Going to see a lawyer today. - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 9 Old 03-07-2008, 03:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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You guys keep me in your thoughts. I will be seeing a Lawyer today. I sure hope that I am not burning one of the last bridges in this relationship. I guess secretly I have been hoping that he would come home and everything would be better.

Anyways since I am pregnant I hope that the lawyer can help out somehow.



Update:
I visited with the lawyer for half an hour today. He encouraged me to go ahead and file for divorce so that child support would start. He also said if STBX wanted our relationship to work then he would have about 6 months to get his crap together before it was finalized. He did tell me not to file for seperation. He said it would probably wind up costing twice the money because 90% of seperations go ahead into divorce. It sounds reasonable. I called STBX and ask him if this is really what he wanted and he just said "whatever you want". Basically he is leaving the decision making on my shoulders. YUCK!

I am going to be entitled to about $1000 a month plus maybe spousal support. STBX was miffed at first. Be we talked, and I told hime I planned to continue Homeschooling and try to attend college in the evenings for at least the first year or two. After that he seemed ok with it. We really do have a good relationship. We just can't be married anymore.

I think it is funny that he called a Lawyer after I told him about the amount of money it was going to be a month and the lawyer apparently wanted to be really cruddy about it and give me a hard time and STBX told him nevermind he didn't want his help!
Also about a week ago he had a friend that tried to talk crud about me and STBX told him the he wasn't in the "He man woman haters club". LOL He told him that I was still the mother of his five children and his friend and he appreciated it if he would not talk about me like that.
Basically we are both at that point. We don't want anyone talking about each other badly even though we are both hurting right now.

Oh and did I mention that his mother still lives with me????? YIKES! I don't know what she will say when she finds out I am filing for divorce. I hope she moves!

Anyways thanks for listening!

~Carla~ LOVING~ LIFE~
Homebirthing, somewhat crunchy, single mom of ~5~.
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#2 of 9 Old 03-07-2008, 10:56 PM
 
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I hope all went well with the lawyer, let us know.
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#3 of 9 Old 03-07-2008, 11:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Update at top.

~Carla~ LOVING~ LIFE~
Homebirthing, somewhat crunchy, single mom of ~5~.
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#4 of 9 Old 03-07-2008, 11:50 PM
 
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It sounds good to me, peachy. You are making good progress and congratulations on having a civil relationship with him. I had a terrible day with my ex. he really thrives on doing little things that are awful, even if it hurts the kids, which it did today.

anyways, you are doing good!
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#5 of 9 Old 03-08-2008, 01:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks Prarie! I need someone telling me I am making the right moves! Right now it seems like everyone from my family is just watching from afar and really don't know what to say.

~Carla~ LOVING~ LIFE~
Homebirthing, somewhat crunchy, single mom of ~5~.
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#6 of 9 Old 03-08-2008, 01:46 AM
 
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You are so lucky that he is being a good guy about it. Just be careful. I wish my X was like that. He did everything he could to make people think I was a bad person, and they talk a lot of crap about me. It sucks. I hope things continue to go well for you mama.

Single mama to Alex(13), Maddy(12), Sam(8), Violet(6), and Ruby(3). fly-by-nursing1.gif
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#7 of 9 Old 03-08-2008, 10:56 AM
 
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It's great to hear that you two are so amicable. It's also smart that you have an attorney letting you know what to expect and what your rights are. Given that you guys are getting along and are respectful of one another, you sound like great candidates for mediation. It's much less expensive and stressful than litigating.
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#8 of 9 Old 03-10-2008, 01:27 AM
 
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I'm glad it's going well, and I hope it stays amicable.
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#9 of 9 Old 03-10-2008, 12:47 PM
 
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Wow that is so great that you are both being so civil. My STBX is being a huge a-hole and it is very frustrating!
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