It got worse - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 9 Old 03-24-2008, 07:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Who knew things could get worse? My husband decides he wants a separation 3 weeks after I find out I am pregnant with our second child. Fine. I go through the whole pregnancy alone. Fine. He promises to financially support our two children and I so the kids do not need to go to day care. Fine. Whoa, wait! He gets fired from his job for misuse of company money. Does he have savings or even a willingness to do what needs to be done? No!

I am putting the intention out there that I want to get on the right side of this. And I need wisdom for the important and difficult decisions I need to make for my children and myself in the next several months.
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#2 of 9 Old 03-24-2008, 08:07 PM
 
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i'm so sorry that just sucks. i learned the hard way to never count on the x. i am still always happy to hear of where it does work out well though.

mama, just pull out your hardass, mama self and get things turned around. you can do it.
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#3 of 9 Old 03-24-2008, 08:24 PM
 
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it can always get worse....
single mama's inspirational thoughts should include - and usually does

wisdom for the decisions ahead...okay these are just my thoughts.
1. relax
2. plan - explore ALL options, detail everyting, take stock
3. you have time don't rush into anything
4. make a list of all of your supports from food stamps to family for support
5. get creative

8 might be enough
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#4 of 9 Old 03-24-2008, 11:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the words of encouragement ladies! Hopefully your words will come back to me when things seem the most rough.
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#5 of 9 Old 03-25-2008, 12:38 PM
 
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Originally Posted by InstinctiveMama View Post
Who knew things could get worse? My husband decides he wants a separation 3 weeks after I find out I am pregnant with our second child. Fine. I go through the whole pregnancy alone. Fine. He promises to financially support our two children and I so the kids do not need to go to day care. Fine. Whoa, wait! He gets fired from his job for misuse of company money. Does he have savings or even a willingness to do what needs to be done? No!

I am putting the intention out there that I want to get on the right side of this. And I need wisdom for the important and difficult decisions I need to make for my children and myself in the next several months.
OMG mama. first let me say im so sorry. second let me say it sounds like maybe we married the same man. DH left me 2 weeks after we found out we were pg with #2... I wasnt even 2 months pg. I also went through the whole pregnancy alone... im due any day now. Then my dh also got fired from his work for stealing company property... not to mention I lost my job too in Dec because the company went bankrupt... I started the divorce process in Nov... he finally replied to paper work in late jan. In jan and late feb he said lets try to make it work... well in short it didnt work. before I could tell him I was done trying I find out he is engaged in march... he has only been gone for 6 1/2 before he got engaged. We had been married for 4 yrs...

I dont know what support I can offer you but if you ever want to chat just PM me. I know it has helped me to talk to people and esp those that know what Im going through. Btw Im 24 and I think its such a shame that Ive had to go through this "mid life crisis" so early. Im here if you want to talk.
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#6 of 9 Old 03-27-2008, 04:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by cubasianchica View Post
OMG mama. first let me say im so sorry. second let me say it sounds like maybe we married the same man. DH left me 2 weeks after we found out we were pg with #2... I wasnt even 2 months pg. I also went through the whole pregnancy alone... im due any day now. Then my dh also got fired from his work for stealing company property... not to mention I lost my job too in Dec because the company went bankrupt... I started the divorce process in Nov... he finally replied to paper work in late jan. In jan and late feb he said lets try to make it work... well in short it didnt work. before I could tell him I was done trying I find out he is engaged in march... he has only been gone for 6 1/2 before he got engaged. We had been married for 4 yrs...

I dont know what support I can offer you but if you ever want to chat just PM me. I know it has helped me to talk to people and esp those that know what Im going through. Btw Im 24 and I think its such a shame that Ive had to go through this "mid life crisis" so early. Im here if you want to talk.
That's just awful! And you are so young. I cannot imagine going through this almost 10 years ago.

Thank you for letting me know I am not the only one struggling right now. There is comfort in shared misery. Take care of yourself and your little one on the inside!
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#7 of 9 Old 03-27-2008, 09:28 PM
 
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Originally Posted by InstinctiveMama View Post
That's just awful! And you are so young. I cannot imagine going through this almost 10 years ago.

Thank you for letting me know I am not the only one struggling right now. There is comfort in shared misery. Take care of yourself and your little one on the inside!
you take care too and remember you can PM me anytime to chat or vent or whatever. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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#8 of 9 Old 03-28-2008, 10:26 AM
 
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When i was pregnant with my 2nd child, ex tried to get me to abort. Constant pressure day and night, in fact into the night so I was sleep deprived and anxious. I was already almost 5 months along so it would have been a nightmare situation plus it was a planned pregnancy and he changed his mind around 4 months. Men sometimes do strange things when their woman is with child. I finally said I would leave him and take him for everything he had and smear his name in the community if he would not shut up. He did.
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#9 of 9 Old 03-28-2008, 03:41 PM
 
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Oh mama. I am so sorry. Shiloh has some amazing advice. I'm afraid all I can offer is a .

Single mama to Alex(13), Maddy(12), Sam(8), Violet(6), and Ruby(3). fly-by-nursing1.gif
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