Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: listening to kriping churckets
Mentioned: 16 Post(s)
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I think there are lots of ways to maintain that bond.
Give the child a cell phone?
Write letters - mail rocks, parcels are even cooler.
Small things, favourite snacks.
Plan more long weekends, minivacation type memorable events.
Send him home with miniphotobooks of your times together (my mom does this when she has my kids just those free type ones they get at the photo place so they go home with their memories)
Start things you can do together - get him a camera so you can take pictures of life together, see things from his perspective. Involve him in the things that interest you -cooking, whatever so when he sees those things he is reminded of you.
An ipod with books read on tape...my mom also does this so they kids have stories from their nanna at night.
He still sleeps with you, get something special he can transition with that can be at your place at at his fathers...
My dd lives with her dad, its actually not that bad (she was older though ten when she went to live there) I get the fun time, not the brush your teeth young lady time. We get to go to movies, dinner, he gets parent teacher interviews.
Also with the distance vary how you go pick him up, boys love transportation, take the train, take a plane....
also make sure your custody order is temporary not permanent and it can always change ask what age he can choose where he lives in the states this is before the court. Often situations change, ex gets new wife suddenly older step child not so appealing with new baby.
You also might want to look into play therapy to help with any transition they teach neat connecting exercises with touch/attachment that might help ease the back and forth.
And please look at this possiblity as only temporary...
its easy to get sucked into the horribleness of feeling like your child is ripped away from you, and feeling like you are not even a 100% mother when your child is not there, crap most of us AP mamas can barely bring ourselves to take a vacation without the dc.....this is not going to be easy and probably most of our worst nightmares.
I got nothing but hugs for you mama and hope things don't turn out that way.
You never know what can happen in family court...never
8 might be enough?
Or maybe 9 will be?
EDD September 18, 2015