Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: the bay area, baby!
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
There are things you can do without a therapist. Indeed, you should do things even if you have a therapist. Some of these things are:
1- Positive affirmations. Start looking at yourself in the mirror every morning after you get out of bed and every evening before going to bed and saying, "You are wonderful! I love you!" and any other positive things you like to say and/or need to hear.
2- Positive self-talk. Whenever you find yourself saying something negative to yourself (I witness women say they're stupid to themselves a lot), say three things positive about yourself right afterward. This will help you get into the habit of talking nicely to yourself, even if it takes a while to get out of the habit of talking meanly.
3- Visualize the Love! In your vulnerable times, imagine someone giving you a hug and just loving you up. This is sometimes most helpful if you imagine the adult you loving up the insecure, child you. Eventually, you may be able to put the child you in the past and imagine the adult you getting love and positive affection from another adult (maybe another aspect of yourself or diety).
4- Chant, chant, chant! While going to sleep at night, repeat positive mantras to and about yourself. "I am a great person." "Thank you, Self, for doing... today." I find that bedtime thoughts influence a lot of what I go thru the next day, so I work to make those thoughts positive and affirming.
5- Embrace your inherent Fabulosity. My friends and I have a dedication to the idea of Fabulosity. We are Fabulous and we let others know it! Not in crazy ways, but for example: A guy is trying to get what he wants w/o nec. giving me what I want. I tell him, "We both know I'm too Fabulous to agree to that." It's funny. At least, it tends to make the people I deal with laugh. LOL And, it's helped a couple of my friends really add to their sense of self-worth. "Fabulous" is a great word. I recommend it's usage.
6- Be patient and forgiving. It takes time to rebuild, but the good thing about life is that there's plenty of time! So, forgive yourself and forgive others and move forward. Accept that one step forward is better than no step at all.
Good luck! Practice makes perfect!
Yes, yes. I'm fabulous. Moving on...