Single, happy, and saying hello! - Mothering Forums

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Old 03-18-2002, 08:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey mamas! I already introduced myself in the "getting to know you" forum but wanted to do so here as well. I'm 41, single, and the lucky mother of two of the most beautiful souls ever to grace the planet. DD (Skylee) is 12, DS (Keith) is 7. The love that I share with these little people has blessed my life in so many ways. Part of that blessing has been developing the strength and wisdom to be who I really am and live how I really want to--simply because I owe it to them to model authenticity as a way of life. Unfortunately, being true to myself meant leaving a relationship with their father that was not working. He had been sober for many years but then was injured at his job and sunk down into that same addictive behavior with pain killers. I just cannot walk that path with someone anymore. Truly awful. He has pulled himself out of it (for now anyway) but the damage has been done and I'll never go back. Admittedly, it has been hard on the kids, but the worst seems to be over, we've accepted the gifts that hardship has to offer, and life continues to provide many opportunities for happiness, contentment, and love. I'm truly, truly happy now.

My children have been raised in the "Mothering" tradition. They were born at home, nursed until they were 5, family bed, homeschool, etc. Seems weird to declare all that. I've been parenting like this for so long, and have been blessed with a circle of like-minded moms so it all just seems quite normal! My kid's recently did decide that they wanted to give public school a whirl so we are kinda mainstream that way.

Anyway, there are some very awesome and incredible ladies hanging out around here! I look forward to getting to know you all. Right now, though, the snow is falling, school is cancelled, and the day has "go play" written all over it. I'm outta here! May peace settle in for a long snuggle in your lap today and always. Blessed be.
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Old 03-18-2002, 09:03 PM
 
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Welcome, Mamabear. It sounds like you are a really strong lady and I bet your kids are really proud of you. I am a formerly single and only newly married mama of one 8yo boy. It sounds like you will fit in well on all these boards.
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Old 03-21-2002, 06:04 PM
 
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Hi Mamabear, nice to "meet you"!

I wanted to thank you for that comment "I owe it to them to model authenticity as a way of life." What a great way of describing such a humongous facet of mothering!! I truly appreciated that phrase, mind if I borrow that in dealing with some of my more traditional family? (They always question my decisions that I believe strongly in)

Everything Counts!
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Old 03-22-2002, 12:34 AM
 
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Mamabear, your post fits your name so well! Welcome and a great and positive addition you are!

I'm mama to two ds's 8 and 14. I feel the same way about them as you describe- what an honor to share some of my life with these boys!

Always wanted a girl so satisfy myself with a female dog and cat....and the fabulous man I'm am so charmingly being courted by has two grown daughters- how fitting.

Looking forward to snow here this weekend...can't wait to hit the slopes!

BTW when I saw your age, 41, it made me smile. I'll be 34 in a few days and was thinking that I'd be the same old me, improved, when I'm 44, 56, 94- whatever. And I'll love my boys as much as ever. I have no fear of getting on in my years as each day I get to experience is a fabulous blessing- a tapestry I keep weaving to enshroud me in loving memories one day.

Happy Spring! I'm smiling from ear to ear, inside and out. Blessings and joy- we are all gifts and must honor them by...choosing to be happy! It IS a choice, I've found.

Hope everyone gets their's....
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Old 03-26-2002, 05:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for your lovely replies, mamas! Yes, Maurica feel free to defend your authenticity! How can we be fully human if we repress our heartfelt values just to be pleasing and accepted to others? Sink your roots down deep into the soil that will give you what YOU need to grow, bloom, and be as beautiful as you were meant to be. Stand your ground and your children will learn to do the same. What a wonderful gift you give to them by doing so.

Alianmama, yeah-age rocks! For me, it ties into the above mentioned authenticity thing. The older I get the more I become "me". I so admire the young women on these boards that are so wise at their young ages. I can only imagine where they will be in their 30's, 40's and beyond.

Boys are certainly wonderful aren't they? I was so happy to have a girl the first time because I felt very capable of raising a strong and healthy woman. When I birthed a boy the second time around, I felt like I was on rather unsteady ground. But, as you well know, he has swept me up in his little tornado of boy energy and deposited me in a place of joy and love that is beyond compare.

I enjoyed your post so much because the love you express for your children and the joy you find in life were expressed so well that I could physically feel them! I'm all warm and fuzzy right now. I also like that you commented that happiness is a choice. Indeed! Anyway, so very glad to know you! And hope you enjoyed the snow.

Peace to all.
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Old 03-26-2002, 05:50 PM
 
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Hi Mamabear -
Thanks for the welcome over on my thread. I just wanted to say it's nice to see some other over thirty single moms out there - I've been feeling like I'm the only one lately - 35.
Don't get me wrong, I love my age and all the personal growth and discovery it implies - just nice to see you guys -
Take care,
Mary
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Old 03-26-2002, 08:22 PM
 
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I was 32 when I got married for the very first time!
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Old 03-26-2002, 09:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I've never been married. Always thought it would be fun to have a wedding, but then I'd have to be married afterwards! Maybe someday I'll be inspired to go there.....
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Old 03-27-2002, 11:18 AM
 
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I'm not saying I am sorry for doing it but...

Wedding = stress
Marriage = stress
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