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#31 of 47 Old 05-16-2002, 08:28 PM
 
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Well... The wonderful House in our government approved the tighter restrictions on welfare moms today. Requiring moms to work 40 hours per week.
As stated in the article I read...

"Under current law, a welfare recipient may take vocational education courses for a year and still be counted as ''working,'' Cardin said. That option is gone from the GOP bill."

"Along party lines, the House rejected 222-198 the Democratic package. That bill would have provided $11 billion more for child care, opened aid to legal immigrants and let states put welfare mothers in education and training programs."


What can we do??? I feel so helpless!!!!
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#32 of 47 Old 05-17-2002, 12:32 AM
 
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That's ridiculous that you HAVE to go to work when your youngest is 6mths. I'm feeling decidedly lucky living in Australia right now. Currently there is no legislation to FORCE single parents into paid work outside the home - although they are trying. The government should not be able to dictate that a certain group of people have to work rather than stay at home with their children.
They also talked about making our payments in the form of a card - so we don't actually get cash, the government have a record of where we spend our money and what on - how demoralising.
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#33 of 47 Old 05-17-2002, 06:53 AM
 
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Oh lilablue, I wish there was something that I could do to help you, I really feel for you. I know that it's really hard, but try not to stress too much, that'll only make you sick and definately won't help you or bubs. Can you appeal the decision? I hope you've got some great family and friends around to help you through this time and let us know how you're going. I'll be praying for lots of really good things to go your way.
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#34 of 47 Old 05-17-2002, 09:58 AM
 
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Lilablue, don't give up! you WILL be okay. I am not sure how things work where you are but I would try to appeal it. Although I am not quite sure I understand why they canceled on you anyway. It will work out. you mentioned you would do day care? Maybe you could nanny? I was able to take my daughter with me to someones house. It worked out great. Our kids were 6 months apart and feeding and naps worked out very well and the family and I are very close now. She even bought a used twin stroller so we could go for walks. I definatly agree you shouldn't put her in day care to work but if you have to, you have to there ARE good daycare faculities out there that aren't too expensive. Don't give up and don't get stressed, just think about your beautiful baby and how you are doing what is best for her/him and he/she will totally appreciate it all when it gets older. It will one day think what a great mama I've got!!!!
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#35 of 47 Old 05-17-2002, 10:09 AM
 
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lilablue,
I am so sorry that you feel this way. I know exactly how horrible it feels. You could be telling my story 4 months ago. Listen, you can do this. You can find a way. I promised I would not give up until I found something, I would not give into the daycare system. I was so blessed to find a nanny job where I could bring my son. Brainstorm until you are blue in the face, something will happen. That is such a heavy cloud hanging over you right now and it hurts so much, but know you will find a way. Minimize your material lives as much as you can. I have a completely different view on material items now, I even know how to bargain shop thrift stores, and garage sales are always good too. You can do this.
The latest on my nightmare with the system... We have to reapply every 3 months in Florida. I turned my paperwork in a week early. When I never heard anything back I called to find out that I had an appointment that I was never told about and missed. They proceeded to tell me that they would send me another appt. Again I called and again they said I missed an appointment that I was never informed of. I told them that I was unable to get a hold of my case worker, the reply was "Oh, she is gone, you have a new caseworker. There is a pretty high turnover here, this isn't the best job in the world.". This is what I get from the people who hold my food in their hands. Now I have an appointment for the 23rd of this month. What good does it do to give me food money for this month at the end of the month? They don't care, they don't try and they certainly don't see you as a human being, much less a mother trying to feed her baby. I am going to raise hell when I go in there. What good will it do? Nothing, that case worker will leave just like the rest of them, I have had a different worker every one of the 4 months I have been a part of this system.
Powerless, to say the very least.
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#36 of 47 Old 05-17-2002, 11:18 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by Tori
if you have to, you have to there ARE good daycare faculities out there that aren't too expensive.
I agree, there are daycares out there that are good that won't cost you an arm and a leg. It takes some work to find and you have to spend a lot of time, interviewing and researching everybody but they are out there. I had a fantastic daycare provider up until two weeks ago. My ds was the only one under 2 and she only had to other kids. A 2.5 year old, part time and a 5 year old. He had all the attention the could ever want or need, he was never left to lay and cry, even for a minute (in fact one day when I got there to pick him up, he was laying on the floor and started to ah, ah, ah and she leaped off the couch to run and pick him up) I'm looking for a new provider now because she passed away suddenly. I have spend every night for the past two weeks interviewing people to find out who would work for my ds. Finally I met a lady that will be great. All older kids (mostly after school) a real grandmother type, loves to hold babies. And she only charge $100/week for full time and $55/week for part time.

So, if you are willing to do some work and put a little effort into it, it is possible to find daycare that won't have her "psychology getting maimed for life" Good luck in your search
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#37 of 47 Old 05-17-2002, 02:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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In my state, every time I have gotten Medicaid or food stamps, they won't even tell me the name of the caseworker. They mail you this letter-number code and when you call the 800# (which is constantly busy, it takes several WEEKS before you are able to get thru, and you get cut off a lot when you do connect) and you have to ask for that code, and then you are taken to a voicemail to talk to. Of course, no one calls you back, and you are given a new caseworker every month.

Also, their phone system is set up so you can't *66 when it's busy - you just have to sit there and redial. And if you call the AFS office in your city they just say "We can't help you, you have to call the 800# when it's not busy and leave a message for your caseworker."
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#38 of 47 Old 05-17-2002, 11:20 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by lilablue
I'm sorry we don't have better standards in this country for legitiamte mothers who need help
when their kids are so small and there's no other support around.
Amen to that! Someday it WILL change. Never give up.
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#39 of 47 Old 05-18-2002, 08:58 AM
 
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I have been inspired.
I woke up with my little one beside me at 6:30 this morning with a million ideas running through my head.
It happens that the woman that I nanny for is one of the head people of the Bill Bradley campaign for the Governor of Florida. He is running against Janet Reno in the primaries. Anyway, I spent an hour with her yesterday on a rage about our system. I wanted to know what her candidate planned to do about welfare reform. After talking to her and anyone else who would listen to me yesterday I began to get ideas. I am very serious about doing something to change the system. Grassroots efforts DO make changes. I want to know how someone gets the chance to speak before congress. I once sat in front of the Florida legislature lobbying for a masters program in Women's Studies at my university, we got it. I am also contemplating a photojournalistic style compilation of the REAL faces of welfare. The woman that I work for was telling me about the governments campaign to make welfare moms look like drug addicted abusive mothers in order for the general public to support their reform ideas. I want to change this misconception. The actual average length of time a woman is on public assistance is 4 months, not years like they would like everyone to believe.
I am not afraid to fight the system and I refuse to sit here helpless any longer.
Do you all have any ideas?
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#40 of 47 Old 05-18-2002, 11:24 AM
 
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Skyemama,
"Wow". Thats all I can say. Sorry I don't have any ideas right now.
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#41 of 47 Old 05-19-2002, 09:14 PM
 
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Hi everyone,

I'm a single mom with a four month old baby and a ten year old boy and an eight year old girl. I have a dream of creating a self-sustaining community that would serve the needs of single mothers while allowing them to attachment parent. I see this as a viable alternative to the whole welfare mom thing, which as most of us know doesn't come close to meeting the needs of moms and babies. I will post more about my idea, but in the mean time, anyone interested is welcome to email me.

Lupa
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#42 of 47 Old 05-25-2002, 02:40 AM
 
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I am 21 with a 20 mth old dd, living with my wonderful parents. I just told my Mom that if I did not have the excellent family support I have, I would be living on food stamps and welfare and would also attend school (paid for by the govt.) to be a teacher (which is what I am doing now, just my parents pay for it). I think any woman who is using the govt. to help them and their child to becoem a better person, you should be proud!!!! You are raising a child- the best job in the world. I can see how you could feel ashamed, but forget what others think of you- you can go places and taking very good care fo your child is very important our society will benefit in the long run!!!
I got prego at 18 by a Loser boyfriend who was 31 at the time- I made bad bad decsions, despite the fact that I come from a very good home, my mom was an LLL leader!
The only real life experience I have had with welfare moms is those that lived off the govt. b/c they were too lazy to work. I lived in a neighborhood where at least 40% of the people received govt assitance- the local grocery store was a mad house on the first of the month. And everyone I saw was people who just did not care about working and milked the govt. The couple living across from us did not work, and the woman had 5 kids that her mother took care of, and yet she was getting the check for them every month. This is extremely ommon in my area. Frankly I have never met anyone who truly needed govt assistant who was on it- everyone I know has been totally capable of getting a job and taking very poor care of their kids.
However, I know there are people out there who really need it and I wish the moochers would stop giving Welfare a bad name! It's such a shame that these people make Welfare look like a handout instead of a leg-up. I think all those mama's who are living on welfare and still giving their kids the best in parenting should be congraulated b/c it takes a very special and strong person to do that.
Sara
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#43 of 47 Old 05-25-2002, 10:29 AM
 
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Skyemama! You are inspiring! Keep up the good work... The secret to not feeling so helpless is to do what you're doing... talk until you're blue in the face, do your advocacy projects, start chipping away at all of the lies and prejudice until the truth is revealed.

Lila Blue, I found out yesterday that people in my municipality CANNOT change their caseworker. I'm sorry I don't have more knowledge about the systems in the U.S. It's hard enough keeping track of the policy directives of different cities in Ontario. All of Ontario is painted with the same brush, that means someone living in a rural area on a farm has the same "budgetary requirements" as someone living in Toronto in the eyes of Ontario Works (formerly General Welfare). Which of course is ludicrous.

Nanner, of course it's true that there are going to be people who are unwilling to work. After people have been living on welfare for a while it becomes very challenging for them to go out and find work, for various reasons. That's why we need more resources for people in that position. Job banks, clothing banks, counselling, resume help libraries, etc. I won't even get into the pitiful daycare issue. However, I do not believe welfare is a system that is truly meant to help people... it is a system that tries everything to deter people from using it. The same can be said for both the U.S. and Canada. The paradox is that there are not adequate resources to help people get back to self sufficiency. Not everyone can muster the strength to go "out into the world" and start working at a job (which there are not enough of) so they can start getting taxed to death again.

Let's put the blame where it belongs, on the FACT that there are weathly corporations and individuals that use TAX SHELTERS and other devious and unfair ways to get out of their social resposibilities. In Canada, unpaid taxes by corporations and SOARING interest rates account for about 95% of the federal debt. Social programs account for about 5%.
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#44 of 47 Old 05-29-2002, 01:17 AM
 
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I actually was not blaming anyone! I think the system needs a lot of work too! I was trying (though not very well!) to say that the system needs to do more to support those who need it and really give them a leg up, and try to weed out the moochers. I have a friend who is a moocher, I hate to say it, but it's true. She lives with her parents and does not need the money, yet she receives govt assitance such as WIC, food stamps, her school is paid for, and she was getting a welfare check. Her parents make over $100,000 a year and they are hardly lacking. But 2 girls at school told her how she could get hooked up too. I see way too much of that around here. People actually plan to go on welfare, rather than using it as a leg up. And then there are people who really need it who could use a lot more help than it is providing.
Sara
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#45 of 47 Old 05-29-2002, 05:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't believe a mother is "lazy" simply because she doesn't have a PAYING job. Being a mother is the hardest job ever - being a single mother, harder still. I believe that a woman should have the right to stay home with her children and get paid a decent wage for it. Sure, it takes up the taxpayers' money, but so do teachers, police officers, and members of congress, and no one complains about that!

I would much rather my tax dollars go to someone on welfare than to a drug-using congressman.
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#46 of 47 Old 06-01-2002, 11:04 PM
 
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(((Nanner!!!)))
I'm sorry if it seemed like I was jumping on you! I wasn't trying to attack you! I just have to deal with clients who are being hassled relentlessly by their caseworker when they aren't doing anything wrong. Such as people being investigated for welfare fraud, for no reason. They are in a vulnerable position, and I feel like they're being taken advantage of. Your 'moocher' friend, under the system where I live, would not be getting one red cent! Not even a student loan! It's because the rules are so stringent here that there are alot of people "falling through the cracks."
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#47 of 47 Old 06-08-2002, 02:06 AM
 
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I wasn't offended, Forest Sage! I Just hadn't read all of the responses and I honestly do not have a thourough undertsanding of the Welfare system. I wish it did more for those who need it!!!!
Maybe my area just sux at keeping the moochers off of it. Actually, I can guarantee it sucks at that b/c of the reports my friend gave! The workers are way overburdened and nobody has checked to make sure she really does need it.
Sara
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