March dating thread!!! - Mothering Forums

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Old 03-01-2008, 09:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi all

Here we are, its March and so much has happened this year so far. I cannot wait to hear of the new things that are in store.

I am feeling optimistic, but I hesitate to share right now, mostly because I am a bit superstitious that by letting all of the energy out of the situation will 'jinx' it


I will just say that it is a new guy, and there are many 'coincidences' present. I have no desire to talk to anyone else. I will update as things progress, just not yet

I long to hear your new updates.

                                Whatever will be, already is...
 
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Old 03-01-2008, 12:17 PM
 
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I just wanted to ....you've got the March thread up and I'm barely out of bed on the 1st!!! (lol)

Have fun with your coincidental new man!
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Old 03-01-2008, 06:52 PM
 
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After 5 years of being single and celibate, I'm finally ready to start dating again! I know I haven't been here for a long time, but I'm hoping I'll have more time to be online and make visit with you lovely ladies!

So, I decided to try some online dating to get some practice in, and perhaps even meet a nice man. I'm going out to brunch with a guy I haven't met yet on Wed. He seems like a nice guy, and we've spoken on the phone a couple of times.

Since finding a babysitter just to go out on a date is big pain, I had been hoping I'd find someone with flexible work hours... and sure enough he has Wed. off! yay! So I can meet him while my daughter is in school.

I'll update next week, wish me luck!
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Old 03-01-2008, 07:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just wanted to ....you've got the March thread up and I'm barely out of bed on the 1st!!! (lol)

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Old 03-01-2008, 08:53 PM
 
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I am new here (I may have intro'ed myself a couple of years ago, then not posted much), and haven't posted my long convoluted story and intro, yet. But I have started dating an old friend after not dating or even considering dating for almost 4 years.

It's interesting and hard, trying to relearn how all this works.
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Old 03-02-2008, 10:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am new here (I may have intro'ed myself a couple of years ago, then not posted much), and haven't posted my long convoluted story and intro, yet. But I have started dating an old friend after not dating or even considering dating for almost 4 years.

It's interesting and hard, trying to relearn how all this works.

Welcome Leslie

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Old 03-02-2008, 10:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Old 03-02-2008, 10:14 PM
 
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i've been missing around these parts but not for lack of dating. d and i have been dating for 4.5 months now. i put closet organizers in my closet a few weeks ago and half of it is taken up by his clothes. my pillows always smell like him, his dirty laundry is mixed with ours, he buys groceries for our household. right now i have the best of single-momdom and the best of couplehood. a couple nights a week it's just me and the kids for snuggles and playing. the rest of the week we are a family of four (or five on weekends when he has his son). i'm getting to be a single mom, a bonus mom, a girlfriend, a partner and a part of a family. i'm trying to keep in focus the things i require out of a person/relationship right now. d is good to me and my children and we like each other's company. for now, that's enough.
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Old 03-02-2008, 10:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i've been missing around these parts but not for lack of dating. d and i have been dating for 4.5 months now. i put closet organizers in my closet a few weeks ago and half of it is taken up by his clothes. my pillows always smell like him, his dirty laundry is mixed with ours, he buys groceries for our household. right now i have the best of single-momdom and the best of couplehood. a couple nights a week it's just me and the kids for snuggles and playing. the rest of the week we are a family of four (or five on weekends when he has his son). i'm getting to be a single mom, a bonus mom, a girlfriend, a partner and a part of a family. i'm trying to keep in focus the things i require out of a person/relationship right now. d is good to me and my children and we like each other's company. for now, that's enough.
that's great Celeste, just keep that positive attitude and things will continue to go your way. I think appreciating it all is the key. There are benefits in single mom-hood, if I were part of a partnership I am sure part of me would miss that alone time that I so cherish (which is why I am going to need a partner who gives me space as well as closeness)

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Old 03-03-2008, 05:19 AM
 
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My drummer made a pass at me. I think. It was the "California hug" (departure version), with an extra caress to the nape of my neck. It's not that I mind, per se. I like him. But, I just finally walked away from this other guy who was driving me absolutely nutso.
Plus, we have a show next week (the first in almost a year).
My friend says that she's not surprised that the drummer made a pass. I was, at least, in the moment. I was like, "uh, see you next week". Ack.
My neighbor also made a pass at me on Friday night. She's too young.
Ack.
Suddenly, I guess I have the "available" sign on.
I'm not really over the nutso guy. I'm never ready to date, I think.
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Old 03-03-2008, 02:02 PM
 
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I ended things with the guy I've been seeing for the past month and a half - last night. He's younger and nowhere near ready for kids and has no understanding or interest in the "Mom" part of my life. At least, I think that's how he feels. When I mentioned it, he didn't disagree. The thing is, he didn't work with my life, rather I had to try to work him in around it. It was getting to be too much. We'd go all week without seeing each other, because dd only goes to her father's on Saturdays. I would ask him to meet us at the park or come by the house sometime and he seemed intimidated. Granted, I am not looking to get some guy all involved in dd's life, but when I am with her all week long, it would be nice if the guy I was seeing could come for a picnic at the park sometime. Am I wrong? I'm feeling really down about it right now. He is an amazing person, really. I feel like we are victims to circumstance.

I think I need to meet a guy who has kids himself. There's a certain level of understanding there that I need.

"If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile and blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
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Old 03-03-2008, 04:06 PM
 
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I think I need to meet a guy who has kids himself. There's a certain level of understanding there that I need.
IMHO, it's less about whether the guy has kids, and more about whether the guy is into you and accepts that you do have kids. Even guys who have kids, unless they have custody, may still have trouble understanding how much kids impact your life. But a guy who puts you first will work with you, regardless.
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Old 03-03-2008, 04:31 PM
 
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IMHO, it's less about whether the guy has kids, and more about whether the guy is into you and accepts that you do have kids. Even guys who have kids, unless they have custody, may still have trouble understanding how much kids impact your life. But a guy who puts you first will work with you, regardless.
:

I have never dated a man with a child(ren) and I have never wanted to either.

The 4-5 childless men I have dated since my divorce, including the guy I am currently dating, have been absolutely wonderful in accepting ds and my role as a mother. They have all been very accomodating and understanding about my single mama life.

It just depends on the individual.
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Old 03-03-2008, 05:00 PM
 
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Hmmm, I love dating a man with a child. So much more understanding there and so much more in common. But I dated a guy without a kid for four months and he loved my ds and was so good to both of us, so I don't think it really matters.

Still dating S. It has been over 6 months now. Everything is great. Finally found someone that is open, honest, loving, caring, sweet, good to me and ds, and actually loves me for who I am, whatever that happens to be in the moment.

Exdh made a pass at me after we finished our divorce papers. I told him "You know I would never cheat on S" and he said "It's not cheating if he doesn't know about it." Yes, this coming from the man who cheated on me more than once. Asshole.

So, overall, just really happy with things. I have been trying to post in the Blended Family forums now, since that is more of what we are now, but I didn't feel totally welcome there since it hasonly been 6 months. So now I am somewhere in limbo between dating and being a blended family. Honestly, the dating is over. This is the guy I am going to marry, I love his son, he loves mine. Either way, though, things are so good
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Old 03-03-2008, 05:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am about to burst I want to tell you guys SO BAD!!! I will spill it after friday

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Old 03-03-2008, 05:35 PM
 
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IMHO, it's less about whether the guy has kids, and more about whether the guy is into you and accepts that you do have kids. Even guys who have kids, unless they have custody, may still have trouble understanding how much kids impact your life. But a guy who puts you first will work with you, regardless.
Absolutely! I'm dating a man w/o kids right now, but he seems almost to have more appreciation and respect for all the work I do as a single mom than ds's dad does. He understands that ds comes first and he works with that. I thought maybe I'd need to meet a man with kids, too, but it absolutely does turn out to have more to do with the person, and how into/supportive of you, he is.
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Old 03-04-2008, 03:57 AM
 
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Nothing too exciting at this point in March. The man I am building a relationship with is in London right now, so I haven't spoken to him in 4 days. He comes back to the US tomarrow. I did write a poem about the whole internet dating thing. Anyone want to hear it? It's a farse on internet dating. Just for fun.

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Old 03-04-2008, 04:27 AM
 
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James and I are still together. He's in Florida for 18days for the military. I'm trying not to complain, since he didn't end up having to go to Afghanistan, but I do miss him.

Easter dinner will probably be with James at his grandparents house, sans his kids or mine. exDp will have my ds, and James' exwife will have his boys.

Call for advice:

His friend is doing an unpaid internship in NYC and has nowhere to stay, so is going to crash at James' place for 8 weeks. Problem is that she's...well, a she. They have no romantic or sexual history, he swears. And I've seen emails and myspace messages back and forth, and they're all very benign. But I'm still afraid that them spending so much time together is gonna do something.

Another issue I have is that James' apartment is a small one bedroom. She's going to be sleeping on the couch. I've been staying with family while I look for a new apartment (my other lease ended, I haven't found a new place yet), and it's driving me freaking NUTS! James' place was my escape...I sleep there 2-3 days a week, shower there, walk around in a towel, that kind of thing. Now she's going to be there EVERY night. And she doesn't have a car, so when she's not interning, she'll be there. We can't even sit on the couch and watch tv anymore, since it'll be her bed.

I know I sound like a brat, but it just kind of stinks. He doesn't even know her super-well. He just wants to help her out (she has no where else to go--she's from SC, and needs this internship to break into her career), and I think she's going to pitch in for rent a little, which would help him out too.

JYOTSNA-I'd love to hear your poem!

Kelly, mama (12yoDS), doula, RN, and writer.
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Old 03-04-2008, 09:39 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Nothing too exciting at this point in March. The man I am building a relationship with is in London right now, so I haven't spoken to him in 4 days. He comes back to the US tomarrow. I did write a poem about the whole internet dating thing. Anyone want to hear it? It's a farse on internet dating. Just for fun.
Let's have it

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Old 03-04-2008, 08:35 PM
 
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Okay mamas, you asked. This is a total farse on the internet dating scene, but for those who have taken part, I thought you might enjoy this.


Email Lover
-------------
Love your profile, it's so great,
email me for an online date.
What's the weather in your town,
was that a sideways smile,
or was it a frown?

Let's stay in touch, and see how we click.
If things look bad, I've got a business trip.

I love travel, knitting and hobbies,
are you involved in politics, did you hear
about that lobby?

Internet dating, it's fun
and it's new.
If you get this email,
I'd like to meet you!

When I'm with you, we'll go out in a carriage,
if you like me alot, I'll ask your hand in marriage.

Internet dating it's fun and it's new.
Don't tell me lies, and I'll be true to you.

Jyotsna
(I had to write something after 10 men have
contacted me and 1/2 already had our marriage
planned out!!! Good greif!)

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Old 03-04-2008, 10:21 PM
 
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I am about to burst I want to tell you guys SO BAD!!! I will spill it after friday
Have you seem "Over the Hedge"? You know the squirrel, Hammy I think his name is? When they come out of hibernation and Hammy discovers the Hedge he is about to burst because he wants to tell everyone but Vern keeps making him wait to tell....I picture BelovedK jumping around like Hammy.

Please tell us!!!
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Old 03-04-2008, 11:44 PM
 
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How cute! I assume it is all about a date on Friday?

So i am kind of venturing in here to get a little advice. I haven't dated anyone yet but i am a year out of my marriage now and i feel ready for something. Not attached to anything in particular though. So i have 5 little kids. I am not sure how that happened but i do. the youngest is 1. There is a man that i mentioned before that i really like. We have a great connection of some sort and we always make eye contact and smile and others time we chit chat. He asked me on a playdate(he has a 2 year old) a few months back but we didn't coordinate it. Then he went out of town for a month and for the last month we have been doing small time flirting. I see him daily cuz he works at my kids school. So a few weeks ago i brought up the play date again and he said he defintely wanted to do it but he needed to wait until march because he coaches basketball and it would be over then. So, this is March. My close friend came to town over the weekend and she knows him really well. She talked with him yesterday and asked him what he thought about me(not my doing!). He told her he was very attracted to me and we had an instant connection. But he was intimidated by the amount of kids i had. My friend told him he should hang out with me and just get to me know me and he said he agreed. So my friend left town this morning and i ran into him today. It was small chit chat and then he had to run for basketball practice( he has another week left). He touched my arm and squeezed it on the way out.

So what do you think? Should i get to know him or not deal with a man who is intimidated by the number of children i have? He is a good quality, amazing man. I'm intimidated by the number of children i have. I guess i am unsure if i should wait for a guy who doesn't care about my kids or if i should pursue things with someone i really like and give him a chance to get to know my kids and see where things go.
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Old 03-05-2008, 01:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Have you seem "Over the Hedge"? You know the squirrel, Hammy I think his name is? When they come out of hibernation and Hammy discovers the Hedge he is about to burst because he wants to tell everyone but Vern keeps making him wait to tell....I picture BelovedK jumping around like Hammy.

Please tell us!!!
: :

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Old 03-05-2008, 02:00 AM
 
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: :


But seriously, spill it.
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Old 03-05-2008, 02:03 AM
 
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Avani - yes, give it a chance if you really like him! Worse case you just remain friends. He sounds totally interested in you and if he gets to spend time with you and your kids he will see how wonderful you all are!

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How cute! I assume it is all about a date on Friday?

So i am kind of venturing in here to get a little advice. I haven't dated anyone yet but i am a year out of my marriage now and i feel ready for something. Not attached to anything in particular though. So i have 5 little kids. I am not sure how that happened but i do. the youngest is 1. There is a man that i mentioned before that i really like. We have a great connection of some sort and we always make eye contact and smile and others time we chit chat. He asked me on a playdate(he has a 2 year old) a few months back but we didn't coordinate it. Then he went out of town for a month and for the last month we have been doing small time flirting. I see him daily cuz he works at my kids school. So a few weeks ago i brought up the play date again and he said he defintely wanted to do it but he needed to wait until march because he coaches basketball and it would be over then. So, this is March. My close friend came to town over the weekend and she knows him really well. She talked with him yesterday and asked him what he thought about me(not my doing!). He told her he was very attracted to me and we had an instant connection. But he was intimidated by the amount of kids i had. My friend told him he should hang out with me and just get to me know me and he said he agreed. So my friend left town this morning and i ran into him today. It was small chit chat and then he had to run for basketball practice( he has another week left). He touched my arm and squeezed it on the way out.

So what do you think? Should i get to know him or not deal with a man who is intimidated by the number of children i have? He is a good quality, amazing man. I'm intimidated by the number of children i have. I guess i am unsure if i should wait for a guy who doesn't care about my kids or if i should pursue things with someone i really like and give him a chance to get to know my kids and see where things go.
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Old 03-05-2008, 04:42 AM
 
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I agree Avani,

Check it out. If you have chemistry, then the rest may fall into place. i'm in the same situation, but with half the kids. The man that i am interested in (and interested in me) has children, and between the two of us, we would have alot of mouths to feed. it is a big issue, but wow, our chemistry is there, and we agree on the big and small things. he is right up my alley as far as parenting, and he would make a great partner for the rest of my life.
i'm hoping we get it all worked out, cuz my heart is starting to get all funny feeling about him.

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Old 03-05-2008, 09:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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But seriously, spill it.
well, let's say that when you have chemistry with someone, you can look back and realize that you haven't had it in a long time, even though there have been other men. With the last two guys I saw, I was just going through the motions (not dtd, but just dating~there was no excitement or anticipation) With this NEW guy I have met, there is a different feeling. I am actually excited and looking forward to meeting him.

The reason I was waiting to talk (but I have too big a mouth) was that I met him online and we have yet to meet face to face, that is the final determinant.

When we talked, we discvered that there were alot of coincindental (sp?) similaritis and parallels. For instance, I am looking into High schools for DS (we live in a rough area for public schools) I have been seriously considering this school that is out of our district (we can apply, and pay) it is a really good school...anyway B is a teacher there. He teaches gifted as well as special needs children. He loves kids (has two of his own) and knows teenagers (i have one) He also works with my cousin and he gave me a good reference (my cousin)

We talked more and it turns out that he played soccer with my brother and they both had soccer scholarships to college , so he knows my brother He also has the same social background as I do!!!!

he is also very physically active which is important to me.

I am really looking forward to Friday and will update as soon as I am home (I am trying to figure out what to wear)

so, I should go casual, right? I am both nervous and NOT nervous because I feel like we already know each other.

I just have a good feeling about this.

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Old 03-05-2008, 12:26 PM
 
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Wow, i hope it is everything you are hoping it is! Sounds like a great connection.

Thanks for the advice. I always get put off by the men who are intimidated by the amount of children i have. I know i should expect it because i get that reaction from everybody. I am young looking ( i am 32 but look 20) and it is a whole lotta kids. I really like him, the connection/attraction is undeniable. Everytime we lock eyes i feel so much energy. And according to my friend he feels the same. The next time i get a chance i will pursue a playdate or something. The one not so great thing is that this man is quite the catch and many single ladies at the school want him too. I have no clue if anyone else is putting the moves on him but i know through the school grapevine that there is lots of interest!
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Old 03-05-2008, 01:31 PM
 
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Yay!!! Beloved - I'm really happy for you!!! Do you have to wait until Friday to meet him?? I'm impatient. (this is no longer about you its about us basking in your happiness!)

I could have written your post - I met someone!!! More later.
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Old 03-05-2008, 02:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by cycle View Post
Yay!!! Beloved - I'm really happy for you!!! Do you have to wait until Friday to meet him?? I'm impatient. (this is no longer about you its about us basking in your happiness!)

I could have written your post - I met someone!!! More later.
HEY!!! I spilled it, now you need to dish!!!!

                                Whatever will be, already is...
 
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