Missing my dds today - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 03-29-2008, 02:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
One Art's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: on the journey
Posts: 908
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So, as far as splitting time with my dds, I actually have a lot more time than stbx does, as I do not yet have a job. They are with him 3-4 evenings a week, and dd1 spend the night two of those evenings. Then they are with him saturdays, dd1 all day, and dd2 for around 4 hours (it'll be 5 today). But when i dropped dd2 off with stbx this morning, and gave dd1 a big hug, and left, I sobbed and sobbed in the car. The evenings they are with him are soooo hard too, and I miss them terribly. I get in this place, sometimes, where I am so upset that stbx left and is therefore forcing me to have less time with them, that I think things like "he doesn't deserve to be with them." And he does deserve to be, he's actually a really great dad, and they totally deserve to spend time with him too, but it's just killing me right now that I don't get to be with my girls.
One Art is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 03-29-2008, 03:17 PM
 
LoveOhm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In Writing Mode!
Posts: 1,891
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It is still an open wound so it will hurt for a while. Allow yourself those emotions but try to look at the time without your girls in one or two more positive ways:

1) Time you can spend researching & establishing a WAH business so you can be financially independent of your ex and also so you can max your time with your girls!

2) Time to recharge your energy. Clean the house, grab drinks or dinner with a friend, prep crafts and fun stuff to use thru out the week with the girls, take a long bath.

Emily I know it is not easy but I really believe filling up this time will make it a little easier on you. And if you spend it one of the two ways I listed above that is really still investing in your girls!

(((HUGS)))

"There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way and not starting." - Buddha.
LoveOhm is offline  
Old 03-29-2008, 05:54 PM
 
StrongSingleMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: OR
Posts: 587
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Emily I am going through the exact same feelings right now and I am missing my DD's like crazy today. It is so hard. I try to keep busy but my mind keeps going to them. It is rough.
StrongSingleMama is offline  
Old 04-01-2008, 02:27 PM
 
Chantelle691's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 390
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yes, I agree with filling that time as much as possible. Dinner with friends, a pedicure, go to Barnes and Noble and get a coffee and read a book..keep yourself busy. It's always harder for me when I'm home alone and dd isn't there - and she's with her dad. I don't mind if she's with a friend or anyone else, it's the time she's with him that breaks my heart.
Chantelle691 is offline  
Old 04-01-2008, 08:14 PM
 
JustVanessa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: On the river bank....
Posts: 6,616
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Well I have been doing the visitation thing for almost 2 years now. mama, it does get easier. I used to stay really really busy when ds was gone. I would go to the gym, meet up with single friends, window shop, clean my car/house. When he first started doing overnights it would be on the weekends and I would go dancing with my girlfriends, or go to the city and spend the night with my aunt.

It does get easier as time passes. Now I use my free time to relax, spend time with my new dp and do things that toddlers can't help with (ex paint the bathroom). I find now that having 2 days away really makes me appreciate being with ds the other 5 days a week.
HTH!

Vanessa belly.gif, wife to Kev , mama to Byron (5) wild.gif and Billie (2) and  due in June
JustVanessa is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off