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#1 of 22 Old 02-18-2008, 04:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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then how do you meet men?
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#2 of 22 Old 02-18-2008, 04:59 PM
 
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Grocery stores.
Welding classes
church...i am an athiest... so maybe not
find a hobby that is generally men specific.
Auto crossing'
wood working

But mostly... start making yourself the type of person that the mate you want would want. Then it all falls into place.
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#3 of 22 Old 02-18-2008, 05:34 PM
 
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I go to coffeeshops to work, and then desperately lonely professional types in their 40s and 50s interrupt me, and say things like, "I shouldn't be so forward, but -- " and then proceed to be forward. I am polite, and then I ignore them and get on with my life.



The younger ones proposition me outright, which is shocking, but occasionally entertaining. And no, of course I don't sleep with them.
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#4 of 22 Old 02-18-2008, 07:47 PM
 
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Hmmmm! I'm looking for a man in his mid fourties to early fifties. Perhaps I should go to the coffee shop to work! LOL!
Thanks for the tip. LOL! But I'm looking for great men, not lonely pathetic men!

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#5 of 22 Old 02-18-2008, 10:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boobybunny View Post
Grocery stores.

But mostly... start making yourself the type of person that the mate you want would want. Then it all falls into place.
I always hear that it all falls into place...but I also think that a bit of effort could be well worth my time. After all, if I'm the person that the mate I want would want, I will be spending lots of time relaxing at my house...where he can't find me...unless he's a Jehovah's Witness or a door-to-door salesman

I love this post because it's what I'm always asking myself. I always hear of all these people meeting men in the grocery store...or somewhere of the like,. Since all of my attention is focused on my son, I feel like I have a big 'No Vacancy" sign over my head whenever I'm our in public! Keep those inspirational meeting stories coming!!!
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#6 of 22 Old 02-18-2008, 11:09 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Jyotsna View Post
Hmmmm! I'm looking for a man in his mid fourties to early fifties. Perhaps I should go to the coffee shop to work! LOL!
Thanks for the tip. LOL! But I'm looking for great men, not lonely pathetic men!
Sweetie, I have bad news....
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#7 of 22 Old 02-18-2008, 11:32 PM
 
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I met my wonderful dp at work. He worked there to.

He is in management at a grocery store and I was a cashier. I went to work at a different company when we started dating seriously.

Vanessa belly.gif, wife to Kev , mama to Byron (5) wild.gif and Billie (2) and  due in June
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#8 of 22 Old 02-18-2008, 11:35 PM
 
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I have been in contact with a great old friend.... he is just now 40, he has a master's degree in Engineering, and can not find a "decent" woman to spend any time with.

What he wants....
physical is not too important... but must be able to live life... go for bike rides, hike, travel, ect.
want to travel?!
not judgemental
fun, relaxed,
possible future children?
ambition... or goals attainable, if not reached.

Who he is
Eurasian man living in Tx. (kinda looks like elvis...cute young elvis)
marathon runner
mixed martial arts (performer?)
Atheist ... not much luck finding same in Tx.
loves to travel.
has a daughter (really cute...shared custody)
He is a cutie
owns own home
is a liberal progressive with green thumb that works for Haliburton...I know.. I laughed too.

So why can't he find a decent woman????


Seriously.. If I were not married and actually in love with my husband.. I would be all over him.
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#9 of 22 Old 02-19-2008, 01:20 AM
 
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Because the single women his age/thereabouts are either longterm single/childless and happy that way, or single mothers who don't have time/freedom for his carefree shared-custody life. Or him, when it comes right down to it. I mean suppose he meets some MS mech engineer with a child or two, single -- she's got time to raise her kids, work while pretending to her boss/colleagues that she has no children, and pay attention to him, too? More likely she has her life set up in some stable way, and she's focused on raising her kids, getting them through, keeping her job.

I hear so many nice, professional, decent-salary men that age wandering around essentially asking women, "Will you have my child? Will you?" And in the end, I think most of them will have to go with very young wives, or forget about it. Because the women closer to their age are done. I can tell you that I wouldn't even think about it without a giant trust set up in my name & excluded from divorce negotiations, and even then, frankly, I'm not too excited about the idea. These guys really want old-fashioned wives, and most of them don't really plan to be egalitarian when it comes to whose career takes hits for kids.

If he wants more kids, he should ask out youngish secretaries and BA-level admin assistants. I'm not kidding. But looking for ambitious women, no, that's probably what's doing him in. Even a young, childless ambitious woman -- why does she want to be saddled with his kid, or deal with his various custody tethers? Or the ex-wife?

There, that's gotta be 50 cents' worth.
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#10 of 22 Old 02-19-2008, 01:45 AM
 
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He does not actively want more children.. just open to it.

But you are right... the whole package thing is just absurd... you are right.... it is back to the bow heads for him. (old joke.... bow heads were not so bright, attractive young co-eds who hooked onto the EE,ME and PE students at highly respected engineering schools who typically had bows in their hair like poodles. )

When I was a single mom... I wanted a man that was financially secure, stable, intelligent and fun... I really had no interest in a blended family, my list was such that I thought no one would match it.. let alone met it. I had done that once. I found the second husband gold mine. Single, never married, no children, owned his own home, toys out of his system. (with some other non mentionable attributes that make him a find ) In fact, I never would have remarried, but he was right.
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#11 of 22 Old 02-19-2008, 02:56 AM
 
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I am done having children. otherwise I'd tell ya to have him contact me if he ever comes to WA.

Oprah had a show about making a list. Mamas does it sound presumptuous to say I want a man who thrives in a chaotic situation but doesn't add to the chaos. Who can smile and laugh and enjoy life, even if things aren't exactly how he likes them to be.
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#12 of 22 Old 02-19-2008, 03:37 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boobybunny View Post
I have been in contact with a great old friend.... he is just now 40, he has a master's degree in Engineering, and can not find a "decent" woman to spend any time with.

What he wants....
physical is not too important... but must be able to live life... go for bike rides, hike, travel, ect.
want to travel?!
not judgemental
fun, relaxed,
possible future children?
ambition... or goals attainable, if not reached.

Who he is
Eurasian man living in Tx. (kinda looks like elvis...cute young elvis)
marathon runner
mixed martial arts (performer?)
Atheist ... not much luck finding same in Tx.
loves to travel.
has a daughter (really cute...shared custody)
He is a cutie
owns own home
is a liberal progressive with green thumb that works for Haliburton...I know.. I laughed too.

So why can't he find a decent woman????


Seriously.. If I were not married and actually in love with my husband.. I would be all over him.
He sounds great! Unfortunately, I'm in PA.
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#13 of 22 Old 02-20-2008, 02:51 AM
 
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Originally Posted by pranamama View Post
I am done having children. otherwise I'd tell ya to have him contact me if he ever comes to WA.

Oprah had a show about making a list. Mamas does it sound presumptuous to say I want a man who thrives in a chaotic situation but doesn't add to the chaos. Who can smile and laugh and enjoy life, even if things aren't exactly how he likes them to be.

No.. that is exactly why I fell in love with my husband. :
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#14 of 22 Old 02-20-2008, 03:07 AM
 
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No.. that is exactly why I fell in love with my husband.
Yep, that was pretty much my list & while it's not *why* I fell in love with DP, I'm pretty sure it's the main reason he hasn't run screaming from the house yet
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#15 of 22 Old 02-20-2008, 04:41 AM
 
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That's the same reason I love my man. And believe me, with five kids between us, chaos abounds.
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#16 of 22 Old 02-20-2008, 11:41 AM
 
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When you are in the right place, emotionally, etc. the men will find you. Seriously.

I had a neighbor ask me out while I shovelled my snow (and if you saw what I look like shovelling snow...you'd know that's impressive). I had my furnace repair guy try to set me up with his son. I bumped into another person I knew at the playground with his kids, tell me that he had been separated for a year.

When you are ready and open, they will find you. Great men are everywhere.
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#17 of 22 Old 02-20-2008, 12:01 PM
 
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I met my DH on a ski trip.

I think the coffeehouse idea is good...or how about a big bookstore like B&N, or Borders? I've been hit on in those and they were seemingly nice enough guys...although....they were in the "self-help" section....LOL
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#18 of 22 Old 02-20-2008, 01:39 PM
 
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Oh, I also heard that a golf course during the week is a good place to meet a man. If he can afford to golf and can play during business hours, he likely has a decent job!!!
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#19 of 22 Old 02-20-2008, 02:47 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MsChatsAlot View Post
When you are in the right place, emotionally, etc. the men will find you. Seriously.

I had a neighbor ask me out while I shovelled my snow (and if you saw what I look like shovelling snow...you'd know that's impressive). I had my furnace repair guy try to set me up with his son. I bumped into another person I knew at the playground with his kids, tell me that he had been separated for a year.

When you are ready and open, they will find you. Great men are everywhere.
it's true

                                Whatever will be, already is...
 
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#20 of 22 Old 02-21-2008, 12:40 AM
 
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I know what you mean about the "no vacancy" sign. Whenever I go out I usually wear my daughter. I think most men who see that think "unavailable" right away. I just don't know how people do it. Before I met my ex, I never had any dates. I was always the "friend" that never got the guy. I don't think I'm terribly unattractive, and I'd like to think I'm a nice person... some days (heck, who am I kidding? most days) I pretty much despair of ever meeting a marriage-worthy guy who will give me the time of day.
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#21 of 22 Old 02-21-2008, 12:46 AM
 
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That's really funny! Thanks for helping me laugh!

<<After all, if I'm the person that the mate I want would want, I will be spending lots of time relaxing at my house...where he can't find me...unless he's a Jehovah's Witness or a door-to-door salesman>>

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#22 of 22 Old 02-21-2008, 01:17 AM
 
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Bunny,

I'd be interested in Elvis. Does he REALLY look like Elvis or does he share some features. Actually though, the Asian American is someone I would have more in common with, although he would have to appreciate my need to go to temple, but I would understand his need to not believe at all. What do you think? : ) She sounds like a dream. Would he like a slightly older woman??

Well I am definately looking, and having brought home a man at this point, but I have had quite a few emails and conversations via cell phone with some nice men. There is one, that if the whole thing works out, that I would love to settle with. But i have to keep my options open.

How do I get in touch with Elvis??? ; )

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