Can we live together but be divorced/separated? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 04-24-2008, 12:27 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay I am beginning to realise that dh/stbx whatever he is...
might work out better if we have our own spaces..I like controlling my own life/time... and I am not really interested in anyone else or any other relationship...and he only cheats on me with his job...he's a workaholic...no family/work balance

We've been separated now...14 months WOW...we managed to get pregnant during the honeymoon phase of seeing if we should get back together...contrary to other people's wishes I don't feel I need him back because of that...we get along pretty okay when he can just come in and be here....and when he has to work works...as long as his workaholic heart desires

But i was thinking since the realestate market is becomming more of a bargain..... and we are paying obscene rent on 2 places.....could he/we/me buy a house with a basement apartment and he lives in that...and the kids and I in the upstairs but still remain legally separated?
I know some people would say whats the point but.....

8 might be enough
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#2 of 9 Old 04-24-2008, 12:45 AM
 
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In some states that wouldn't fly. In GA that could be considered a fraudulent divorce and some attornies won't handle it.

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#3 of 9 Old 04-24-2008, 12:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't mean in the same house...like if I had a basement apartment could I rent it to him and still be divorced?

8 might be enough
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#4 of 9 Old 04-24-2008, 12:53 AM
 
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Same answer. You will have to ask the court or your attorney.

I know that our firm wouldn't handle your case based on what you've said.

Liz

Wife, and mother to a small fairy, a demolition expert, a special new someone this fall and a small dachshund.
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#5 of 9 Old 04-24-2008, 01:06 AM
 
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It might depend on whether you have two separate entrances (whether it's considered a single-family dwelling or a duplex)
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#6 of 9 Old 04-24-2008, 01:26 AM
 
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It really does depend on your state--here in WI, you don't have to physically separate to divorce. And I would assume in some states that a separate address would be sufficient, even if those addresses happen to be in the same building (i.e. 101A and 101B E. Main Street). But this is really a question for your lawyer.

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#7 of 9 Old 04-24-2008, 11:10 AM
 
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In Florida you can do it that way. There was a couple there at the same time as us for thier final judgment and they were still going to live together for quite a while because of their lease.
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#8 of 9 Old 04-24-2008, 11:28 AM
 
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I know a few families that do this. Most of them work opposite shifts, and live in the same house, just as roommates. They do it for the kids, and if they have any personal relationships, it is never brought into the house. Not just our of respect for the ex, but for the kids sake as well.
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#9 of 9 Old 04-24-2008, 05:40 PM
 
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There was recently a thread about divorcing but still living together http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=878621.

It might be useful for you to read through what some of us had to say. I know that people can do it, but it is rough!! You really need to assess your own personal situation and think about how you would handle x's dating or other lifestyles and how much the DC would be exposed. How would it affect you? Do you want him to be so close to you and be able to know when you are home, out, etc.? I think for the DC it would be wonderful if you can get along and they can be so close to both of you. In my situation, we get along on the surface but I need to bite my tongue so often and just deal with stuff that I wish I didn't have to see, process, deal with. I am very much looking forward to him moving out in about 3 weeks!! Just think that buying a house is a long term commitment. Even if you can get an excellent deal and he would have his own entrance, etc. it still may be too close for comfort. You need to be the judge!
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