome!" I constantly think I have ruined everything by calling or not calling. By saying the wrong thing at the wrong moment. By letting on how much I like him or not letting on enough.

It's all very tiring!

So... what do I do with this? It's not really something logic would cure. I certainly know what I'd say to any of you. I would just like to be able to relax and enjoy this. To pick up the phone and call him if I feel like it. To not get so knotted up inside if he doesn't call. To not question and obsess about every little thing. To just wait and see without obsessing, you know? And to not feel like it would be so devastating if it turned out that he wasn't that into me.

Sorry this was so long... thanks for reading!
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#92 of 112 Old 01-26-2008, 07:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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((((hugs))))

That sounds difficult. Usually when I have a bad feeling, I try to relax and just feel it, and try to turn my thoughts over to the great mystery (or the Universe, whatever you call it) It is comforting to be able to turn ove my worries and focus on the fact that all thigs are happening in the way they are happening for a reason.

The more you dwell on your worries, the more likely they are to come true (in my belief)
((((hugs))))

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#93 of 112 Old 01-26-2008, 01:37 PM
 
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Thanks so much for encouragement Funnily enough thinking that maybe just maybe I should have stopped looking in all the wrong places to begin with and try something new-b/c now this is where i might find him.

Cannot imagine what a spot it must be for you with regards to your boss-
I am picturing now Jerry McGuire....mmmmm Yum!
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#94 of 112 Old 01-27-2008, 01:28 AM
 
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Dear Universe: BelovedK really really needs a break. Please give her a sign. If it's not going to be this guy for her, let her know quickly so she doesn't have to waste her time and get her hopes up. Again. You've been good about giving her signs quickly, Universe, I'll give you that. The only thing is, Universe, that that was rather a loonnnnnnnng string of new men with quick bad signs, Universe. I mean, I guess what I'm saying is, either give her a good man, or give her a break. Preferably a good man. Please? Because otherwise it's just getting a bit sick, yk? Thanks, Universe. I knew you'd understand.


robinchap1 that sounds like a lot of anxiety, sweetie. I can relate. I think it is made worse by the fact (am i right?) that he tends to let a few days go passed without contacting you, and you are reluctant to contact him? The less information, the more of a free reign for your anxious imagination. Hopefully as you two get more comfortable with each other, more regular contact can start up and you can breathe more. In the meantime I really feel compassion for your plight. Hang in there.
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#95 of 112 Old 01-27-2008, 01:30 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mz_libbie22 View Post
He's my boss.

I know, I know...

*sigh*
Can you quit?




Sometimes the life of a single mom can seem like a bad joke.
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#96 of 112 Old 01-27-2008, 01:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Zeta View Post
Dear Universe: BelovedK really really needs a break. Please give her a sign. If it's not going to be this guy for her, let her know quickly so she doesn't have to waste her time and get her hopes up. Again. You've been good about giving her signs quickly, Universe, I'll give you that. The only thing is, Universe, that that was rather a loonnnnnnnng string of new men with quick bad signs, Universe. I mean, I guess what I'm saying is, either give her a good man, or give her a break. Preferably a good man. Please? Because otherwise it's just getting a bit sick, yk? Thanks, Universe. I knew you'd understand.


                                Whatever will be, already is...
 
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#97 of 112 Old 01-27-2008, 03:06 AM
 
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BelovedK-sending positive thoughts your way.

Same with singlemomof4
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#98 of 112 Old 01-27-2008, 09:50 AM
 
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So Friday night I met up with a man, I had been talking to him for a while online and there was just this....ohh.....connection! I have never laughed so hard in talking to a stranger ever before, he was charming, flirty,whitty and to top it all of he's best described as someone crossing between handsome and hot hahaha
He calls me this same night while we're talking online and this is usually something I never do (give # out,let alone give it out to strangers). He calls me and yet again right off the bat he has me laughing hysterically! This is something foreign to me as my children make me laugh and smile everyday but nont like a man who makes you feel warm and tingly like you've known them forever does! then his phone dies! We continue to talk online, then decided crazy for both of us nearly midnight and instead of saying good night and going offline he should come over! I had no clue what I was thinking, but something about this guy just feels so right!

He comes over, and he is nothing short of wonderfully amusing and quirky and sweet and having me come out of my shell I have hidden in for the last 9 yrs, he had me actually NOT thinking before I responded and just saying and doing what came natural. I felt like such a school girl, giddy and nervous. We watched a movie...wel no wait...we watched an hour or so of a movie and snuggled on my very small love seat the entire time.
It felt like we have known eachother forever! So the fact that while my four lil ones slept soundly in their beds I was snuggling in my livingroom with someone I had only met that night really wasn't crossing my mind.
By half way point in the movie he had kissed me and OMG all over woosh of butterflies came through my entire body! I have NEVER felt this! Honestly. I was inlove with the idea of being loved and inlove while with my ex so actually feeling emotion at just a kiss is a huge deal for me!

Sooo when our evening turns itself into the wee morning hours we finally say Goodnight and he leaves with a reminder of the night we had, kissing me and smiling, looking at me telling me he will call me or talk to me online tomorrow, then kisses me goodnight again. I went to my bed, and felt on cloud nine...

but then last night I think somewhere around 7pm I started to slip off cloud nine and began analyzing, over thinking and wondering why he had'nt called yet..... I have talked to pretty much every gf of mine and all have said same to me-"you have his number too? so call him already!" and i did, leaving a message and rambling like an idiot (nervous habit)
Shortly after I fell asleep on my couch. I woke this morning to see that he hadn't called while i was sleeping, but then now getting all worked up in thinking -maybe he changed his mind? Which is crazy! But this is a lil devulgement into my personality-I worry! (about silly things to boot)

Any of you there who can empathize with an already confused single woman please give me all the reassurance I can get! Before I go out of my mind over here thinking it was something I did rather than he was probably just caught up and forgot!
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#99 of 112 Old 01-27-2008, 01:18 PM
 
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Singlemomof4: What a magical evening! Let us know when you hear from him. I totally understand your anxiety (in case you haven't read my neurotic posts!). This dating stuff is SO hard, and most of us single moms are a little (or a lot!) extra vulnerable, I think. Usually the kind of connection you are describing, I think, is mutual. I'd be very surprised if you don't hear from him. There could be all kinds of explanations (including exhaustion from being up all night!). I think it's GREAT that you called him. Good for you. Try to relax and breathe and go about your day and give it another day or so. And keep us posted! It's happened to me a couple of times with this guy I've been seeing. We'll have this amazing, fantastic evening and I'll expect to hear from him very soon and I don't. I start to think he must just not be that into me (or, like you, that I did something wrong) and then he'll call and ask me out again and it starts all over!

Beloved K and Zeta: Thank you for your support and encouragement. I actually feel better having vented all that and thought about where some of this insecurity must be coming from. Yes, Zeta, you are correct. The longer I don't hear from him, the more my crazy, over-thinking mind takes off! I'm trying to just take it one day at a time and work on ways to improve how I'm feeling about myself within me, not related to what a guy thinks, you know?

By the way... wtf does "warm regards" mean??? When a guy signs an email like that?
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#100 of 112 Old 01-27-2008, 02:24 PM
 
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THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR SUPPORT! You and I are VERY alike in thinking I see lol

He emailed me!!!! Just this morning. He saw that i had called last night but said that he didn't answer phone to anyone.
I feel all happy happy happy again! Just waiting another ten minutes or so til anxiety sets in lol
He has alot going on with work and home that he needs to get dealt with but said in message he had GREAT time Friday night too

He said he wants to sort out what he can and will be in touch soon.

Keep you posted on what happens out of this
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#101 of 112 Old 01-27-2008, 02:37 PM
 
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Yay singlemomof4! It's hard not to be anxious. Try to bask in the happy feeling as long as you can.

Sending more good thoughts your way.
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#102 of 112 Old 01-27-2008, 02:43 PM
 
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Basking neck deep in happy feelings!
Thank You So much for the added good thoughts.
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#103 of 112 Old 01-29-2008, 08:40 PM
 
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So I went on my 3rd date with new guy last night. I am very much diggin' him. Goodness. I'm all a-flutter.
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#104 of 112 Old 01-30-2008, 12:29 PM
 
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Horray for the flutter! Wishing I was...but I am thinking I need to post in the families interfeering posts...more later
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#105 of 112 Old 01-30-2008, 04:49 PM
 
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Hi all I'm kinda new here I did post once but kinda went off in my own world as usual LOL. Anyways I am having a hard time finding a good man. Sucks but I'm so insecure about everything. I hate when I talk to someone and they dont call back and I guess I just feel I'm not cut out for this dating crap. Maybe I just need more time. I feel so blah these days I think it's cuz the divorce is finally starting and I just feel like there is something I could have done to prevent all of this.
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#106 of 112 Old 01-31-2008, 10:32 PM
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Okay, so I'm actually going out on a date tomorrow night. I've met several men for 'coffee' the last couple of months, but this is the first guy I've been insterested enough in to be wiling to leave my son during the evening and get a babysitter and all that....so, of course I'm nervous about a million things and tonight found myself wondering what other folks do at the moment the check arrives...how many of you offer to pay? do some of you just sit graciously by and thank him? do you pay for half? My date is tomorrow night and I would love some feedback!!! Thanks...
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#107 of 112 Old 02-01-2008, 11:31 AM
 
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I dont date awhole lot but I would deffinetly offer to pay my own.
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#108 of 112 Old 02-04-2008, 08:04 PM
 
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So quick update
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#109 of 112 Old 02-05-2008, 11:58 AM
 
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oh.my.goodness. I've lurked on these threads for a while just wishing I had reason to post. I finally belong here and I'm very excited! I'm really surprised at how weird it is to be dating. Now, granted, I only ever dated as a teenager cause I was real young when I got serious with ex, so just dating as adults is strange in and of itself. I realized I don't know the rules.

So, after being separated for over a year, I got asked out (by a completely gorgeous guy). He actually knows about water birth and homebirth and doulas and ebf and cosleeping and plenty more. He's a freak of nature. When we first met (I was with a gf who knew him - we just ran into him, it wasn't set up or anything) we got a little hammered (ok, I don't get out much, so cut me some slack) and talked about everything from racism to religion to feminism. He's really educated and opinionated but fortunately we agreed on nearly everything.

So, he texted me a week and a half later (here's where the rules come in - is it normal to wait that long? I had given up all hope! and texting, really?) and we set plans for that following friday. He texted me at least three times a day starting on tuesday, and called me twice.
I went to his house to watch a movie (rules again - what kind of a date IS that?) and we had a good time, like, umm, a really good time. heh. I unintentionally got totally hammered again (I have zero self control, really) and maybe acted very differently than I would have otherwise. It was kind of awkward for a while, which was weird, and led to more drinking (thus becoming a drunken slob). I mean, I know we're just getting to know eachother so it will be weird, but maybe that's where I need some BTDT advice.

On monday I texted him to say that if we're going to do something this week I needed to get a sitter. I can't stand the suspense of waiting and I'm worried it makes me a little paranoid and then I act, perhaps, a little crazy. I really don't want to scare anyone off. I'm really worried about being/seeming too clingy. I don't think I've done much to give this impression, but again, I don't know the rules so I don't know how I've differed from that. We're going to *probably* go out on friday, but he'll call me about times cause he's a got later work thing. That's not blowing me off, is it? I felt like he was really into me, but I'm starting to doubt. I don't actually know how into this guy I am, but I can see that he's a real catch. His last girlfriend broke-up with him because he was too serious. That's a foreign concept to me. I'm actually worried I'm going to spontaniously fall in love with someone just because he's around. I don't know, I'm messed up.



I'm sorry this is such a book. I've tried to cut out as much as possible. I'm in sorry shape here ladies, I need some support!
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#110 of 112 Old 02-05-2008, 04:07 PM
 
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[B]lunar forest[B]Holy Cow! I think I may have just found my double in life! I am in the exact same boat as you.....not a word of a lie!

I think the only difference is the time span between separation and starting the dating game again. (for me it was nearly 2 1/2 yrs) and even still I think I might be just as lost as I was to begin with!

You said "So, he texted me a week and a half later (here's where the rules come in - is it normal to wait that long? I had given up all hope! and texting, really?) and we set plans for that following friday."
Now for me it isn't texting but rather messenger and facebook lol but umm I would like to think this is the norm now a days. Otherwise we're both doing something wrong! hahaha

You also said " I went to his house to watch a movie (rules again - what kind of a date IS that?) and we had a good time, like, umm, a really good time. "
I am thinking again that this must be normal in the world of dating these days...I THINK that is clasified as a date. I sure hope someone corrects me if I am wrong. For me it was him coming here two weeks ago(?) I don't really know, I have a memory like a siv...read back in posts, you can read what happened with me. Then again this past Friday night ;which BTW thanks for writing your post to give me reason to babble about my situation lol NOT in anyway shape or form stealing thunder...just relating We got together this past Fri. All of my children were at a gf's house down the street for a sleepover to have this night take place. It works really well for us, I send my kids for one night I take hers the next and so forth. Lucky to have this as opposed to paying for a sitter you have to wake up when you go home I must add!

Anyways he came here, bottle of wine in had and we hadn't really planned it out at all! I don't even own a corkscrew or wine glasses! hahahaha I borrowed glasses from a neighbour and we stood for half hour in kitchen trying to pry cork out with a kitchen knife and screwdriver! OMG! Hilarious. So we drank, which also BTW I don't normally drink at all. We sat facing eachother at each end of my couch, talked, laughed, joked, flirted and needless to say had a wonderful evening. Just as if not more magical than the first...again you would have to read my very first postings to understand what I mean. But since then we have only talked on messenger, and via email. I am guessing this is the way it's done. I just today much like yourself emailed him saying we should really try doing something outside of my livingroom hahaha Haven't heard anything back yet.

So long and short of it is that You are NOT alone in not knowing rules, ettiquette etc of dating. I am right there with you! Hopefully we can figure this all out together and with the help of the fellow mama's on here
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#111 of 112 Old 02-05-2008, 04:56 PM
 
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oh gosh I'm glad I'm not alone in this! phew! I feel like such a dork not knowing what's going on. I have to admit I really liked all the attention I was getting last week, and now I'm starting to wonder if we didn't hit it off as well as I thought. OR (and this is what I'm hoping) he's worried that he's coming on too strong and is trying to not overwhelm me and give me space. I could see this scenario, but I'm not sure if I know how to read this stuff because I don't know the rules. I guess I have to just wait and see and stop trying to read into things. I have a real hard time letting go of control.

Ugh, this is frustrating and exciting at the same time. I just wish I knew what was going on, either way.

I'm off to read your older posts, singlemomof4.
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#112 of 112 Old 02-11-2008, 12:05 PM
 
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I guess I have to just wait and see and stop trying to read into things. I have a real hard time letting go of control.

Ugh, this is frustrating and exciting at the same time. I just wish I knew what was going on, either way.

I am right there with you in having REALLY hard time letting go of control. It's funny b/c day to day we each live with the small amount of control we do hold, and hold it close I might add, with our children. (well in my case I suppose it is the idea of control) LOL
I think for me it is much the same; just wishing I knew what was going on either way. I don't like being in the "unknown" I don't like no titles for what we are, and most of all I definitely do not like thinking so darn much about all the what if scenarios! What if during the week while he hasn't seen me he bumps into an old flame and hits it off again leaving me in the dust? What if he is talking to me on the phone and I say something wrong? What if the sky falls down ontop us me!? Seriously this what if thinking will destroy me!

Now just an update. He and I had a quite indepth conversation during the week last week about him having been in a relationship with children involved & how it hurt him when he had to let them go. Having been a man who never thought much about having a family of his own one day I can see how this got to him. We discussed his concerns about becoming involved becoming attached and me keeping my children from seeing him. Obviously a very serious, very much needed conversation but I wonder too soon?? Who knows! In any case the re-assurance was given that "if" this arose we would deal with it then. As it stands the involvment of my children is nil. We have chosen to do it this way.

We are getting to know eachother, as individuals, learning ups & downs, etc before involving my children. This makes sense right?

So we have decided on keeping our "dates" Friday evenings when my children are at a gfs (sort of a joint custody type arrangment; I take hers Sat nights over night. She takes mine Fri' overnights)

Now him and I do however talk nearly everyday online via FB or MSN. But he is very confusing. He says lets go slow. Then calls me saying he would think that seeing eacother before next week would be nice. Then back to Fridays only. Back and forth. I thought it was Women who are supposed to be wishy washy!!!
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