Mothering Forums

Mothering Forums (http://www.mothering.com/forum/)
-   Single Parenting (http://www.mothering.com/forum/234-single-parenting/)
-   -   New to your tribe (http://www.mothering.com/forum/234-single-parenting/871485-new-your-tribe.html)

stitchinmama 03-27-2008 09:58 AM

Hi ladies,
My husband is leaving me. He is moving out next week. He is moving to a house just up the street. We hope to remain friends and still do things together with the kids. It's gonna be tough...especially since there is another woman involved. We agreed that the kids will not meet her for at least one year. I guess you'll be seeing more of me around here. I've been looking through older threads and I'm finding a lot of good advice.


Just wanted to say hi!

Danielle

WhaleinGaloshes 03-27-2008 10:16 AM

I didn't want to read and not post...please take care of yourself s And Hi!

BelovedK 03-27-2008 10:58 AM

Hi Danielle.

Welcome

I wanted to let you know that after a rough road, I am living the best single mama life and get along with my X (though we went through many, many rough times) we even went to the beach together yesterday

I wanted to warn you that things will probably get worse before they get better, not to be negative, just realistic. X and I required a period of time where we were perfunctory and just saw each other at drop off and pick up. We didn't talk much, and when we did it was about the kids and we sidestepped many an argument.

Emotions will surface and I encourage you to come here for support.

After a period of separation, we redefined our relationship and now are great coparents and even friends. I hope you and your stbx can achieve harmony soon, and may you find peace

Mom2Joseph 03-27-2008 11:00 AM

I can totally sympathize....my DH left last night.

Hugs to you!

mamamoo 03-27-2008 12:26 PM

Just a big . I am so sorry mama. It is rough. You will get through it though, and realize just what a strong, amazing mama you are!

Spring Sun 03-27-2008 12:34 PM

Wow, that is hard. My dh left and THEN I found out he had cheated on meon our honeymoon and while I was pregnant, and who knows when else? You sound like you are staying strong, but please ask for any support you need. It is hard at first, but like Bel k, I am living the goodlife now!

NolaRiordan 03-27-2008 02:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by stitchinmama View Post
Hi ladies,
My husband is leaving me. He is moving out next week. He is moving to a house just up the street. We hope to remain friends and still do things together with the kids. It's gonna be tough...especially since there is another woman involved. We agreed that the kids will not meet her for at least one year.
Welcome. And I am sorry about your situation. Take it one day at a time.

I am glad to hear that your stbx has agreed that the kids won't meet the OW for a while. I've been trying to read everything I can get a hold of on kids and parental infidelity. And I think not exposing them to this for a while is a really good idea.

I've found lots of really great info and advice here. I'm sure you will too.

mamamoo 03-27-2008 02:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by NolaRiordan View Post
Welcome. And I am sorry about your situation. Take it one day at a time.

I am glad to hear that your stbx has agreed that the kids won't meet the OW for a while. I've been trying to read everything I can get a hold of on kids and parental infidelity. And I think not exposing them to this for a while is a really good idea.

I've found lots of really great info and advice here. I'm sure you will too.

:

I wish my X would have agreed to that. My kids have been through hell the last 5 months because of his back and forth crap, and introducing them to her immediately.

pranamama 03-27-2008 02:52 PM

welcome

Shiloh 03-27-2008 03:45 PM

Welcome!
I sure hope that's YOUR new girlfriend (the other woman
Guess not.

A year...I might be suggesting you rethink that not as a time deadline but when the kids have adjusted and can accept her royal homewrecker .... or when you have had some counselling and a $eparation agreement that gives you what you want..
if he's having an affiar he will want normalcy and acceptance of her...leverage it

Welcome I have loved the mamas here, its not a club most of us would choose to be a member of but the support here is awesome.

stitchinmama 03-28-2008 09:30 AM

Thank you all for the kind words. We told the kids last night and then took then to see his new place....man that was hard! My 6 year old had tons of questions, I think it went well though. As well as such a thing could go anyway.

peachymomma 03-28-2008 10:30 AM

I just wanted to say welcome.

Sorry that your going through this, I know it is hard.

LoveOhm 03-28-2008 01:29 PM

Welcome! Yes as they have said it will get bad before it gets better but that seemed to be normal. Be sure to take care of yourself during the process.

trinity6232000 03-28-2008 05:28 PM

Welcome. Please make sure to take care of your needs. I'm sorry about this rough patch.

hkitty 03-28-2008 08:54 PM

How did you explain it to your 6 year old? My stbx is leaving in a month or two and this will be the hardest part for me - trying to explain it to my 6 year old. Also, how did you handle him moving out - have the kids out of the house? Leave for the weekend? So sorry this is happening to you. My stbx cheated on me as well but ended the affair pretty quickly.

StrongSingleMama 03-29-2008 01:42 AM

Just wanted to give you a hug

I am currently going through a divorce and it is very tough.

firstwomantomars 03-29-2008 10:37 AM



Hi! I'm fairly new here too (three months), and the pain is still strong but everything does seem to fall into place if you let it happen. Hang in there!

stitchinmama 03-29-2008 12:30 PM

hkitty:

We just told her that mommy and daddy still love each other very much but we are having a hard time living together. She has seen us fight unfortunately so she understands that part. We told her daddy was going to move to a new house and she would go see him and have sleep overs and was welcome to go to daddy's house anytime she wants. Not sure if we said the right things exactly but its the truth.

Don't know if that helped at all but thats basically the gist of what we said.

As far as moving...he is moving out on Tuesday. I offered to help him because I don't want this other chic in my house! The kids offered to help too so we will move him out as a family. I think the kids will be ok with it because they are excited about having a new room. It will kill me but I'd rather do it than allow the OW near my things!

DaughterOfKali 03-29-2008 06:30 PM

Danielle- Glad you are reaching out to us for support.


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:50 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Resources saved on this page: MySQL 20.00%
vBulletin Optimisation provided by vB Optimise (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2014 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2014 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.