anyone know about custody,plz help! - Page 6 - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-11-2008, 12:22 AM
 
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great news! :

Obstruct livery vehicles!

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Old 01-11-2008, 12:25 AM
 
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~Kris mama to Alexis (15), Elizabeth (10), Andrew (7), and 1 angel
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Old 01-11-2008, 12:26 AM
 
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Whew! I'm so happy for you. Hug her one time more for all of us who were so worried.


Lisa

Our children make a study of us in a way no one else ever will.  If we don't act according to our values, they will know.~Starhawk Rainbow.gif  New  User Agreement! http://www.mothering.com/community/wiki/user-agreement

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Old 01-11-2008, 12:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks again you guys.. Getting ready to head to bed. First time I will be able to get some sleep in a long while. I will have my baby just feet away from me.

I 'm really glad I found this forum and I really appreciate all your thoughts and advice.

Good night you guys and thanks a bunch The support has been soo encouraging to me.
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Old 01-11-2008, 01:13 AM
 
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Old 01-11-2008, 01:19 AM
 
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I've been following your thread for a while and I am so happy for you and your LO that I just had to post. I am so relieved that the "good guys" won this one!!!!

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Old 01-11-2008, 01:21 AM
 
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Yay! I am so happy for you!!

Single mama to Alex(13), Maddy(12), Sam(8), Violet(6), and Ruby(3). fly-by-nursing1.gif
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Old 01-11-2008, 01:25 AM
 
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Your patience paid off you are 10x more patient than the rest of us to wait this one out, sorry for what he put you through oddly enough it will probably give you more control in the future!

I hope your court system is like ours where you get the same judge every time! Enjoy that babe!

8 might be enough
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Old 01-11-2008, 03:18 AM
 
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Yay!! I'm so happy for you!
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Old 01-11-2008, 03:41 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shiloh View Post
Your patience paid off you are 10x more patient than the rest of us to wait this one out, sorry for what he put you through oddly enough it will probably give you more control in the future!
:

YAY! I'm soooo happy. I've been worried all day. This just totally made my week.

You are full of patience, I have to agree. I do think things look really good for you and babe.

-Janna, independent mother of dd, Ms. Mattie Sky born on my 25th birthday, 06*23*2000. My Mama Feb.21,1938-Sept.10,2006
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Old 01-11-2008, 01:19 PM
 
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Congratulations! I, too, am very glad that this worked out so well for you. I am also pleased that you were able to avoid the pressure on this thread to escalate the situation, and were confident enough in yourself to follow the advice you felt was best.
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Old 01-11-2008, 11:29 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Sugar&Spice View Post
YES it's a court order and I got a certified copy signed by the JUDGE

Judge also warned that if he didn't follow he would be spending time in JAIL.
yay!!! im so happy and relieved for you!!

do you know what would his charge against him be for being jailed would be? contempt of court? kidnapping?
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Old 01-12-2008, 12:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Before there was a court order so he didn't break any laws.

I don't know what they would do if he didn't bring her back while a court order was in place. I don't think he would do that,though.
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Old 01-12-2008, 12:26 AM
 
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[QUOTE=homewithtwinsmama;10212216]
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Originally Posted by KJoslyn78 View Post
I said that it has been documented that 80% of fathers who contest custody will win,
is this for full custody?? (wow!) or shared?
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Old 01-12-2008, 12:52 AM
 
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~Kris mama to Alexis (15), Elizabeth (10), Andrew (7), and 1 angel
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Old 01-12-2008, 03:08 AM
 
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[QUOTE=KJoslyn78;10258655]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Four&Me View Post

i didnt say that... another poster did
whoops sorry i quoted wrong... !
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Old 01-12-2008, 03:15 AM
 
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ack nevermind its mdc quote thingy. sorry anyhow!
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Old 01-12-2008, 03:29 AM
 
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Old 01-12-2008, 12:59 PM
 
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Regarding the idea that when men battle for custody, then win.

Quote:
Originally Posted by homewithtwinsmama View Post

is this for full custody?? (wow!) or shared?
I'm not sure what to make of that statistic. I've read many times that when men do push for custody, they tend to win. This could be pure sexism, I suppose. But it doesn't make sense, since "regular" sexism says the children belong with the mother, so I doubt that's the issue. My guess is that very few men ever fight for custody, since most people, including parents, think the kids should be with their mother. So that would mean that the ones who DO fight for custody, more often than not, may have a legitimate reason to, as in, the mom may have major issues. Of course, sometimes they fight for it just because they both want the kids, or other times because the man wants to torture the woman, but I suspect those numbers are small.

So I guess I'm saying don't try and draw too many conclusions from that statistic in terms of how your own case may go. It may be based on unusual circumstances, so it may have no bearing at all in a more normal custody situation.

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Old 01-12-2008, 03:42 PM
 
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I think it has something to do with how many men just walk away and don't put much effort into parenting, when a guy says he wants to be involved, and puts out some effort, even if it is less than the mom in the situation, compared the the average dad, he looks good, but mothers are much more subject to scrutiny, it is really hard to look like a good mom
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Old 01-12-2008, 06:17 PM
 
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It also has to do with the gender bias within the system -- from the mediators to the lawyers and judges, the system is run predominately by men. Therefore, when men go to court, they benefit from the "good old boy's" club.

When I went to court for custody, the system was very biased against me and I was surrounded by men throughout the process. My ex was given a slight edge just by being a man. I could tell by the deference provided to him, but not me.

For example, my job relocation was questioned, even though it was within the boundaries previously set (the child had to live within 60 miles of the courthouse). The judge told me to move back and take part time work (as a substitute teacher). Never mind the the fact that Ex did not pay child support or provide health insurance and my new job as a full-time teacher gave me a good paycheck and insurance for DD. The judge would never had said that to a man.
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Old 01-12-2008, 07:58 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FireFrog View Post
It also has to do with the gender bias within the system -- from the mediators to the lawyers and judges, the system is run predominately by men. Therefore, when men go to court, they benefit from the "good old boy's" club.

When I went to court for custody, the system was very biased against me and I was surrounded by men throughout the process. My ex was given a slight edge just by being a man. I could tell by the deference provided to him, but not me.

For example, my job relocation was questioned, even though it was within the boundaries previously set (the child had to live within 60 miles of the courthouse). The judge told me to move back and take part time work (as a substitute teacher). Never mind the the fact that Ex did not pay child support or provide health insurance and my new job as a full-time teacher gave me a good paycheck and insurance for DD. The judge would never had said that to a man.
Wow, that's awful! Of course they wouldn't say that to a guy!

Yes, I can see your point (and the previous one as well). I bet there are several factors involved in that custody statistic.

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