Single mom, 9 year old boy, 1 bedroom apartment? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 04-10-2008, 11:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I need to get my budget in order, so I'm looking at making some pretty substantial changes.

Right now we live in a 2 bedroom apartment we love in a neighborhood where we're very connected that has a lot of advantages -- but the rent, while low for this neighborhood (rent controlled) is still eating up more than 1/2 of my take home pay. We've looked at cheaper apartments but I always end up having concerns -- about safety, or I've heard there are rats in the building (one thing I just can't deal with) or it would add a lot of time to our commute.

There's a 1 bedroom coming available our building for $700 a month less. Obviously this would help the budget immensely. I'm very tempted to get it, but it would mean either putting DS or myself in the living room or having us share a room. I was thinking of getting a cheap loft bed from IKEA and hanging curtains under it so DS would have a private space in the living room, but I'm not sure that's fair. This would probably be for about 2 1/2 years since our plan is to move to the suburbs when he starts middle school.

What do people think?
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#2 of 12 Old 04-11-2008, 12:08 AM
 
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er...even at 9 he needs more privacy than that. Certainly by age 11. There are certain...embarrassments you don't want to share with your mom if you're a boy that age. You'll end up sleeping in the living room the whole time. Which, you know, some people do.

What will you do for a work/dressing area if you have that setup? Where will he have friends playing?
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#3 of 12 Old 04-11-2008, 01:33 AM
 
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If you decide to go with the one bedroom I would give my child the bedroom and take the living room myself with a nice sofa bed.
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#4 of 12 Old 04-11-2008, 01:56 AM
 
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My mom and I successfully lived in a 1 bedroom apartment for YEARS She gave me the room and used the "dining room" as her bedroom, actually everyone who came over thought it was kinda neat. In any case the only time it was ever a problem was at 3am when I'd get hungry and try to sneak food from the kitchen, because in our particular place her bed was right next to the kitchen so I had no hopes of not waking her lol.

I will say though, what drove me to move the hell out was back in August when my mom got an awful skanky boyfriend who reeked of piss and I couldn't come home from work without being traumatized by viewing their clothes all over the living room and their romping asses in her bed. (Don't even get me started..)

I think you can live quite successfully in a 1 bedroom apartment for many years if it's what you need to do. It could be weird at first but it's not hard to get right into a fine routine. =]
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#5 of 12 Old 04-11-2008, 02:04 AM
 
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I'm not a single mom, but I wanted to pop in to let you know that it is doable. Their are four of us in a one bedroom. The kids (8 and 9) share the room that used to be ours and we sleep in the living room. It offers us a lot more privacy that way.

It's worked for a year and we'd do it for another year if the rent wasn't so much.

Body, I've been more than patient. Please make a baby. Please?
always loving my babies. (May 08)(April 09)(August 09)(September 09) (December 10)
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#6 of 12 Old 04-11-2008, 08:22 AM
 
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When I was a kid I had a friend that was a boy that had a set up like that. They shared the room as far as keeping their things in it. Mom had half the closet son had the other half. His Mom also had a lot of her things in the room, but the room was his and his Mom sleep on the couch. That was when I was 11 and I think the boy was 12 maybe even 13. The set up didnt bother him, but he had grown up sharing a room with her all his life so that might be why.

Brandy; Mother to Aspen (7/1996) and Ky (5/2006) and partner to Ryan

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#7 of 12 Old 04-13-2008, 01:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mama41 View Post
er...even at 9 he needs more privacy than that. Certainly by age 11. There are certain...embarrassments you don't want to share with your mom if you're a boy that age. You'll end up sleeping in the living room the whole time. Which, you know, some people do.

What will you do for a work/dressing area if you have that setup? Where will he have friends playing?
Sleeping in the living room wouldn't bother me at all, except that that's DS's favorite place to hang out. Even if he has friends over he only plays in the bedroom if I shoo them in there because I want to clean up or do something on the computer (which I'll probably move to my room if I do this). He even chooses to sleep on the couch most night rather than in his own bed in his room.

I assume this will all change as he grows up. If that change comes before we move out (at this point I'm thinking that after 5th grade we'll move to the suburbs to be in a better middle school) then I'll be happy to switch rooms.
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#8 of 12 Old 04-13-2008, 01:38 AM
 
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I did this with my eight year old son for a year. I gave him the bedroom and I slept on a futon in the living room. I used the hall closet as my closet. You can make it work if you want to.
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#9 of 12 Old 04-13-2008, 01:34 PM
 
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I do it, but I'd give him the bedroom and use either a loft or a futon/daybed for yourself in the living room. It's more fair that way, and I think you'd be grateful for the arrangement since I'd imagine he goes to bed before you do.

Loft beds are great, though, if you have the ceiling height. You could build/buy one to put your 'office' under or a closet...the possibilities are endless.
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#10 of 12 Old 04-13-2008, 02:44 PM
 
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I've had friends who slept on the couch their entire teenage years and were ok with the situation. It sounds like him being in the livingroom will work best for your family and when that changes you can reassess.
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#11 of 12 Old 04-13-2008, 02:51 PM
 
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When I was single I used to sleep in the kitchen on a single bed where the table was supposed to go. We made a corner for the table in the livingroom. I got the closet in my sons room and he got the dresser.
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#12 of 12 Old 04-13-2008, 05:14 PM
 
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I ask my 10 year old what he thought. He said that an area of the living room would be fine with him. But he has always liked sleeping on the couch even with his own room and bed.

Why dont you ask your DS? I bet he has some input. You guys can figure out something that will be workable! Just make him part of figuring it out

~Carla~ LOVING~ LIFE~
Homebirthing, somewhat crunchy, single mom of ~5~.
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