I have watched my DH and his ex fight over their daughter for 3 years, since ex left DH and took DD out of state. DH has done the best he could to pay child support (currently behind due to unemployment), but at this point despairs of when he'll see his daughter again. He's reluctant to send letters or packages, as he has no way of knowing if they're ever received by DD. She's 4 1/2 now, and ex took her and left when she was 1 1/2. I sympathize with ex's having to deal with single motherhood (I was friends with both before she split), but she won't raise a pinkie finger to help with relationship between DH and DD. DD was brought down to visit with grandparents in the same city where DH lives, and DH wasn't told about it until 20 min. before picnic where visitation was going on. He was told about it by his mother, who knew he had no transportation and pretty much told him to rub it in that he wasn't invited. The last time he saw his daughter was Xmas last year, when he crashed DD visiting at DH's father's house, and he's only seen her 2 or 3 times since ex left.
I am on more cordial terms with ex than DH is, but he asked me to stop talking to her because she was using me as a go between and he feels that his relationship with his daughter is an issue that's his alone to deal with. Only neither he nor ex is dealing with it very well, DH out of frustration and ex out of spitefulness. We are in a severely limited financial position, as is ex, so things like taking a trip up to see DD or flying her for a visit (in the unlikely event ex would cooperate) are unfeasable without ex's cooperation.
Should I establish communication with ex, for DD's sake, to help improve the chances for DH and DD to rebuild their relationship?
Any ideas how I can get ex to be more cooperative? She'll talk to me if I initiate it, she won't talk to DH except to email when she wants something or to complain.
I went overseas for two years alone instead of taking DH so that he wouldn't be taken away from his daughter (fat lot of good it did). I've done everything I can think of without getting directly involved in the situation, but being married to DH MAKES me involved, and I'm sick of just watching.
So what can I do?
breastfeeding, babywearing, homeschooling Heathen parent to my little Wanderer, 7 1/2 , and baby Elf-stone, 3/11!